Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Ailacake

Search for a member

Ailacake

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 9 February 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 523
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Ailacake : Yikes. I'm no good with this kind of stuff.

Ailacake's page activity

Visits<b>softballlyric</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 4:44pm<b>HarperGirl</b> - the 01/06/2010 at 10:56am<b>Her_Majesty</b> - the 01/03/2010 at 3:13pm

Ailacake's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Ailacake's favorite FMLs

Today, I was driving back home with my family. I had to sit quietly for half an hour, all while pretending I didn't notice my sister playing with herself under the coat on her lap. FML

#18891781
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41068) - you deserved it (3369)

On 01/23/2012 at 5:36pm - intimacy - by jjs51 (man) - United States

Today, at university I was tearing off some "Help Japan" posters off the wall, figuring that they have been up for a while. Just as a group of visiting Japanese reporters passed by. FML

Today, I cleaned my toilet. I had forgotten it was white. FML

#18430180
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6489) - you deserved it (42517)

On 12/04/2011 at 7:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I sat on Santa's lap. He got an erection. FML

#18404973
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39839) - you deserved it (9428)

On 12/01/2011 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by pops up - United States (Missouri)

Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled "NINJA WAITRESS!" Every one at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML

#18390822
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34880) - you deserved it (5297)

On 11/30/2011 at 12:39am - work - by immy504 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because we watched a movie that Taylor Lautner was in, she claims they made special eye contact and they are destined to be together. FML

#18379052
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42513) - you deserved it (4461)

On 11/28/2011 at 8:33pm - love - by hot_shot (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend decided that vaginal, oral, and anal sex are starting to get boring. Let's just say that my armpit is now drenched in lube. I'm afraid of what he's going to want to try once he gets bored of this. FML

#18370889
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37899) - you deserved it (9330)

On 11/27/2011 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, at the Black Friday Sale, a fully grown man hit my 5 year old daughter for an Xbox. In anger, I punched the guy and gave him a bloody nose. I'm now banned from Best Buy, and my daughter has a concussion. FML

#18344232
497 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47545) - you deserved it (5787)

On 11/25/2011 at 3:20am - misc - by nicoreal89 - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend agreed to doing it doggy style. During it all, I pulled on her hair. I guess I pulled too hard, because when I let go, her face smacked straight into the bedside table. FML

#18220908
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12185) - you deserved it (40373)

On 11/11/2011 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by Henry - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, while cuddling up on the couch with my boyfriend, I asked him if this was his happy place too. He said, "Nah, it's in pussies." FML

#18165328
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28948) - you deserved it (9132)

On 11/05/2011 at 2:58pm - intimacy - by whatadisappointmnet (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. The lights kept on going on and off. Why? The lights are activated by "clap on, clap off." It killed the mood. FML

#18150434
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32925) - you deserved it (8869)

On 11/03/2011 at 7:48pm - intimacy - by KayleeXLoVe21 - United States (New York)

Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't go to work, she's actually been seeing another guy purely for sex, and each time he gives her money to "support her unemployment." Pretty sure that means I'm dating a prostitute. FML

#18037995
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49438) - you deserved it (3857)

On 10/21/2011 at 10:55am - intimacy - by prostitutes boyfriend - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, I went to the free clinic down the street to prove to my girlfriend I don't have any STDs so that we can finally have sex. Turns out I have one. FML

#17979790
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17973) - you deserved it (49166)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:30am - intimacy - by happybudiess - United States

Today, my brother in law got into a fight with my husband. My pregnant sister was yelling at her husband to stop beating my husband up. When I came into the room, I asked why they were fighting. You'll never guess who the real father of my sister's baby is. FML

#17977094
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63934) - you deserved it (3198)

On 10/13/2011 at 7:20pm - love - by Good sister (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, after getting dumped by my boyfriend, I tried to find comfort in one of my closest friends. He embraced me while I struggled against tears, and after a few moments of silence said, "Hey, you know what? I would fuck you anytime. Anytime." FML

#17973250
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32937) - you deserved it (9110)

On 10/13/2011 at 3:19am - intimacy - by scewable (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: