I find it hard to sympathise with those who bring misfortune upon themselves and refuse accountability.
Today, my parents decided they won't pay for college because of a Fox News story that said higher education "makes you liberal." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21982) - you totally deserved it (1232)
On 02/18/2010 at 8:20am - love - by merse - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I found out why my five year old has been throwing tantrums while shopping. It turns out my ex-husband has been paying her three dollars for every public tantrum she throws. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19779) - you totally deserved it (1697)
On 02/09/2010 at 12:53pm - kids - by inthedark (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27590) - you totally deserved it (3963)
On 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, in Burger King, I was leaning against the railing looking at the menu. I saw an old man using the rail to walk, so I got out of the way. He ran his hand across my back and said "You're so cute, I'd like to take you home and lock you in my basement naked so you can't leave" and walked out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35822) - you totally deserved it (1491)
On 08/21/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Dakota)
Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36526) - you totally deserved it (3801)
On 08/14/2009 at 12:57pm - kids - by ohgod (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I fractured my knuckle at the gym. My girlfriend offered to drive me to Urgent Care. As I threw my gym bag in the car, my keys flew out of the bag's pocket and hit her in the face. I spent the whole afternoon getting dirty looks from nurses because of my broken hand and her black eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39066) - you totally deserved it (2582)
On 08/14/2009 at 10:26am - love - by Anon (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I told my therapist that I suspected my partner was unfaithful, but I don't think he believed me. "What, did you find a membership card to a sex club in his wallet or something?" he asked. When I got home, I looked in my partner's wallet. I found a membership card to a sex club. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32200) - you totally deserved it (2257) - moderated and selected by the Jackass crew
On 07/30/2009 at 11:21am - intimacy - by thesockmancometh (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my 8 year old little sister said "f you" to my mom. My mom thought I told her to say that and grounded me for a month. Later, my sister came up to me and said "Gotcha, bitch." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36300) - you totally deserved it (1854) - moderated and selected by the Jackass crew
On 07/30/2009 at 11:11am - kids - by Toaster (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I discovered my 18 year old son has been peeing on the carpet when he is too lazy to get out of bed in the morning and blaming it on the cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50175) - you totally deserved it (4230)
On 07/24/2009 at 3:04am - kids - by tony (man) - United States (California)
Today, I woke up from the worst nightmare I've ever had. After tearfully explaining to my boyfriend, in detail, how bad this dream was, he told me to "put on my big girl panties" and make him breakfast. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31260) - you totally deserved it (8367)
On 07/24/2009 at 2:40am - love - by vanguardwiley (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was chatting with an amazing guy online. He was perfect for me. After five hours he told me he loved me and I said it back. So than we decided to trade nudes. I sent mine. Within two seconds my niece calls, laughing her ass off, telling me how weird my birthmark is. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7321) - you totally deserved it (56151)
On 07/03/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by Uriah (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, the cops showed up to check out a child abuse complaint, I then had to spend an hour explaining that I had given my son a suppository. The neighbors heard him sobbing hysterically "Daddy, why did you put that in my butt? It hurts." My neighbor had heard and thought I was raping my son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56546) - you totally deserved it (2423)
On 06/24/2009 at 5:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend sent me a naked picture of herself and I wish she hadn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20007) - you totally deserved it (47613)
On 06/16/2009 at 9:44pm - intimacy - by MisterSeth (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I sprained my wrist playing Guitar Hero. The ER doctor called all of his coworkers in to hear my story. They all laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10866) - you totally deserved it (28124)
On 06/16/2009 at 12:43pm - misc - by Slash (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40259) - you totally deserved it (6435)
On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)
