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Ajisjesus

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Ajisjesus
  • Town/Country : Hilo, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 18 July 1990 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 451
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Ajisjesus : I play guitar, I'm a closet nerd, I live in Hawaii..
+3 life points
I'm helplessly in love with a girl who i mostly likely have no chance with...
-6 life points...

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Ajisjesus's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were on the phone. He started talking dirty, and saying how horny he was, etc. So I decided to play along and said "I want you to picture me naked, baby." All of a sudden I heard a huge sigh. He responded, "Ew, that just killed it." FML

#3925036 (189)

I agree, your life sucks (53504) - you deserved it (8496)

On 07/21/2009 at 6:42am - intimacy - by picturemenakedbaby (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I proudly informed my boyfriend that I am now a size 4, down from an 18, after months of dieting and exercising after he told me he would like me to be a size 6. He broke up with me for "not listening to what he wanted" and "being an overachiever". FML

#3861516 (365)

I agree, your life sucks (58926) - you deserved it (5586)

On 07/18/2009 at 5:35pm - misc - by overachiever - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was riding on a stationary exercise bike at home, when I went to get off, my shorts got stuck under the seat. I dangled half upside down until my shorts ripped and I fell on the ground face first breaking my front tooth. I broke my tooth riding a bike that doesn’t even move. FML

#897879 (95)

I agree, your life sucks (47972) - you deserved it (6853)

On 04/10/2009 at 4:17am - misc - by missy (woman) - Italy (Toscana)

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

#837103 (586)

I agree, your life sucks (41183) - you deserved it (115395)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by FML.. (woman) - China (Hebei)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for awhile, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792 (851)

I agree, your life sucks (233210) - you deserved it (20071)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - intimacy - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was going on a dinner date with a girl I had just met. After I picked her up I asked her if she would like to get lobster. She looked at me and asked if those were the red ones. Confused I nodded. She replied, "Sorry, I don't eat red meat." I laughed. She was serious. FML

#834791 (170)

I agree, your life sucks (51573) - you deserved it (4077)

On 04/06/2009 at 1:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my patient, a chubby little girl, stood on a scale to measure her weight. She was 5 yrs old and weighed 65 lbs. I started giving her advice on eating healthy: fruits, vegetables, and more greens. She turned to her mother giving a look of shock and said, "But mommy, the doctor is fat too!" FML

#810439 (154)

I agree, your life sucks (43112) - you deserved it (13398)

On 04/05/2009 at 12:25am - kids - by Shnur (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I thought I heard my little sister playing on my brand new grand piano. Angry, I ran downstairs to stop her. My parents were having sex. On my piano. FML

#800425 (338)

I agree, your life sucks (191269) - you deserved it (9749)

On 04/04/2009 at 2:15pm - intimacy - by GuitarChick42 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to see my gynecologist. She was writing my symptoms up in my chart on her computer. After a little while, I noticed that she had a confused look on her face and was reading something instead. When I took a peek at the computer screen, I saw that she was Googling my symptoms. FML

#792519 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (75139) - you deserved it (2504)

On 04/03/2009 at 11:10pm - health - by blehhh (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my siblings came home for the weekend. At dinner, my dad started complaining at how one of my siblings had gotten fired, one was failing college, and the other was gay. He went on to say I was 17 and already had a bright future. I'm pregnant. FML

#792212 (275)

I agree, your life sucks (38888) - you deserved it (37456)

On 04/03/2009 at 10:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I accidentally dropped my phone in the toilet. I automatically dove my hand in and ran out of the stall with it. As I dried it, some girls were laughing. I assumed that they were laughing because my phone fell in the toilet. Then I noticed my pants were still down. FML

#790752 (54)

I agree, your life sucks (15106) - you deserved it (28022)

On 04/03/2009 at 9:42pm - misc - by tmac (woman) - United States

Today, I left the iron and ironing board in my room. While I was at school, my mom decided to do some ironing, and did it in my room for convenience. The iron needed water, so she took a water bottle from my dresser and poured it in. It was my secret vodka stash, and the iron caught on fire. FML

#782957 (140)

I agree, your life sucks (16972) - you deserved it (52883)

On 04/03/2009 at 2:13pm - misc - by healey16 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a 7 year old girl randomly came up to me and told me to fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard this conversation, she came up to me and told me to fuck myself as well. FML

#696283 (546)

I agree, your life sucks (162580) - you deserved it (14992)

On 03/30/2009 at 1:06am - kids - by Wmsys32pr9 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML

#618909 (383)

I agree, your life sucks (140136) - you deserved it (19171)

On 03/26/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by JAY22 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was trying to convince my boyfriend that I am NOT a dumb blonde. After screaming at the top of my lungs, I tripped over a bin and hit my head on a wall. FML

#582886 (164)

I agree, your life sucks (15452) - you deserved it (64636)

On 03/24/2009 at 7:10pm - misc - by blondie (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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