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Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Today, at work a female co-worker was struggling with a stack of boxes in her hands. Her pantyhose was falling down and she asked me to help her. So I pulled up her pantyhose. When I looked up, she had a horrified look on her face. She was asking me to help her hold the boxes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5399) - you deserved it (36217)
On 12/25/2009 at 3:10am - work - by harrassment101 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I introduced my family to beerpong. They especially liked the part about distracting each other while shooting. My grandma flashed me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22880) - you deserved it (8321)
On 12/25/2009 at 1:28am - misc - by ScarredForLife (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I saw a roach on my toilet. I thought it would be funny to pee on it. It jumped out, which scared me; I hit my head on the wall and started bleeding, then I peed all over me and the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6253) - you deserved it (30693)
On 12/22/2009 at 2:18pm - misc - by funyfunkid (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was about to propose. I got on my knee in front of my girlfriend and opened the box. My friend thought it would be funny to replace the ring with a condom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36448) - you deserved it (3011)
On 12/20/2009 at 3:14am - love - by Catholicguy (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was attending a drug-free lecture at school. The speaker said, "There are many ways to quit smoking. You can try patches, gum, or even quitting cold turkey. Any questions?" I raised my hand, and she called on me. I asked, "How does cold turkey help?" And then I realized. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5477) - you deserved it (24750)
On 12/09/2009 at 7:53pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, as I stopped at a traffic light, I noticed the man in the car next to me break out in laughter. I pulled over later on to see that someone had drawn a large penis on the side of my van. I then spent all my morning cleaning it off. I went outside later only to see someone had redrawn it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28413) - you deserved it (2606)
On 11/01/2009 at 9:36am - misc - by WasteOfTime (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, I opened my personal laptop at a company meeting. I forgot that the battery died while watching a porno last night. It was ten seconds of slurping, spitting and gagging. It was my first day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5198) - you deserved it (21244)
On 10/28/2009 at 3:14pm - intimacy - by Moody (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, while shopping for some bananas at my local grocery store, an old woman came up to me and started rubbing my stomach. She simply asked when I was due. I am a 43 year old man with a beer belly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27721) - you deserved it (10478)
On 10/24/2009 at 6:24pm - misc - by fmlifetime (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I carved a pumpkin for Halloween. I thought it would be cool to carve my name, and have it shine through onto the wall behind it. I figured that if I carved my name backwards then it would show up correct on the wall. My name's Lana and now my wall says Anal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9607) - you deserved it (38824)
On 10/23/2009 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, I carved a pumpkin for Halloween. I thought it would be cool to carve my name, and have it shine through onto the wall behind it. I figured that if I carved my name backwards then it would show up correct on the wall. My name's Lana and now my wall says Anal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9607) - you deserved it (38824)
On 10/23/2009 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, while sitting with my son, an ice cream cone landed on my head from out of no where. I look up to see three children on the balcony above us yelling, "Look we hit the fat lady!" They ran away laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27980) - you deserved it (4442)
On 10/22/2009 at 11:47am - misc - by mvgirl - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my cat managed to lock my dad and me outside of our house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24156) - you deserved it (4945)
On 10/21/2009 at 10:58pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my cat managed to lock my dad and me outside of our house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24156) - you deserved it (4945)
On 10/21/2009 at 10:58pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my house got robbed, while I was upstairs taking a dump. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36715) - you deserved it (4415)
On 10/20/2009 at 6:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I handed out 30 resumes only to find out, after the last resume was handed out, my brother had changed the last sentence of every paragraph to 'I am a massive douche bag.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (29513) - you deserved it (5233)
On 10/18/2009 at 6:52am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Monday 20 May 2013
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