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Aerius's favorite FMLs
Today, I went to the library to pick up Romeo and Juliet, for my English class. After looking around for half an hour, I asked the librarian. "I couldn't find Shakespeare anywhere. Where could I find him?" She quickly replied "He's dead", giggled to herself, and went back to her work. FML
by skippy_liz / 10/26/2010 at 3:48am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, while at work, I was asked to see my boss. I was informed that the company would be laying off 20 people, and that I was one of them. I was told I could finish off the week, then was sent back to work. Twenty minutes later, my boss walked around and handed us all Christmas party invitations. FML
by robthebuilder / 10/26/2010 at 2:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, I felt really depressed so I decided to go to McDonald's, get a sundae and cheer myself up. I got pulled over by the cops on the way, and was given a ticket for an expired registration. McDonald's was closed. FML
by Anonymous / 10/25/2010 at 10:43pm / United States / Transportation
Today, one of my coworkers called to remind me about the annual costume day at work this morning. I dressed as Pocahontas. There is no annual costume day. I was fired for dressing inappropriately in front of customers. FML
by pocahontas / 10/25/2010 at 9:47pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work
by anonymous / 10/25/2010 at 5:02pm / United States / Intimacy
by shiznit / 10/25/2010 at 3:05pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by leve80paladin / 10/25/2010 at 11:06am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was on MSN when the conversation died. So I lied and told them I had to go get ready for a party, and that everyone was expecting me there. I spent the rest of the night playing The Sims. FML
by Anonymous / 10/25/2010 at 3:21am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
by anon / 10/25/2010 at 1:42am / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy
Today, I returned from vacation. Because of rain, I spent 3 days sitting in a hotel room, watching a TV with bad reception. I'm now less relaxed that if I'd have just stayed home, because that wouldn't have cost me $500, and my TV has more than 15 channels. So much for my first vacation in 5 years. FML
by not_relaxed / 10/25/2010 at 12:22am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/24/2010 at 8:36pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
Today, I was in lying in bed with my boyfriend while he was asleep. He is going to school to be a doctor, and it appears that he says anatomical terms while asleep. My boyfriend can make me feel stupid in his sleep. FML
by Anonymous / 10/24/2010 at 7:17pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend making breakfast. I thought he was making it for me, so I sat at the table. When he walked over with his plate, he said, "Oh, I didn't know you were here!" I'd slept in the same bed with him last night. FML
by Moeswifey / 10/24/2010 at 1:11pm / United States / Love
by anonymous / 10/24/2010 at 12:14pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I was selling personalised stockings at work. When handing a customer's order over to her, which had no name on, I joked, "Oooh this is a bit mysterious". She replied, "Actually, it's in memory of the baby I miscarried earlier this year." FML
by Anonymous / 10/24/2010 at 9:06am / United Kingdom (Staffordshire) / Work
- Today, my boyfriend told me "don't worry, someday you'll be mature as well." By this, he meant that… Today, I had the good fortune of finding a seat on the bus, not the norm in Peru. Several minutes… Today, my girlfriend and I were getting frisky. She got my cock out, stopped, and told me it looked…