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Aerius's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 10/20/2010 at 3:11am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Kids
Today, I met my roommate for the first time. I walked in the door to see him in full Roman gladiator gear, screaming at the computer because he lost 18 knights. He also told me he wakes up every 3 hours to make sure his army is still intact. FML
by Anonymous / 10/20/2010 at 3:00am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was casually looking through my girlfriend's phone while she got ready, though she made me promise not to. To my confusion, I discovered that she had me listed as 'Saturday' in her contacts. There was also a Thursday, Friday and Sunday listed. I only ever see her on Saturdays. FML
by iprobablyhaveherpes / 10/20/2010 at 12:47am / Australia (Western Australia) / Love
Today, I went to the doctor's for the third time in a week for a huge growth under my jaw. I have seen an urgent care doctor, an emergency room doctor and an ear, nose and throat specialist who all gave me different diagnoses. I've so far spent $300. FML
by Anonymous / 10/20/2010 at 12:41am / United States (Texas) / Health
Today, I realized the benefits at Burger King are better than at my company. I'm an engineer, have three degrees, speak three languages fluently, and work at a multi-billion dollar company. The guy flipping burgers has better health care and more corporate 401k contributions than I do. FML
by engineerdude91 / 10/19/2010 at 11:01pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work
by lookslikeaboyapparently / 10/19/2010 at 5:23pm / United Kingdom (Falkirk) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/19/2010 at 3:40pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by moe / 10/19/2010 at 3:15pm / United States (Ohio) / Money
Today, I found myself crying in the bathroom because I started to feel lonely and depressed. My mother came into the bathroom, hearing me cry and gave me an hour long speech about what a beautiful human being I am... And to not forget to lose weight. FML
by Anonymous / 10/19/2010 at 1:32pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/19/2010 at 5:07am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I learned I was adopted and that my parents had died in a car accident when I was really young. My girlfriend was sitting next to me when I got the news, and several hours later broke up with me in a text stating, "I don't want to be with someone who doesn't have real parents." FML
by losingit / 10/19/2010 at 12:30am / United States (California) / Love
Today, in my college class, our teacher asked us what we wanted to do when we get out of college. I guess being a U.S. Marine gets you a lecture for the whole class to hear that I'm a war hungry pig, and should get a real job that requires a brain. My job field is Aircraft repair. FML
by S3R1AL K1LL3R X / 10/19/2010 at 12:21am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I slipped and sprained my ankle while shopping for a present for my husband, who later came home and tripped over my elevated leg, hurting my ankle again. Now I have an excruciating sprain, and a spouse who's furious at me because "I shouldn't have tried to surprise him." FML
by Anonymous / 10/18/2010 at 7:28pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love
Today, my doctor confirmed that the extreme pain I've been experiencing is due to a kidney stone. My friend decided this was the time to tell me that passing a kidney stone is the male equivalent of child birth. Hello even more pain. FML
by bjevilcat2 / 10/18/2010 at 2:02pm / United States / Health
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was fired from my job because I, in my bosses words, "Abided by company policy to such an…