About Alastrina : tattoo apprentice, artist, daydreamer, general weirdo but in a good way.
I'm made of awesomeness too!
I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Today, I had to listen to yet another delusional fuckface at school bitch about how a girl he's interested in put him in the "friend-zone". I really couldn't focus on my work, so I tried to shut him up by saying he's an idiot, not least because she already has a boyfriend. I now have a black eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27142) - you deserved it (11932)
On 05/16/2013 at 4:31pm - health - by getafucktoysomewhereelsedude (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was chatting with a co-worker, and she mentioned she has trouble swallowing pills. I replied that I'm lucky, because I have next to no gag reflex. Half the guys at the other registers abruptly went silent, and I'm now being constantly hit on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27891) - you deserved it (11995)
On 03/28/2013 at 4:56pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Champagne-Ardenne)
Today, my young son and I were in line at Subway. I guess he got bored and started to insult the teenage girl behind us. I tried to get him to stop, but he wouldn't listen. Eventually the girl punched him in the face and left. As my son cried uncontrollably, everyone else there clapped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6758) - you deserved it (36787)
On 10/23/2012 at 12:25am - kids - by Bratty son (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I got a text message from my boss that read, "You've been very bad. Severe punishment is in order." I'm not sure whether I should be turned on or terrified. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15007) - you deserved it (1635)
On 10/10/2012 at 9:58am - work - by whatadaydanny (man) - Dominica
Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10544) - you deserved it (42347)
On 10/09/2012 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by cumhole (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found out why the girl I like won't give me the time of day. Apparently, I called her ugly and pushed her into a puddle when we were in kindergarten. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13446) - you deserved it (21298)
On 09/27/2012 at 10:41pm - love - by thatwas10yearsago (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my wife of four years revealed to me that she once had sex with six men at once back in college. Apparently she still fantasizes about it when we have sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22976) - you deserved it (2123)
On 09/25/2012 at 11:09am - intimacy - by supapimpin (man) - United States
Today, I was trying to convince my flatmate to agree to let me get us a kitten. After gushing about how cute they are, and showing her loads of pictures, she just stared at me and said, "You really need a penis inside you now and again." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10528) - you deserved it (15327)
On 09/24/2012 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by foreveralone (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)
Today, I received the heels I'll be wearing at my best friend's wedding. The bride ordered them for us to match the dresses. They're six-inch platform heels. I have three broken toes and am still wearing a boot. The wedding is next weekend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13808) - you deserved it (1064)
On 09/18/2012 at 12:35am - health - by AnnieThrax (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my grandpa was visiting. My neighbors started blasting out rap music, as they've done nearly 24/7 for months, telling me to fuck off when I complain. He went over and screamed he'd gut them like fish if they didn't pipe down. They did. He's 68 and still more intimidating than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14416) - you deserved it (2961)
On 09/07/2012 at 6:59pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)
Today, an unknown number left me a lengthy voicemail of what sounds like two people having sex. This is the closest I've gotten to real-life sex in 2 years. I listened to it three times. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19910) - you deserved it (7501)
On 09/05/2012 at 12:44am - intimacy - by anonymous (man) - Australia
Today, I learned I'm not allergic to gluten. My mom has kept me on a gluten free diet since I was 5. She was convinced I was allergic to it. I'm 25 and I am writing this over my first slice of pizza in 20 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25722) - you deserved it (1405)
On 09/04/2012 at 5:38pm - health - by Emma - United States (Missouri)
Today, I told my daughter that she should put some love into her cooking. She started kissing the ingredients. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14124) - you deserved it (10526)
On 03/19/2012 at 12:59am - kids - by FoodyFood (woman) - Australia (South Australia)
Today, I'm supposed to start my new job as a Crime Scene Tech. Instead, I managed to electrocute myself with my hairdryer. I'll now have to attempt to explain to them that I really am qualified to safely operate an electrostatic lifting device, and other expensive equipment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13511) - you deserved it (4317)
On 01/18/2012 at 6:15am - work - by Lyn (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, while I was peacefully sleeping, I felt a hand suddenly slap my forehead. Then fingers began to press against my mouth, then nose, then eyes. I finally woke up to my girlfriend laughing hysterically. She'd confused me with her clock-radio. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20304) - you deserved it (2454) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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