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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
It’s in the can
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Today, I was talking on the phone with my crush. After an hour of talking she told me, "If you were half as hot as you sound over the phone, I'd date you immediately." Maybe I should give up on love and start a phone sex line. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23256) - you deserved it (1688)
On 09/19/2012 at 2:24am - intimacy - by annonymous - United States
Today, I got fired for saving my company upwards of $6,000. I'm as confused as you are. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20846) - you deserved it (1295)
On 09/17/2012 at 6:46am - work - by Grindwhore - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, in the middle of what had to be the most amazing blowjob I've ever had in my life, my girlfriend had a mental breakdown and began weeping on top of my cock. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20348) - you deserved it (5241)
On 09/13/2012 at 8:06pm - intimacy - by blueballs (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It would have been a lot sexier had our chihuahua not decided to rim his ass as he thrust into me, causing him to break out into a case of the giggles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16939) - you deserved it (4047)
On 09/13/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, at work, I was talking to a Scottish woman when my coworker and I both told her we were also Scottish. To this she replied, "We Scottish people get around." I then said, "Tell me about it, I'm one of four siblings from my dad, he definitely gets around." She was talking about travel. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4802) - you deserved it (12219)
On 09/13/2012 at 1:19am - work - by jcedarholm (woman) - United States (California)
Today, after what I thought was an amazing sex session with my boyfriend, he let out a big sigh and told me I need to watch more porn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19475) - you deserved it (4024)
On 09/11/2012 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by apparently inexperienced (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was out shopping, when I noticed a teenage girl with a double stroller picking up a pack of condoms. I couldn't help but mutter that it was a little late for those. A guy who must have been her boyfriend then stormed over and beat the shit out of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11330) - you deserved it (47389)
On 09/10/2012 at 1:52pm - intimacy - by killmenow - United States (Washington)
Today, I had my boss over for dinner. Knowing that I was angling for a promotion, my fifteen-year-old son spent the dinner uttering lines such as "What's the point of showering before bed?" and "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." My boss was not impressed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14933) - you deserved it (2851)
On 08/31/2012 at 7:16pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, while I was at work, a coworker began ranting about his theory that the government is going to create a disease that sterilises everyone, and use the antidote to control the population. I was just trying to take a crap in the stall next to him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12484) - you deserved it (1006)
On 08/29/2012 at 3:19pm - work - by Pooping - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I found out why my District Manager won't promote me to store manager; his wife thinks he's having an affair with me. If he promotes me, she will take that as evidence of the affair, and then will threaten to divorce him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17059) - you deserved it (1007)
On 08/27/2012 at 8:09pm - work - by Mandi (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I'm apparently so desperate for companionship that my body has subconsciously synced my period with the girl who works in the cubicle adjacent to mine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11463) - you deserved it (1569)
On 08/27/2012 at 2:20pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20945) - you deserved it (3095)
On 08/22/2012 at 12:33pm - intimacy - by Confused (woman) - Spain (Madrid)
Today, the man who tried to mug me sent me a friend request on Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22997) - you deserved it (1099)
On 08/22/2012 at 2:01am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I got into a car wreck that was clearly the other driver's fault. When the police showed up, it turned out that they were old High School friends. The cop let her go without a citation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19008) - you deserved it (847)
On 08/22/2012 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my vegan girlfriend refused to give me a blowjob because, apparently, blowjobs aren't vegan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25220) - you deserved it (6389)
On 08/22/2012 at 12:19am - intimacy - by ihateveganism (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Monday 20 May 2013
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