AdrastosArmor

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Offline (the 11/09/2014 at 4:34am)

AdrastosArmor

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 22 April 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 12075
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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AdrastosArmor's page activity

Visits<b>theawkwardlife</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 8:07pm<b>Clam_igger</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 6:58am<b>alicealiveordead</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 7:50am<b>cooltatgar</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 5:40pm<b>lorellecaimyth</b> - the 05/27/2013 at 2:22am<b>Mornai</b> - the 05/03/2013 at 2:08pm<b>JohnBoyFsYL</b> - the 05/01/2013 at 5:11pm<b>NaomiOchoa</b> - the 03/27/2013 at 11:41pm<b>waffule365</b> - the 03/16/2013 at 7:04pm<b>whatismyusername</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 11:57pm<b>Wolvander88</b> - the 01/19/2013 at 10:11am<b>Feelsgood</b> - the 01/12/2013 at 6:26pm<b>firegirl1993</b> - the 01/11/2013 at 2:26am<b>BlitheNightmare</b> - the 01/09/2013 at 4:32am<b>BrettBeets</b> - the 01/06/2013 at 3:05am<b>DudeEvil</b> - the 01/05/2013 at 7:43pm<b>n3rdzgotskillz</b> - the 01/04/2013 at 7:13pm

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AdrastosArmor's favorite FMLs

Today, our dog jumped on the bed while my fiancé and I were having sex, and let out the most horrific fart. My fiancé, like a gentleman, held my nose closed while he continued banging me. FML

by cremyfrozentreat / 03/10/2013 at 9:40am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I received an email from my friend in South Africa, with whom I'll soon be staying for 2 months. She was telling me that she had bought me a few things so I would be prepared for my stay. What did she buy me? A taser and some pepper-spray. FML

by Anonymous / 03/09/2013 at 7:40pm / United Kingdom (East Sussex) / Miscellaneous

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

by je_regrette_tout / 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm / Intimacy

Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML

by Anonymous / 03/09/2013 at 2:02am / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend's daughter asked me what would happen if she chose to stop urinating for two weeks. She wanted to know whether it would kill her or just start coming out of her mouth. She's 17-years old, and was deadly serious. FML

by Anonymous / 03/08/2013 at 8:11pm / Argentina (Distrito Federal) / Kids

Today, my family threw me my 21st birthday party. My grandma's gift turned out to be a pack of condoms. "Not that you'll ever get to use them," she said, turning and walking off, cackling maniacally. Now I remember why I never talk to the old crone. FML

by fuck you, gran / 03/08/2013 at 7:38pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I showed my wife an article about how frequent orgasms can prevent prostate cancer, as well as increase both partners' overall health. She replied that she wouldn't judge me if I masturbated, as long as I don't use porn. FML

by marriage/celibacy/synonymity / 03/08/2013 at 6:36pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my boyfriend and one of his friends have been having sex with each other. His excuse? "She's my best friend, we do this all the time." I have been dating him for over a year. FML

by Alexandra / 03/05/2013 at 3:17pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, I went to my daughter's room with clean laundry. I found her lying on her bed with a hand down her pants, totally zoned out and staring blankly at the Justin Bieber poster on her wall. FML

by parental failure / 03/03/2013 at 12:03pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked outside to this guy attempting to steal my bike. When I asked him what he was doing he calmly replied, "I'm a bike inspector. You hooked your chain all wrong! This time is a warning; next time it'll be a ticket!" He then threw his full, opened Pepsi can at me. FML

by Chelsea / 02/27/2013 at 5:39pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 20-year-old daughter staggered into my room at two in the morning, drunker than I ever thought a person could be, screaming for me to make pancakes for her. FML

by Ugh / 02/27/2013 at 4:42pm / United Kingdom / Kids

Today, I asked my boyfriend where he went to lunch. He said he went to Wendy's. I teased him and asked if he got tired of eating burgers and Frosty's all the time. His response? "What? No, I mean at Wendy's. You know, the hot girl from work?" FML

by Anonymous / 02/27/2013 at 12:36pm / United States / Love

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML

by Frostbitten / 02/26/2013 at 10:00pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, I was at my friend's house, when she commented that her dog's fur kept getting tangled because of its length. I reached over to tickle his tummy, felt a big tangled knot and agreed that he needed a good grooming. Then I realized what I'd grabbed wasn't fur. FML

by Puppylove / 02/26/2013 at 1:09pm / United Kingdom / Animals

Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterward tried to comfort me by saying there've been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML

by laprochainefoisjerestealamaison / 02/25/2013 at 2:47pm / France (Languedoc-Roussillon) / Health