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I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, after I got off work, as I walked into the house, I noticed something running across the floor towards me and out of complete terror I kicked it halfway across my living room, not knowing what it was. Turns out it was my roommate's new puppy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9524) - you deserved it (33489)
On 09/23/2010 at 7:01am - misc - by nackpattywhackgiveadogabone (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, at dinner, my grandmother informed us that my cousin's newborn baby has been having seizures. My verbal filter did not switch on in time and I replied, "It's not a seizure if you're shaking it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6547) - you deserved it (27905)
On 09/09/2010 at 4:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was in the airport after saying goodbye to my boyfriend who left for three months. Walking back to my car, I saw a young couple kissing passionately. If that wasn't bad enough, the guy then picked his girlfriend up, spun her round in the air and her foot kicked me square in the jaw. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29773) - you deserved it (2782)
On 09/01/2010 at 9:50am - love - by ouch (woman) - Belgium (Brabant)
Today, my new girlfriend, with whom I have not had sex, showed me her collection of sex toys. She picked up one approximately the size of my forearm and said "This one is my favorite" now I'm scared for her to see me naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34268) - you deserved it (3324)
On 08/27/2010 at 5:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I swerved off the road and hit a tree in order to avoid hitting a dog that came out of nowhere. Don't worry, I didn't hit him. The person behind me did, though. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28911) - you deserved it (4022)
On 08/24/2010 at 8:48pm - animals - by vstan (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was showing my three year-old that going down the deck steps are perfectly safe. At the top, I tripped on my shoe and fell head first down every step. I now have five stitches and a three year old who won't go anywhere near the deck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17614) - you deserved it (5588)
On 08/12/2010 at 9:06pm - misc - by Diana (woman) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I was babysitting for my mum's friend. I put her little boy on my knee, and he kept pulling at my top. I asked him "are you hungry?" He replied "No, I want to see your titties." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32954) - you deserved it (9651)
On 08/04/2010 at 6:25am - intimacy - by Embarressed... (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)
Today, I discovered that my cleaning lady steals valuables from me, and covered it up by saying that "the vacuum must've eaten it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28102) - you deserved it (5010)
On 07/08/2010 at 12:51am - misc - by lauren (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, after spending a great evening with the guy I really like, he dropped me off outside my house. When he pulled into my driveway, his lights shone onto my drunken mum taking the garbage out in nothing but her black panties. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29162) - you deserved it (2377)
On 07/03/2010 at 2:57pm - misc - by Emily - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my boyfriend's mother screamed at me for half an hour, calling me a slut because she found a black lacy thong in my boyfriend's bed. I didn't have the heart to tell her it wasn't mine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53132) - you deserved it (6955)
On 07/01/2010 at 9:07pm - intimacy - by slut (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my boyfriend's mother screamed at me for half an hour, calling me a slut because she found a black lacy thong in my boyfriend's bed. I didn't have the heart to tell her it wasn't mine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53132) - you deserved it (6955)
On 07/01/2010 at 9:07pm - intimacy - by slut (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I wanted to impress my girlfriend with a cool fire breathing trick I learned online, and ended up burning half her room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7767) - you deserved it (51503)
On 06/09/2010 at 12:41am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)
Today, my very handsome, fit, Russian boyfriend tried to make me feel better about being a little overweight by telling me, "It's okay, you're American, everyone expects you to be fat." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26540) - you deserved it (10980)
On 05/22/2010 at 7:24pm - love - by ChubbyAmerican (woman) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, my mom bought me some expensive Japanese candy. I opened it, and saw that each chewy candy was wrapped in a thin, hard to peel off wrapper. After trying to get each wrapper off, I determined they were unopen-able and threw them away. I then read the box, saying the wrappers were edible. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4822) - you deserved it (36395)
On 05/20/2010 at 8:37am - misc - by Candy - United States (Maryland)
Today, I finally worked up the courage to talk to this hot guy in my law school contracts class. His response? "I'm no fashion expert, but I don't think you're supposed to wear purple underwear with white pants. Not that it matters, though, because your zipper is wide open." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13539) - you deserved it (29787)
On 05/18/2010 at 1:22am - love - by Dana422 (woman) - United States (New York)
Monday 17 June 2013
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