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Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
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Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25507) - you deserved it (58792)
On 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm - misc - by LadyChristina25 - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, my dad asked me to move a potted plant from one side of the yard to the other. It looked like a very heavy pot, so I heaved it up with all my might. Turns out it was one of those heavy-looking ones that are actually light plastic. I fell over backwards and dumped dirt into my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35753) - you deserved it (13643)
On 06/04/2009 at 2:27am - misc - by ether10 (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I allowed my five-year old daughter to paint my fingernails during a living-room "picnic" we were having. A while later I got called back in to work for an emergency meeting. When I arrived at the meeting I noticed my fingernails were still neon-green. I am a 40-year old man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39672) - you deserved it (11909)
On 06/03/2009 at 1:40pm - kids - by psychortiz (man) - United States (California)
Today, I woke up with a splitting headache. Then someone at work wouldn't stop whistling loudly and it was getting on my nerves. "Can the dick who is whistling please stop?" I asked. It was the general manager of my department. I'm still on probation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9583) - you deserved it (33858)
On 06/03/2009 at 6:31am - work - by whatzthehell (woman) - Kuwait
Today, I was working and some woman wanted to pay with a credit card. It already had a picture on the card so you don't have to ask for i.d., and just glancing at it I asked, "Oh, is this your husband's card?" She then replied, "No, that's just me with glasses and short hair." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13068) - you deserved it (31938)
On 06/03/2009 at 2:50am - work - by em (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I called Tech Support because the computer program wouldn't let me open files for my online classes. After an hour, and being walked through the downloading process multiple times. There was a pause and he said "You're a F*ing idiot." and hung up. It still won't work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40022) - you deserved it (16589)
On 06/02/2009 at 4:42am - misc - by holliefall (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML
I agree, your life sucks (31299) - you deserved it (49263)
On 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Cail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, three women came into my work and one was wearing a shirt with a rainbow that said, "We are everywhere". I had just gotten what it was referring to and when I greeted them I ended up saying "Hi gays!" instead of the standard "Hi guys". FML
I agree, your life sucks (15616) - you deserved it (36530)
On 06/01/2009 at 6:46am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was watching Harry Potter. When all the students at Hogwarts started to clap at one point, I started clapping myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17791) - you deserved it (45246)
On 05/30/2009 at 7:48pm - misc - by whoahshloann (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I tried to imitate Mary Poppins by jumping off a shed with an umbrella. I spent the next 3 hours in the emergency room. My leg is broken. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13504) - you deserved it (164265)
On 05/29/2009 at 11:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my mom was driving me somewhere. As we were driving she got mad at a motorcycle driver telling to "get the fuck off the road." In response, the driver decided to spit into my open window. His spit landed on my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42978) - you deserved it (2770)
On 05/25/2009 at 3:43am - misc - by hahahah111 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was at the mall blasting music. I was wearing a nice shirt, and had my iPod in my breast pocket. I noticed a cute girl smiling at me, so I smiled back and as she started to walk over, I turned down my music while smiling. It looked like I was rubbing my nipple. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23793) - you deserved it (51227)
On 05/20/2009 at 11:08pm - love - by zero_minded12 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was sitting at my college campus, there were good looking girls all around me and I was trying to catch their eye and smile, letting them know I'm available. A butterfly flew by me and I screamed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13913) - you deserved it (44701)
On 05/20/2009 at 8:11pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, me and my co-workers were playing with the Helium tank we got today. We were all giggling like little girls for the better half of 15 minutes. I don't know what is more sad, that a bunch of guys were sucking helium instead of working, or that the youngest guy in the group is 43. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36396) - you deserved it (10074)
On 05/20/2009 at 11:42am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was hanging out with a few of my friends, including an old ex-girlfriend and her current boyfriend of 5 years. When my ex, whose virginity I had taken years earlier, mentioned, "I had the iPhone first," without thinking, I immediately responded, "Well, I had YOU first." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14751) - you deserved it (69531)
On 05/20/2009 at 1:10am - intimacy - by Takuma (man) - United States (Texas)
Monday 20 May 2013
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