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I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, I was reading a book in bed when my dad came to check whether or not I was asleep. To avoid any conversation, I pretended that I was. Turns out he was just checking whether he and my mom could have sex while I was fast asleep. I couldn't plug my ears in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22046) - you deserved it (6805)
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he reached out onto my dressing table to grab the lube. He missed, and found the hand sanitizer instead. I'm not sure who is in more pain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36928) - you deserved it (6132)
On 01/19/2013 at 8:20am - intimacy - by tingles (woman) - United Kingdom (Solihull)
Today, my husband sent me a text before heading home from work. All it said was, "Need a fuck. Backed up to hell. You're about to shower face first in a fire hydrant." Love you too, hun. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22048) - you deserved it (3254)
On 01/18/2013 at 3:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a slap and then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25863) - you deserved it (10105) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/18/2013 at 6:39am - animals - by dormeur - Sent from mobile version
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got a clump of used toilet paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47680) - you deserved it (4451)
On 01/18/2013 at 5:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, when I asked my boss why my bonus was cut in half, he replied, "I have no idea what you really do." I'm the IT Manager. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23253) - you deserved it (1568)
On 01/18/2013 at 12:53am - money - by Anon - United States (Texas)
Today, my current boyfriend and my ex-boyfriend got into a fight about when my birthday is. They were both wrong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33884) - you deserved it (3644)
On 01/17/2013 at 9:06am - love - by EmberLove (woman) - United States
Today, I let my friend bleach my hair, which resulted in it falling out in clumps. I spent $150 at the beauty salon fixing it and cutting most of it off. I sent the pictures of my new hair to my friends, and I got the same reply from each and every one of them: "That better be a wig." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14185) - you deserved it (18581)
On 01/17/2013 at 2:53am - misc - by goodlord12 (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was having a conversation with my mother during which I described something as being pungent. She thought I had made up the word, so I grabbed the dictionary to show her that I hadn't. She then became enraged, threw the dictionary at my head and told me never to talk to her again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25357) - you deserved it (2372)
On 01/17/2013 at 1:38am - misc - by Mizzaroo - United States (Washington)
Today, I went on a run with my crush. She expressed how happy she was to have a decent running partner, because the last one kept complaining he thought he might throw up. We got to the top of the hill and I puked right in front of her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26288) - you deserved it (2921)
On 01/16/2013 at 7:53pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Hawaii)
Today, our company's owner's son took over. The first thing he did? Fire me. Why? He said my sales are down. I work in Public Relations. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25350) - you deserved it (1084)
On 01/16/2013 at 7:35pm - work - by itsjustwill - United States (Washington)
Today, while moving into my new place, I saw my new, elderly neighbor sitting on her porch. I cheerfully greeted her with, "Hello, how are you?" She simply rocked slowly in her chair and replied, "Just waiting to die." She was the most cheerful person I met all day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24431) - you deserved it (1506)
On 01/16/2013 at 6:22pm - misc - by Kallian - United States
Today, my girlfriend came back from visiting her family. She'd forgotten to take her pills, and decided to "catch up" by taking almost a week's worth of birth control and prescription pills. She's fine, but I had to convince the ER staff that she's not suicidal, just stupid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33530) - you deserved it (2883)
On 01/16/2013 at 1:26pm - health - by SF49 - United States
Today, I came home to find my girlfriend crying. Concerned, I quickly asked her what was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understand why her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet, and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now, but for entirely different reasons. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31166) - you deserved it (3351)
Today, I was the last person in line for going on the bus. Incidentally, I was right behind a guy way taller and wider than me. When he got on the bus, the bus driver immediately shut the door behind him. I was left outside chasing after the bus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25624) - you deserved it (1434)
On 01/16/2013 at 1:42am - misc - by Anonymous -
Monday 20 May 2013
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