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Aerius's favorite FMLs
Today, after a heated debate with my friend on whether blondes are naturally stupid, I convinced her that I'm actually quite intelligent, and poured myself a glass of juice in victory. After finishing the glass, instead of returning the bottle back to the refrigerator, I put it in the cupboard. FML
by Blondie / 10/22/2010 at 4:37pm / United States (Maryland) / Love
Today, my co-worker insisted there must be an underlying, romantic reason for why I spend so much time teaching him everything, and that I didn't mean it when I told him that's what I'm paid to do. I'm actually supposed to train this guy for three weeks. Two more weeks to go. FML
by Anonymous / 10/22/2010 at 6:57am / Singapore / Work
Today, I was going to my first job interview since I was laid off. About 10 yards from the door, I felt a sharp pain in my side and something in my pocket. It turned out to be a knife in my side, and a mugger robbing me because I looked rich. I haven't had any money in months, and missed the interview. FML
by Anonymous / 10/22/2010 at 12:00am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
by Anonymous / 10/21/2010 at 10:25pm / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 10/21/2010 at 6:04pm / United States (New York) / Geek
Today, I got pulled over by a state trooper for speeding. When he saw I had something in my pocket, he began to ask if it was a weapon. After arguing for a few minutes I was put in handcuffs. I was too embarrassed to pull the tampon out my pocket. FML
by Victoria / 10/21/2010 at 2:10pm / United States (Georgia) / Transportation
Today, I flashed my boobs at my boyfriend's boss. My boyfriend was wearing tan pants and a black sweater. His boss was wearing black pants and a tan sweater. From 100 feet away they looked the same until my boyfriend came behind me wanting to know what I was doing. FML
by Anonymous / 10/21/2010 at 1:33pm / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy
Today, I was on Skype with a guy I really like, in the living room. My dad saw that I was on video chat, got undressed, right down to his bright green y-fronts, and then started dancing behind me. My crush saw it all. FML
by maddiee. / 10/21/2010 at 11:20am / Indonesia (Jakarta Raya) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was walking down my very steep basement stairs when I fell and rolled all the way down but luckily I didn't hurt anything. While walking back up around the very last stair, my cat jumped out on me, causing me to roll all the way back down. FML
by catattack78 / 10/21/2010 at 10:48am / United States (Maryland) / Health
by unlucky / 10/21/2010 at 9:55am / United Kingdom (Swindon) / Transportation
Today, I found out that I have a gluten allergy. What this basically means is that I can't eat anything with wheat in it; bread, pasta, cake, you name it. I am Italian, this basically limits me from eating any of the awesome food my family makes almost every night. Here I come plain rice. FML
by mook05 / 10/20/2010 at 10:04pm / United States / Love
Today, my dad got a new phone and put me on speed dial. I have received several voice mails from him accidentally dialed. They are from him riding the train, in a meeting, having lunch, and, most recently, him taking a monstrous dump. FML
by Anonymous / 10/20/2010 at 6:22pm / United States (Illinois) / Geek
by rockefoe / 10/20/2010 at 2:41pm / United States (California) / Love
- Today, my boyfriend wanted to show me that he listened to me yesterday: I said that I loved unusual… Today, I’m in Thailand and I met a monk. The conversation was so deep and interesting that, without… Today, my boyfriend whispered to me, “I’m so tired of these fucking mosquitos.” When I asked why he…