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Today, I went on a blind date with a girl I met online. I lied to her that I was single, and she told me she is single too. I immediately knew she was lying when I saw her. Why? Because she is my girlfriend. We broke up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4462) - you totally deserved it (31609)
On 02/01/2010 at 2:35pm - misc - by Mhsaysdance (man) - Malaysia (Perak)
Today, I was giving a class presentation, when I suddenly sneezed so hard I wet myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20031) - you totally deserved it (1955)
On 02/01/2010 at 2:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I was walking by a pond when I saw a small frog. I decided to catch it to get a close look. After I picked it up, I realized that it was not a frog. It was dog shit shaped like a frog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5615) - you totally deserved it (17138)
On 02/01/2010 at 9:34am - misc - by adad - Sent from a mobile version
Today, I heard the sound of footsteps in the basement. Thinking it was burglars I grabbed a baseball bat and hurried down the stairs. I then tripped on the stairs, fell down them and smacked my head on the bat. The sound of footsteps I heard? It was my cat playing in some cardboard boxes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11977) - you totally deserved it (3739)
Today, my mother gave my daughter a behavior chart. I noticed that "drinking beer" was at the top of one of the columns. It's a chart for my daughter to use on me so my mother can judge my parenting skills. I am currently losing a sticker right now for being on the computer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17220) - you totally deserved it (2294)
On 02/01/2010 at 8:17am - kids - by argh (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, while in the elevator with the girl from my office that I've been crushing on, but never spoken to, I said "aren't elevators awkward?" After a long silence, she got off three floors before our office. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6679) - you totally deserved it (11082)
On 02/01/2010 at 7:36am - misc - by wilsmith (man) - China (Beijing)
Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33605) - you totally deserved it (2611)
On 02/01/2010 at 5:23am - misc - by doesnttastegood (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)
Today, I was playing rugby. I was tackled very hard at the end of a play, and I got up to find my head bleeding profusely. Not one person offered to drive me to the ER. I had to drive myself to get six stitches in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16505) - you totally deserved it (1678)
On 02/01/2010 at 2:34am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, it's officially been two weeks since I found out I have mono. It's also been two weeks since anyone has visited me, called me, or even emailed me. The real kicker? I'm now fired from my job because they can't believe I can have mono twice in one year. I guess I'm just lucky that way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15473) - you totally deserved it (1637)
On 02/01/2010 at 1:43am - health - by blah - Sent from a mobile version
Today, my friend was showing me pictures of her and her family. I told her to stop at one of the pictures. I started laughing my back off and said that she looked grotesque. She asked me if I was serious, I swore that I was. It was actually a picture of her sister, who died 1 year ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3874) - you totally deserved it (24749)
On 02/01/2010 at 12:45am - misc - by Sam (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was taking my dogs for a walk, then it started to rain, and the wind went mad. I ran for cover in the trees near a bridge, slipped and fell into a river. I was soaking wet and my boots were full of water. Then to get back out of the river, I had to use stinging nettles as hand holds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13487) - you totally deserved it (1537)
On 02/01/2010 at 12:27am - misc - by Jammy238 - Sent from a mobile version
Today, I was in an elevator, and the hot girl who lives in my building and who I have a crush on got in. She was in a wheelchair with a broken leg, I panicked and tried to flirt with her, and I said 'Nice chair.' She replied 'Nice bruise' and punched me in the nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4562) - you totally deserved it (20121)
On 02/01/2010 at 12:15am - love - by Liam. - Sent from a mobile version
Today, I sliced my finger open because my roommate's girlfriend put a broken ceramic plate in the recycling. I was putting some paper in the bin and all of a sudden, an inch and a half of my flesh is naked to the world. I don't have medical insurance, so I fixed it with superglue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14939) - you totally deserved it (4625)
On 02/01/2010 at 12:00am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my little brother was playing with my cat, getting it to chase a laser pointer. He thought it would be funny to shine the laser pointer over my nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14664) - you totally deserved it (1575)
On 01/31/2010 at 10:16pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I slipped on my icy front porch, fell back and hit my head on the step. I tried to get up, but lost my balance and fell halfway into the bush next to the steps. I then looked up to see my very hot, British, Ex-Special Forces next door neighbor laughing so hard he dropped his snow shovel. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12002) - you totally deserved it (1239)
On 01/31/2010 at 9:12pm - misc - by youlyingjerk (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
