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Aerius's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 10/18/2010 at 12:01pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend because he's been working extra hard these last two months. I went to his house only to find him in bed with another girl. Standing there, with fifteen roses in my hands, all he could say was, "Thank you, can you put them in a vase?" FML
by Anonymous / 10/18/2010 at 10:24am / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Intimacy
by louise. / 10/18/2010 at 5:06am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
Today, I'm going on an 8 hour drive with my insane family. This usually means screaming arguments, graphic conversations about my dad's pubes, some karaoke, plenty of farting, some stale Pringles, and an obese golden retriever on my lap the entire time. Arizona, here we come. FML
by fmmlll / 10/18/2010 at 4:56am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, at my new job, I was answering the phone and said "Hello Cafe Thirty, how may I help you?" The man on the other line said "Don't you mean Old Town Cafe?" Cafe Thirty was my old job. I now work at Old Town Cafe. The man on the other line was my boss. FML
by andibartle / 10/18/2010 at 12:39am / United States (Oregon) / Work
Today, my girlfriend and I were making fun of a photo album on Facebook containing pictures of two friends who just got engaged. I jokingly asked her to marry me. She said yes. We have been dating for two months. She's not in on the joke. FML
by jfranklin / 10/17/2010 at 9:39pm / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 10/17/2010 at 8:27pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, I discovered that instead of being a harmless way to relax after a rough day, parking in an empty lot apparently means you are either dealing drugs or want to commit suicide. I was detained, my car was searched and I was grilled about my happiness. Great stress relief, eh? FML
by takeitandrun / 10/17/2010 at 7:38pm / United States (Colorado) / Transportation
by JustCantWin / 10/17/2010 at 1:08pm / United States (South Carolina) / Love
by Lauren Smith / 10/17/2010 at 12:52pm / United States (California) / Kids
by Ashley Marshburn / 10/17/2010 at 9:55am / United States (North Carolina) / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/17/2010 at 1:55am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
Today, my car door and window were broken when a thief broke into my car. Cost to repair the damage? $600. Increase to my car insurance premiums? $40 a month. What'd they steal from my car? A $0.98 chocolate chip cookie. FML
by Anonymous / 10/16/2010 at 5:54pm / United States (Florida) / Transportation
Today, I went to see Jackass 3 in 3D. While the previews were playing, some guy sitting next to me leaned over and began telling me what happens in every scene, completely ruining the movie for me. He tried to get my number afterwards. FML
- Today, while I was watching TV, my boyfriend took my unicorn pillow pet and made it hump my arm. I… Today, my boyfriend came over so that we could have some "fun". It turns out, his idea of foreplay… Today, the guy I've been seeing bought me a nice bottle of wine and cooked dinner for me. Later, we…