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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 11 September 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4721
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Abs_Seraph : I'm a university student living in Canada. I find some FMLs humorous and I find others as dramatic stories, much sympathy. I love expressing myself and I encourage everyone around me to do so.

Life can be very ironic, but it's fun when you get used to it. No matter what happens to me I'm usually able to find the irony in the things I go through and laugh.

Experience is invaluable.

Abs_Seraph's page activity

Visits<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 3:11pm<b>WizardlyUnicorn</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 8:36pm<b>Googolman</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 6:22pm<b>Dmc169</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 10:04am<b>ohishkabibble</b> - the 05/11/2013 at 2:17pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:53pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 2:00pm<b>ha</b> - the 11/09/2009 at 6:25pm<b>Sasha_FrOmRussia</b> - the 07/05/2009 at 10:13am<b>analo</b> - the 06/24/2009 at 11:47pm<b>Cutie456</b> - the 06/23/2009 at 8:54am<b>chris_e81</b> - the 06/22/2009 at 9:44pm<b>AnnieLennox1954</b> - the 06/21/2009 at 5:58pm<b>ghandteri</b> - the 06/21/2009 at 1:00pm<b>Sodam_INsane</b> - the 06/16/2009 at 12:28pm<b>Lisimal</b> - the 06/16/2009 at 4:37am<b>Undead_fml</b> - the 06/16/2009 at 4:14am<b>xKattAttack</b> - the 06/16/2009 at 1:52am

Abs_Seraph's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Abs_Seraph's favorite FMLs

Today, my friends and I were walking past a bar. There were a few cute guys "rating" every girl that walked by with number cards. My friend, who is a guy, got an 8. I got a 2. FML

by number2 / 06/14/2009 at 12:05am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was getting it on with my cute guy friend in his candlelit bedroom and we had just started tearing each other's clothes off. I decided to be coy and sexy and flip my hair to the side. As I did so, my long hair caught in the flames of his lit candles and caught half of my head on fire. FML

by Bawo / 06/01/2009 at 9:20pm / United States (Utah) / Intimacy

Today, I went to my doctor to get the morning after pill. I explained to her that the condom broke and I was nervous. She simply asked me "when" so I replied "...towards the end". I didn't realize she was really asking what day this happened. FML

by embarrassed / 06/01/2009 at 4:11pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, I was partnered with this really sexy guy for an audition. He says, "Am I really stuck with you? I can't even stand being seen with you in public!" I start cursing him out really loud, but then I realize that he's only reading the script. Everyone was staring, and he called me a crazy bitch. FML

by jazzyfizzle / 05/30/2009 at 9:13pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Attempting to make things a little more exciting, I said in my sexiest voice "oh yeah, harder." My boyfriend who apparently doesn't like talking dirty, pulled out and angrily said "I was trying, what more do you want?" FML

by alexis89 / 05/26/2009 at 12:53pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo done with his name on. He paid for it. After it was done he told me it was over between us and he thought it'd be a nice reminder of him for me. FML

by Angelofkarma / 05/25/2009 at 2:05pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Love

Today, I was lighting fireworks for my cousin's birthday in my Grandmother's yard. When it came time to light the "Grand Finale", I read on the outside of the box,"Face this side toward crowd for best result". After I lit it, I realized that it was on it's side. I shot 100 fireworks at my family. FML

by Tyler_Padgett / 05/24/2009 at 7:52pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I confronted my fiancé and told him I knew his 'little secret'. I had suspected that he had been ruining his wedding diet by eating pizza at the office. He replied that the affair with his secretary had only been going on for a couple of months. FML

by Anonymous / 05/24/2009 at 7:39pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, was my wedding night. We had decided to wait until marriage to have sex. When I undressed and smiled at my new wife, she burst into tears and cried, "please don't make me do this." FML

by honeymoondisaster / 05/23/2009 at 12:44am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML

by herve / 05/22/2009 at 3:50pm / Lebanon (Beyrouth) / Intimacy

Today, I was sitting at a bus stop and a guy stops in front of me and says "Oh very nice. How much?" I reply "You couldn't afford me." An old guy sitting next to me says "I bet I could" and puts his hand on my leg. I forfeited the bus and walked home in the rain. FML

by rice_cake / 05/22/2009 at 6:52am / Australia (New South Wales) / Transportation

Today, I was at the mall blasting music. I was wearing a nice shirt, and had my iPod in my breast pocket. I noticed a cute girl smiling at me, so I smiled back and as she started to walk over, I turned down my music while smiling. It looked like I was rubbing my nipple. FML

by zero_minded12 / 05/20/2009 at 11:08pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, after a long night of partying, I was hanging out with this girl I really like. I was feeling really hungover, so we were just sitting at the park. She confessed to me that she's liked me since the day she met me. Out of excitement and hungoverness, I threw up on her shoes. FML

by Anonymous / 05/19/2009 at 1:16am / Canada / Love

Today, I woke up to a hand rubbing my very erect penis, and a woman's peppermint breath in my ear. "Mom?" I called out instinctively, recalling how she always smells like peppermint. The hand stopped rubbing, and I turned to face my very disgusted looking girlfriend of three years. FML

by Ohshit / 05/17/2009 at 2:42am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, when done feeding my newborn, I stated to my husband that I'm a cow. He said, in a sincere tone, "Oh, baby, you'll lose the weight soon." I meant cow because I'm producing so much milk. FML

by Heifer / 05/16/2009 at 5:41pm / United States (Washington) / Love