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Aim4thebullseye's favorite FMLs
by nohair / 04/24/2011 at 10:06am / United States (Georgia) / Health
Today, I informed my grandparents of my upcoming graduation from college. My grandma looked at me with tears in her eyes, and told me how proud she was that I was able to make it so far in spite of being autistic. I am not, nor have I ever been autistic. FML
by Acesup111 / 03/02/2011 at 12:24am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by AntiBobTheBuilder / 03/02/2011 at 12:22am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, surprisingly, my roommate made a nice meal. Within an hour, I started throwing up. When I confronted her, she confessed that she'd used long expired ingredients, including meat, because she didn't want the garbage men to think she's "the type that wastes food." FML
by stillsick / 03/01/2011 at 7:11pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
Today, I told my boyfriend I was leaving him because he's cheating on me. He then told me he will die without me. When I said that I didn't care, he said 'OK. I'll kill myself!' and then held his breath in attempt to suffocate himself. I can't believe I dated this idiot. FML
by youshitme / 03/01/2011 at 7:12am / Australia (New South Wales) / Money
by notacatperson / 03/01/2011 at 5:41am / United Kingdom (Plymouth) / Animals
by sunshine19217 / 01/18/2011 at 6:07pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, we were working with infant and adult CPR dummies. After practising flawless CPR on the adult dummy, I announced "And that's how you save someone." Then I tripped on the baby dummy and fell. My co-worker stood up and yelled out, "And that's how you kill a baby." FML
by DUMMIE / 03/03/2010 at 7:07pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I came home from a year long backpacking trip in Europe. During my absence my parents divorced, dad took the house and most of the money, sister is seven months pregnant, brother was arrested for statutory rape, and my mom pawned all my stuff to buy booze to "cope." Oh, and my fish died. FML
by Anonymous / 12/28/2009 at 7:08am / United States (Washington) / Holidays
by Anonymous / 12/18/2009 at 3:27pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by alltern8ive / 11/09/2009 at 12:05am / United States (Louisiana) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/31/2009 at 3:40pm / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Health
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was fired from my job because I, in my bosses words, "Abided by company policy to such an…