Umm ok?
Today, as I stopped at a traffic light, I noticed the man in the car next to me break out in laughter. I pulled over later on to see that someone had drawn a large penis on the side of my van. I then spent all my morning cleaning it off. I went outside later only to see someone had redrawn it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21551) - you totally deserved it (1540)
On 11/01/2009 at 9:36am - misc - by WasteOfTime (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, my son's hamster died. It was overweight and got stuck in its plastic tube. My 6 year old son came downstairs to me smashing a plastic tube with a dead hamster in it on the kitchen table. He thinks I killed it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19402) - you totally deserved it (2414)
On 10/27/2009 at 3:35pm - misc - by freylero - United Kingdom (Greater London)
Today, while shopping for some bananas at my local grocery store, an old woman came up to me and started rubbing my stomach. She simply asked when I was due. I am a 43 year old man with a beer belly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21674) - you totally deserved it (8272)
On 10/24/2009 at 6:24pm - misc - by fmlifetime (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I carved a pumpkin for Halloween. I thought it would be cool to carve my name, and have it shine through onto the wall behind it. I figured that if I carved my name backwards then it would show up correct on the wall. My name's Lana and now my wall says Anal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6291) - you totally deserved it (24764)
On 10/23/2009 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, while sitting with my son, an ice cream cone landed on my head from out of no where. I look up to see three children on the balcony above us yelling, "Look we hit the fat lady!" They ran away laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21816) - you totally deserved it (2920)
On 10/22/2009 at 11:47am - misc - by mvgirl - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I took my first Viagra. It worked great, but "Wally, the one-eyed wonder-weasel" would not return to "hiding". After 4 hours, I was in mortal aching pain, and went to my doctor for a shot and sedative. My wife, the doctor, and the nurse could not stifle their laughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4507) - you totally deserved it (1808)
On 10/22/2009 at 12:07am - intimacy - by ItsFunnyNow (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my cat managed to lock my dad and me outside of our house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18258) - you totally deserved it (3776)
On 10/21/2009 at 10:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my house got robbed, while I was upstairs taking a dump. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29199) - you totally deserved it (3391)
On 10/20/2009 at 6:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I got diagnosed with a condition that expresses itself in the form of violent diarrhea whenever I get nervous. Now I am constantly nervous about getting nervous about anything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27448) - you totally deserved it (1113)
On 10/18/2009 at 9:36am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Norrbottens Lan)
Today, I handed out 30 resumes only to find out, after the last resume was handed out, my brother had changed the last sentence of every paragraph to 'I am a massive douche bag.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (23561) - you totally deserved it (4041)
On 10/18/2009 at 6:52am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was at a store and came across a Halloween candy isle. I got so excited that I began talking to the candy, in a fake British accent. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4170) - you totally deserved it (24005)
On 10/18/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by mojozk (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I realized that the shorts I have been wearing all day say "Juicy" on the ass. My name is John. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7156) - you totally deserved it (29505)
On 09/08/2009 at 9:33pm - misc - by JuicyJohn (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (87911) - you totally deserved it (18896)
On 05/17/2009 at 8:33am - intimacy - by wtfdreams (man) - United States (California)
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (95951) - you totally deserved it (22430)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I babysat 3 year old twins. They have a huge dry erase board hanging inbetween their beds. After they fell asleep I drew a very detailed and large drawing of a penis. When I went to erase it I realized it was in Sharpie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19843) - you totally deserved it (225604)
On 03/15/2009 at 1:47pm - kids - by babysitter (woman) - United States (New York)
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