About ActionManly : I like video games and drugs
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ActionManly's favorite FMLs
Today, I was spending Saint Patrick's Day with my girlfriend, when she started pinching me for not wearing green. To my complete shock, when she pinched my nipple, I got the biggest, most noticeable erection I've ever had in my life, and no matter what I did, it wouldn't go away. We were in public. FML
by Mr. Sensitive Nips / 03/17/2011 at 6:38pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by bride / 02/14/2011 at 1:24am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/04/2011 at 12:42am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
Today, I was given the ultimate ultimatum: either I suffer excruciating stomach pains and remain a hostage to the porcelain whirlpool goddess, or I stop taking pain medication and face the wrath of a raging infection in my jaw. FML
by Damn.... / 01/28/2011 at 2:26pm / United States (Colorado) / Health
Today, my extremely superstitious girlfriend called me and said she couldn't make it to the date I had planned tonight. Her reason? "I sense something horrible is going to happen." I was planning to propose. FML
by fianceeless / 01/20/2011 at 8:15pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I found out that my wife was having sex with my friend. It turned out that my genius cat realized it wasn't me there and attacked his balls, severely cutting them. I now have to kill my cat and pay for his medical bills to sew his balls back. FML
by Anonymous / 01/08/2011 at 8:11pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I was at the dentist's, getting my teeth cleaned. He thought it would be funny to suddenly go on in detail about the fantastic sex he and his wife had the night before. I was unable to speak the entire time. The dentist is my grandpa. FML
by notsoclean / 12/24/2010 at 4:14pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by morenita27 / 12/20/2010 at 8:52pm / Canada / Work
Today, I woke up after a dream where I got it good from none other than Arnold Schwarzenegger. The problem? I'm a guy, and straight. Apparently my subconscious has a fetish for old Austrian bodybuilders. FML
by Anonymous / 12/04/2010 at 6:23am / Sweden (Skane Lan) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/01/2010 at 12:11am / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy
Today, my car broke down. My boyfriend, who is not too handy, insisted on fixing it. He called me outside and said he was done and started the engine. Moments after rejoicing, it burst into flames. FML
by cartrouble / 11/24/2010 at 10:52pm / United States (North Dakota) / Transportation
by beforegirl / 11/08/2010 at 4:11pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
by mr_p / 11/01/2010 at 3:39pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/29/2010 at 8:10pm / United Kingdom (London) / Health
by Anonymous / 10/21/2010 at 12:56pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was fired from my job because I, in my bosses words, "Abided by company policy to such an…