I love listening to music.
Turtles and Giraffes are the shit.
Leave me alone! I ate the last pudding so WHAT?!
I don't touch myself! You must be seeing things...
Shit, I left the microwave on :(
Greatest commentors:
Intoxicunt
snickerdoodles
pendatic
ashlynn610
Brave_Sir_Robin
mercyFML
redbluegreen
boopityboppity
KurouTenshi
paigeatsflesh
MermaidSongXOXO
Sirin
blitzen123
Monikabug
ImaginaryFoe
perdix
CallMeHush
Starfire22
FernandoTorres
AngryNinja
ScaryyMary
This is in alphabetical order. It's just all mixed up.
Try and make my list :)
Today, I saw my dad going into my bedroom looking suspicious. Apparently he hides pornography in my wardrobe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8412) - you totally deserved it (450)
On 03/20/2010 at 2:04pm - misc - by Jessica (woman) - United Kingdom (Dudley)
Today, my physics teacher accidentally lit me on fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16211) - you totally deserved it (1429)
On 03/18/2010 at 11:22am - health - by human torch - United States
Today, while playing Star Wars: The Force Unleashed, my phone rang, and I instinctively tried to pick it up with the Force. I kept trying until it stopped ringing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2583) - you totally deserved it (21665)
On 02/20/2010 at 2:04pm - misc - by analinguist (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I realized that I tend to sleep walk, sleep dial, and sleep talk. How did I find out? The police showed up armed and ready at my door because I called 911 and told them about the dream I'd been having, in which my fiance murdered four people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15230) - you totally deserved it (1577)
On 02/15/2010 at 12:05pm - misc - by sleepdialer (woman) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18009) - you totally deserved it (1077)
On 02/12/2010 at 2:51am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was at one of the urinals in a bathroom. A chubby kid goes to the urinal next to mine and starts peeing violently. Apparently, he was peeing so violently that it splashed onto my legs the whole time. I've picked the wrong day to wear shorts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14685) - you totally deserved it (1336)
On 02/09/2010 at 12:27am - misc - by wurtabang - United States (Virginia)
Today, my maid washed my PS3. Yes, with soap and water. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20667) - you totally deserved it (8752)
Today, I went out for dinner with some friends to a new restaurant. As I was finishing the soup, I noticed a small curly hair at the bottom of the soup. The chef is bald. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16202) - you totally deserved it (1008)
On 02/07/2010 at 9:19am - misc - by Anonymous - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)
Today, I was feeling hungry, so I went to the kitchen to get a bowl of cereal. I found hundreds of weevils festering in my Lucky Charms. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12922) - you totally deserved it (2137)
On 02/06/2010 at 1:48pm - misc - by annony-moose - Sent from a mobile version
Today, I couldn't use my normal subway exit stairway. There was a homeless man blocking the exit, furiously shitting and wiping his ass with newspaper. I can never un-see this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23392) - you totally deserved it (1222)
On 02/04/2010 at 1:01am - misc - by subwayrider (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I had my cigs tucked into my waistband because my shorts didn't have pockets. A friend walks up and asks for a smoke. I say "I've got something you can smoke right here", tugging at my shorts. The "friend" then kicks me in the nuts for being a douche. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4037) - you totally deserved it (19549)
On 01/28/2010 at 5:24am - misc - by wishihadpockets (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8032) - you totally deserved it (20156)
On 01/24/2010 at 10:31pm - misc - by Ben (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I woke up with my face sharpied. I live alone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21986) - you totally deserved it (1746)
On 01/22/2010 at 3:51pm - misc - by Funnymann - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He tried to put it in unerected. He was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6304) - you totally deserved it (1203)
On 01/02/2010 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by xxxzzzooo (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, it is New Year's Day. While all of my friends are out partying, I stayed home and mastered level 34 on FarmVille. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6604) - you totally deserved it (17633)
On 01/01/2010 at 3:16am - misc - by thatsjustlovely (woman) - United States (California)
