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Offline (the 03/20/2014 at 7:43am) | Search for a member
About Accept : o;
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
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I went on a new medicine . One of the listed side-effects was ( anal seepage ) an I spent the better part of the day laughing with my coworkers about how it's ( not a real side-effect ) . I found out that it really is while stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic on the way home . big fat FML
Today, I was at the gymhen I noticd a girl I lyk working out on the elliptical . I went to go say hi, but chickend out an went to run on the treadmill in front of her instead . I was so nervous that I trippd an the machine threw me headfirst into her machine . FML
Today, mah mom came into mah room to give me a goodbye kiss!! Due to the routine of mah grlfriend doing the exact same thing in the exact same spot, I held the kiss way longer than wat a mother/son kiss should last!! My mom actually had to tell me to ( let go )!! FML
Today after having sex with mah girlfriend I jokingly held the condom above mah mouth. Somehow the condom bustd an everything went over mah face. Worse still we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was.
Yesterday, I'm very ill . My troat and glands r so swollen tat wenever I fall asleep, I relax too muc and cut off ma own air . Te doctor said it's a viral infection and tere's noting tey can give me, so I can coose between trying to kill myself by sleeping or staying awake for te next few days . FML
Today , mah mom left for a business trip. Thinking it was a good time to throw a party , I mass messaged everyone on mah contact list. I thought it was going to be a success. The problem with this? My mom is on mah contacts list. She replied ( I'll be home in an hour. You're grounded. ) FML
looool Today , I had to do a "damage report" on myself after going to the midnight premiere of Harry Potter. As I was waiting 4 the previews , a 20 year old man dressd as a house elf tackld an wrestld me 4 my seat. FML
Friday 27 March 2015