![[fr]](http://cdn2.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_fr_hover.gif)
![[it]](http://cdn1.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_it_hover.gif)
![[es2]](http://cdn2.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_es2_hover.gif)
![[tr]](http://cdn5.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_tr_hover.gif)
![[de]](http://cdn5.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_de_hover.gif)
![[ru]](http://cdn3.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_ru_hover.gif)
![[se]](http://cdn3.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_se_hover.gif)
About Accept : Want my fb? Ask ;3
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, after years of torment and relentless harassment, I finally built up the courage to stand up to a bully. I got a detention for swearing at him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27201) - you deserved it (1960)
On 11/21/2011 at 7:35pm - misc - by damnedbydurberg (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I'm very ill. My throat and glands are so swollen that whenever I fall asleep, I relax too much and cut off my own air. The doctor said it's a viral infection and there's nothing they can give me, so I can choose between trying to kill myself by sleeping or staying awake for the next few days. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25053) - you deserved it (1479)
On 11/01/2011 at 2:29am - health - by DirtyCharmed - United States (Washington)
Today, I was the 19th wheel at a party. Yes, I counted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24944) - you deserved it (3070)
On 11/01/2011 at 1:01am - love - by Tom - United States
Today, my mom left for a business trip. Thinking it was a good time to throw a party, I mass messaged everyone on my contact list. I thought it was going to be a success. The problem with this? My mom is on my contacts list. She replied "I'll be home in an hour. You're grounded." FML
I agree, your life sucks (5596) - you deserved it (43327)
On 10/15/2011 at 8:47pm - misc - by mass message (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was doing my jazz aerobics workout and accidentally kicked my 3 year old daughter in the face. Everyone we know, including my wife, thinks I beat her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21115) - you deserved it (6206)
On 08/29/2011 at 5:19pm - health - by Stan - United States (California)
Today, I was teasing my 12 year old little cousin about him liking my best friend. I guess it made him mad because he yelled "Breast cancer!" at the top of his lungs before power-punching my right boob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13032) - you deserved it (20870)
On 08/13/2011 at 2:51am - kids - by brittbrat4 - United States (Florida)
Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31516) - you deserved it (3035)
On 08/13/2011 at 2:37am - love - by bTOhno - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I had to do a "damage report" on myself after going to the midnight premiere of Harry Potter. As I was waiting for the previews, a 20 year old man dressed as a house elf tackled and wrestled me for my seat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19929) - you deserved it (3441)
On 07/15/2011 at 1:01pm - health - by beachbumb8538 - United States
Today, I tried to talk to my boyfriend about our communication problems. He fell asleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24401) - you deserved it (5347)
On 07/05/2011 at 7:48am - love - by Ella - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my husband bought me a bouquet of roses. They caused me to sneeze seven times in a row. That was the closest he's ever got me to an orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12649) - you deserved it (2434)
On 06/20/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)
Today, I received the only love letter I've ever gotten. Too bad it's from the guy who's been stalking me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20331) - you deserved it (2495)
On 06/20/2011 at 1:21am - love - by Hello (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on for the first time. Just as I was about to climax, I spotted my greatest fear, a big wasp, only a few inches away from me. I shuddered and made a very unmanly orgasm wail. She now refuses to have sex because she says I "turned her off forever". FML
I agree, your life sucks (30704) - you deserved it (7921)
On 06/07/2011 at 4:07pm - intimacy - by Punk (man) - United States
Today, while hiking, my dad decided we should take the beeline trail down the mountain to save time. We got to the bottom of the mountain when we discovered it was the wrong side of the mountain. We had to hike 13 extra miles around it to get back to our car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9254) - you deserved it (1965)
On 04/27/2011 at 10:43pm - misc - by lostinthewoods (woman) - United States
Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend's present to me was that he actually flushed the toilet AND put the seat down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25852) - you deserved it (4712)
On 04/27/2011 at 10:41pm - love - by suckishbf (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I made a video for a school tour of my apartment in German. The walls in my apartment are thin, so you could hear my sister having phone sex in her room in the background. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26241) - you deserved it (3823)
On 04/16/2011 at 3:04am - intimacy - by Xanadu (woman) - United States (Arizona)
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
