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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31253) - you deserved it (1862)
Today, my boyfriend's daughter asked me what would happen if she chose to stop urinating for two weeks. She wanted to know whether it would kill her or just start coming out of her mouth. She's 17-years old, and was deadly serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27258) - you deserved it (1856)
On 03/08/2013 at 8:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Argentina (Distrito Federal)
Today, my family threw me my 21st birthday party. My grandma's gift turned out to be a pack of condoms. "Not that you'll ever get to use them," she said, turning and walking off, cackling maniacally. Now I remember why I never talk to the old crone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22663) - you deserved it (3150)
On 03/08/2013 at 7:38pm - misc - by fuck you, gran (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I showed my wife an article about how frequent orgasms can prevent prostate cancer, as well as increase both partners' overall health. She replied that she wouldn't judge me if I masturbated, as long as I don't use porn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27268) - you deserved it (7432)
On 03/08/2013 at 6:36pm - intimacy - by marriage/celibacy/synonymity (man) - Norway (Hordaland)
Today, I found out that my boyfriend and one of his friends have been having sex with each other. His excuse? "She's my best friend, we do this all the time." I have been dating him for over a year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37609) - you deserved it (2337)
On 03/05/2013 at 3:17pm - love - by Alexandra - United States (Maryland)
Today, my wife finally came home from deployment. Apparently, in the military she really built up some muscle. When she saw me at the airport, she picked me up like a baby and spun me around in her arms a few times. I'm a little scared of her now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33348) - you deserved it (8471)
On 03/04/2013 at 2:36am - love - by married to wonder woman (man) - United States (California)
Today, I went to my daughter's room with clean laundry. I found her lying on her bed with a hand down her pants, totally zoned out and staring blankly at the Justin Bieber poster on her wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38267) - you deserved it (4760)
On 03/03/2013 at 12:03pm - misc - by parental failure (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I walked outside to this guy attempting to steal my bike. When I asked him what he was doing he calmly replied, "I'm a bike inspector. You hooked your chain all wrong! This time is a warning; next time it'll be a ticket!" He then threw his full, opened Pepsi can at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22984) - you deserved it (1916)
On 02/27/2013 at 5:39pm - misc - by Chelsea - United States (Ohio)
Today, my 20-year-old daughter staggered into my room at two in the morning, drunker than I ever thought a person could be, screaming for me to make pancakes for her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28779) - you deserved it (6421)
On 02/27/2013 at 4:42pm - kids - by Ugh (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I asked my boyfriend where he went to lunch. He said he went to Wendy's. I teased him and asked if he got tired of eating burgers and Frosty's all the time. His response? "What? No, I mean at Wendy's. You know, the hot girl from work?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (29065) - you deserved it (4217)
On 02/27/2013 at 12:36pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34062) - you deserved it (4479)
On 02/26/2013 at 10:00pm - intimacy - by Frostbitten (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterward tried to comfort me by saying there've been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46764) - you deserved it (3141) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 02/25/2013 at 2:47pm - health - by laprochainefoisjerestealamaison (woman) - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)
Today, my fiancé is returning home, so I decided to wax myself, thinking things would get intimate. I warmed the wax strips and set them on the counter. Our cat jumped onto the counter and managed to roll onto one of the strips. Suffice to say, the wrong pussy got a painful waxing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35233) - you deserved it (6002)
On 02/25/2013 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was holding the door open for a friend. She told me to wait a second because she had to finish a text. Nearly a minute passed before I asked why she wouldn't come inside to finish typing. We were at a Chinese restaurant. She thought the "No MSG" sign meant you couldn't text inside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26627) - you deserved it (2411)
On 02/24/2013 at 2:53am - misc - by cls_x (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my very conservative mom met my girlfriend, who recently shaved her head in support of her best friend, who has cancer. My girlfriend looks beautiful and feminine even with her still very short hair. My mom, however, keeps insisting that I'm dating "a confused transgender". FML
I agree, your life sucks (28245) - you deserved it (1787)
On 02/23/2013 at 8:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Monday 17 June 2013
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