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Offline (the 03/20/2014 at 7:43am) | Search for a member

Accept

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  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1950
  • Number of comments : 57
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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Accept's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to my high school reunion. Someone walked up to me and said, "Wow, you look so different!" She then followed it up with, "You used to be so pretty, what happened?" FML

#20849795
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39001) - you deserved it (3060)

On 08/22/2013 at 7:40pm - misc - by Ugly (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went on a new medicine. One of the listed side-effects was "anal seepage" and I spent the better part of the day laughing with my coworkers about how it's "not a real side-effect". I found out that it really is while stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic on the way home. FML

#20839551
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39030) - you deserved it (9237)

On 08/15/2013 at 11:18pm - health - by stinky car - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was at the gym when I noticed a girl I like working out on the elliptical. I went to go say hi, but chickened out and went to run on the treadmill in front of her instead. I was so nervous that I tripped and the machine threw me headfirst into her machine. FML

#20839453
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39934) - you deserved it (8079)

On 08/15/2013 at 10:32pm - love - by ZeroLuck (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom came into my room to give me a goodbye kiss. Due to the routine of my girlfriend doing the exact same thing in the exact same spot, I held the kiss way longer than what a mother/son kiss should last. My mom actually had to tell me to "let go". FML

#20839296
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34382) - you deserved it (26783)

On 08/15/2013 at 9:06pm - misc - by deadman (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the condom above my mouth. Somehow, the condom busted, and everything went over my face. Worse still, we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was. FML

#19743887
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13832) - you deserved it (37089)

On 06/06/2012 at 12:02pm - intimacy - by Rob (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after years of torment and relentless harassment, I finally built up the courage to stand up to a bully. I got a detention for swearing at him. FML

#18310525
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34947) - you deserved it (2903)

On 11/21/2011 at 7:35pm - misc - by damnedbydurberg (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I'm very ill. My throat and glands are so swollen that whenever I fall asleep, I relax too much and cut off my own air. The doctor said it's a viral infection and there's nothing they can give me, so I can choose between trying to kill myself by sleeping or staying awake for the next few days. FML

#18126766
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33069) - you deserved it (2230)

On 11/01/2011 at 2:29am - health - by DirtyCharmed - United States (Washington)

Today, I was the 19th wheel at a party. Yes, I counted. FML

#18126270
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32273) - you deserved it (4315)

On 11/01/2011 at 1:01am - love - by Tom - United States

Today, I was the 19th wheel at a party. Yes, I counted. FML

#18126270
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32273) - you deserved it (4315)

On 11/01/2011 at 1:01am - love - by Tom - United States

Today, my mom left for a business trip. Thinking it was a good time to throw a party, I mass messaged everyone on my contact list. I thought it was going to be a success. The problem with this? My mom is on my contacts list. She replied "I'll be home in an hour. You're grounded." FML

#17992894
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7478) - you deserved it (62226)

On 10/15/2011 at 8:47pm - misc - by mass message (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was doing my jazz aerobics workout and accidentally kicked my 3 year old daughter in the face. Everyone we know, including my wife, thinks I beat her. FML

#17613922
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28132) - you deserved it (8697)

On 08/29/2011 at 5:19pm - health - by Stan - United States (California)

Today, I was teasing my 12 year old little cousin about him liking my best friend. I guess it made him mad because he yelled "Breast cancer!" at the top of his lungs before power-punching my right boob. FML

#17457165
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17765) - you deserved it (32115)

On 08/13/2011 at 2:51am - kids - by brittbrat4 - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML

#17457057
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39299) - you deserved it (4222)

On 08/13/2011 at 2:37am - love - by bTOhno - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I had to do a "damage report" on myself after going to the midnight premiere of Harry Potter. As I was waiting for the previews, a 20 year old man dressed as a house elf tackled and wrestled me for my seat. FML

#17121994
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26282) - you deserved it (4757)

On 07/15/2011 at 1:01pm - health - by beachbumb8538 - United States

Today, I tried to talk to my boyfriend about our communication problems. He fell asleep. FML

#16984113
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30921) - you deserved it (7032)

On 07/05/2011 at 7:48am - love - by Ella - Australia (Queensland)



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