Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

AdrastosArmor

Offline (the 09/07/2014 at 12:28am) | Search for a member

AdrastosArmor

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 22 April 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3919
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

AdrastosArmor's page activity

Visits<b>alicealiveordead</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 7:50am<b>Clam_igger</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 3:28pm<b>cooltatgar</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 5:40pm<b>lorellecaimyth</b> - the 05/27/2013 at 2:22am<b>Mornai</b> - the 05/03/2013 at 2:08pm<b>JohnBoyFsYL</b> - the 05/01/2013 at 5:11pm<b>NaomiOchoa</b> - the 03/27/2013 at 11:41pm<b>waffule365</b> - the 03/16/2013 at 7:04pm<b>theawkwardlife</b> - the 02/28/2013 at 7:19pm<b>whatismyusername</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 11:57pm<b>Wolvander88</b> - the 01/19/2013 at 10:11am<b>Feelsgood</b> - the 01/12/2013 at 6:26pm<b>firegirl1993</b> - the 01/11/2013 at 2:26am<b>BlitheNightmare</b> - the 01/09/2013 at 4:32am<b>BrettBeets</b> - the 01/06/2013 at 3:05am<b>DudeEvil</b> - the 01/05/2013 at 7:43pm<b>n3rdzgotskillz</b> - the 01/04/2013 at 7:13pm

AdrastosArmor's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of AdrastosArmor's badges

AdrastosArmor's favorite FMLs

Today, I was using a public bathroom when a woman backs in, pulls down her pants, and sits on my lap. Needless to say she didn't even notice I was there until I hyperventilated. FML

#2928893
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38600) - you deserved it (3947)

On 06/16/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by yourmom (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML

#2919658
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25773) - you deserved it (45835)

On 06/15/2009 at 7:18pm - intimacy - by kitkat545 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend. Suddenly he starts speaking gibberish. I ask what's wrong? He says, "I was just talking to my unicorn. He says you're pretty," and winks at me. What have we learned today? The person I like is a freak, and apparently unicorns are real. FML

#2829311
396 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61433) - you deserved it (11968)

On 06/12/2009 at 12:49pm - love - by unicorn (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mom walks into my room, with a serious look on her face asks me "When a man is getting it from behind, the man on top orgasms, but what happens to the man on bottom? Do you think he takes care of himself or what?" Hand motions were included. FML

#2736001
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78408) - you deserved it (5089)

On 06/09/2009 at 4:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a date with this really cute guy. He invited me over to make dinner at his place. Eventually we end up in his bedroom to have sex. He pulls down my panties and says, "You need to shave that shit." FML

#2734034
460 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51227) - you deserved it (64509)

On 06/09/2009 at 1:27am - intimacy - by lagirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML

#2508726
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36099) - you deserved it (61359)

On 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Cail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML

#2499488
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (118549) - you deserved it (6581)

On 06/01/2009 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by baron (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was walking down the sidewalk and heard a little girl ask her dad why I had blue hair. He said, "Sometimes drugs will make people do stupid things." FML

#2485875
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39556) - you deserved it (35926)

On 05/31/2009 at 11:12pm - misc - by bluehairedfreakgirl (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was lining a soccer field. I had the entire grid laid out, so I began to paint with a handheld cart. I finished the entire field without looking back once. I forgot to put paint in the cart. I walked around a field for an hour painting with air. FML

#2201893
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13611) - you deserved it (59018)

On 05/23/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by onlyme (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was lining a soccer field. I had the entire grid laid out, so I began to paint with a handheld cart. I finished the entire field without looking back once. I forgot to put paint in the cart. I walked around a field for an hour painting with air. FML

#2201893
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13611) - you deserved it (59018)

On 05/23/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by onlyme (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, while cleaning out a closet with my mother, I found a wish list from when I was five. On that list, I wished my parents would divorce. Not only did that seriously hurt my mom, but now she thinks I'm the devil because my wish came true. FML

#2165517
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44125) - you deserved it (11444)

On 05/21/2009 at 10:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I gave my 16 year old step daughter and her friends a lecture on respecting other people's privacy. Two hours later, I accidentally walked into her room without knocking. She and her friends were giving each other bikini waxes. Now her friends call me the hypocritical pervert. FML

#1885333
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13533) - you deserved it (72989)

On 05/12/2009 at 8:23pm - kids - by firewait (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to pick up my drunk mom at bar. While we were driving home she thanked me over and over again and then said "thank god you have no life!" FML

#1777144
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50726) - you deserved it (3905)

On 05/09/2009 at 12:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, my mother called me a bad son for not telling her "Happy Mother's Day". When I told her Mother's Day wasn't until the 10th, she said that I would have forgotten anyway. FML

#1749073
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50134) - you deserved it (2654)

On 05/08/2009 at 2:14pm - misc - by Aisu (man) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I left a party after drinking, and was soon pulled over. I frantically grabbed my mouthwash I keep for emergency situations to cover up the alcohol smell on my breath. I was given the breathalyzer almost immediately. I blew a 2.37. Apparently, alcohol is the main ingredient of Listerine. FML

#1550059
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28965) - you deserved it (266711)

On 05/02/2009 at 2:21am - health - by breathalizard (man) - United States (North Dakota)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: