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AdrastosArmor

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AdrastosArmor
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 22 April 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 2476
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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AdrastosArmor's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend. Suddenly he starts speaking gibberish. I ask what's wrong? He says, "I was just talking to my unicorn. He says you're pretty," and winks at me. What have we learned today? The person I like is a freak, and apparently unicorns are real. FML

#2829311
397 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56089) - you deserved it (10645)

On 06/12/2009 at 12:49pm - love - by unicorn (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mom walks into my room, with a serious look on her face asks me "When a man is getting it from behind, the man on top orgasms, but what happens to the man on bottom? Do you think he takes care of himself or what?" Hand motions were included. FML

#2736001
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76481) - you deserved it (4912)

On 06/09/2009 at 4:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a date with this really cute guy. He invited me over to make dinner at his place. Eventually we end up in his bedroom to have sex. He pulls down my panties and says, "You need to shave that shit." FML

#2734034
459 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47980) - you deserved it (60052)

On 06/09/2009 at 1:27am - intimacy - by lagirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML

#2508726
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31736) - you deserved it (49746)

On 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Cail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML

#2499488
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (105373) - you deserved it (4664)

On 06/01/2009 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by baron (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was walking down the sidewalk and heard a little girl ask her dad why I had blue hair. He said, "Sometimes drugs will make people do stupid things." FML

#2485875
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37971) - you deserved it (34994)

On 05/31/2009 at 11:12pm - misc - by bluehairedfreakgirl (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was lining a soccer field. I had the entire grid laid out, so I began to paint with a handheld cart. I finished the entire field without looking back once. I forgot to put paint in the cart. I walked around a field for an hour painting with air. FML

#2201893
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12780) - you deserved it (57245)

On 05/23/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by onlyme (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was lining a soccer field. I had the entire grid laid out, so I began to paint with a handheld cart. I finished the entire field without looking back once. I forgot to put paint in the cart. I walked around a field for an hour painting with air. FML

#2201893
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12780) - you deserved it (57245)

On 05/23/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by onlyme (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, while cleaning out a closet with my mother, I found a wish list from when I was five. On that list, I wished my parents would divorce. Not only did that seriously hurt my mom, but now she thinks I'm the devil because my wish came true. FML

#2165517
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38488) - you deserved it (9056)

On 05/21/2009 at 10:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I gave my 16 year old step daughter and her friends a lecture on respecting other people's privacy. Two hours later, I accidentally walked into her room without knocking. She and her friends were giving each other bikini waxes. Now her friends call me the hypocritical pervert. FML

#1885333
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12369) - you deserved it (70153)

On 05/12/2009 at 8:23pm - kids - by firewait (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to pick up my drunk mom at bar. While we were driving home she thanked me over and over again and then said "thank god you have no life!" FML

#1777144
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48964) - you deserved it (3731)

On 05/09/2009 at 12:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, my mother called me a bad son for not telling her "Happy Mother's Day". When I told her Mother's Day wasn't until the 10th, she said that I would have forgotten anyway. FML

#1749073
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46811) - you deserved it (2422)

On 05/08/2009 at 2:14pm - misc - by Aisu (man) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I left a party after drinking, and was soon pulled over. I frantically grabbed my mouthwash I keep for emergency situations to cover up the alcohol smell on my breath. I was given the breathalyzer almost immediately. I blew a 2.37. Apparently, alcohol is the main ingredient of Listerine. FML

#1550059
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21114) - you deserved it (220861)

On 05/02/2009 at 2:21am - health - by breathalizard (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I spotted one of my friends using the ATM outside our school's university center. I crept up behind him, grabbed his shoulders abruptly, and shouted in my best deep man-voice, "Give me all your money!" Turned out to be a poor, unsuspecting freshman. He gave me his money. FML

#1242967
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9796) - you deserved it (64128)

On 04/22/2009 at 10:22pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, at the rehearsal for my wedding, my mother told my bride's mother to fuck off. FML

#1072377
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72102) - you deserved it (3480)

On 04/17/2009 at 11:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)



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