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Aerius's favorite FMLs
by mugged / 03/20/2011 at 4:29pm / United States (New York) / Animals
Today, my wife of seven years told me that she doesn't trust me with dog-sitting her dog while she leaves to spend Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's with her family. She ended up calling someone she "trusts" to take care of her dog while I spend the holidays by myself. FML
by nottrustworthy / 11/18/2010 at 1:44am / United States (California) / Animals
by Anonymous / 11/08/2010 at 5:55am / Turkey (Istanbul) / Animals
by anonymous / 11/06/2010 at 6:37pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love
Today, my brother flicked a huge bug onto my foot, making me freak out and fall into my outdoors pool. The water was so cold that I started hyperventilating. My brother left to "get help". I finally managed to get out, and found him watching TV. FML
by Anonymous / 11/06/2010 at 7:45am / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals
by iheartexes / 11/06/2010 at 12:52am / United States (California) / Love
Today, at work, there is a rumor going around that I'm gay. Somewhat curious at how did this start, I asked a co-worker. He said I was seen 3 days ago at a mall holding hands with someone who looks like a guy from behind. Three days ago, I was at the mall with my girlfriend. FML
by lucki / 10/27/2010 at 2:50am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by Anonymous / 10/27/2010 at 2:12am / United States (Illinois) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/27/2010 at 2:01am / United States (New Jersey) / Love
Today, I spent all day handing out flyers advertising my services as a psychic. I got only one call. The caller wanted to inform me that I had misspelt the word "psychic" on my flyer. She was right. FML
by Anonymous / 10/27/2010 at 1:58am / United States / Work
Today, after having the worst night of my life, my boss chewing me out and acid reflux all morning, I went to the snack machine at work to get the only thing that makes me happy, Reese's PB cups. I had just enough money to buy the very last one in the machine, and it got stuck. FML
by zzzgrady / 10/26/2010 at 10:46pm / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to the dentist. I had to get a tooth removed. In the middle of the procedure, the power went out. I had to sit there for an hour to wait for it to come back on. The anesthetic wore off before he started working on me again. FML
by Anonymous / 10/26/2010 at 4:34pm / United States (Michigan) / Health
Today, I had a date with a guy I've had a crush on for 6 years. Things got heated when we got back to his place, but he had trouble getting the condom on. As soon he got it on, he came. I told him it was ok, I'd help him get hard again. He said, "No thanks. I'm good." FML
by Deidle-dee / 10/26/2010 at 12:37pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was told that all the data on my laptop is unrecoverable after my hard drive crashed. I have been charged £300 for them to tell me this. Feeling sorry for myself, I wrapped myself up in a blanket and turned on my fan radiator as it's so cold... and promptly set my carpet on fire. FML
by Anonymous / 10/26/2010 at 9:50am / United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found that windshield wipers on my car had been stolen. I bought a pair of new ones for around $10 but when I was trying to put them in place, I failed to hold a wiper holder and it slipped down on the windshield, causing cracks. Now I have to replace the windshield which will cost approximately $150. FML
by Anonymous / 10/26/2010 at 7:02am / Ukraine (Cherkas'ka Oblast') / Money
- Today, I’m a French teacher in Ukraine, and in class we were debating gun legislation. In order to… Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the… Today, I’m on a mission in Africa. My company driver is so old, deaf and half blind that I have to…