About Abs_Seraph : I'm a university student living in Canada. I find some FMLs humorous and I find others as dramatic stories, much sympathy. I love expressing myself and I encourage everyone around me to do so.
Life can be very ironic, but it's fun when you get used to it. No matter what happens to me I'm usually able to find the irony in the things I go through and laugh.
Experience is invaluable.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my friends and I were walking past a bar. There were a few cute guys "rating" every girl that walked by with number cards. My friend, who is a guy, got an 8. I got a 2. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33344) - you deserved it (2793)
On 06/14/2009 at 12:05am - misc - by number2 - United States (California)
Today, I was getting it on with my cute guy friend in his candlelit bedroom and we had just started tearing each other's clothes off. I decided to be coy and sexy and flip my hair to the side. As I did so, my long hair caught in the flames of his lit candles and caught half of my head on fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49321) - you deserved it (24624)
On 06/01/2009 at 9:20pm - intimacy - by Bawo (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, I went to my doctor to get the morning after pill. I explained to her that the condom broke and I was nervous. She simply asked me "when" so I replied "...towards the end". I didn't realize she was really asking what day this happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10661) - you deserved it (46834)
On 06/01/2009 at 4:11pm - intimacy - by embarrassed (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I was partnered with this really sexy guy for an audition. He says, "Am I really stuck with you? I can't even stand being seen with you in public!" I start cursing him out really loud, but then I realize that he's only reading the script. Everyone was staring, and he called me a crazy bitch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8691) - you deserved it (47492)
On 05/30/2009 at 9:13pm - misc - by jazzyfizzle (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Attempting to make things a little more exciting, I said in my sexiest voice "oh yeah, harder." My boyfriend who apparently doesn't like talking dirty, pulled out and angrily said "I was trying, what more do you want?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (62800) - you deserved it (14105)
On 05/26/2009 at 12:53pm - intimacy - by alexis89 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo done with his name on. He paid for it. After it was done he told me it was over between us and he thought it'd be a nice reminder of him for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (210071) - you deserved it (94972)
On 05/25/2009 at 2:05pm - love - by Angelofkarma (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, I was lighting fireworks for my cousin's birthday in my Grandmother's yard. When it came time to light the "Grand Finale", I read on the outside of the box,"Face this side toward crowd for best result". After I lit it, I realized that it was on it's side. I shot 100 fireworks at my family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8890) - you deserved it (40716)
On 05/24/2009 at 7:52pm - misc - by Tyler_Padgett (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I confronted my fiancé and told him I knew his 'little secret'. I had suspected that he had been ruining his wedding diet by eating pizza at the office. He replied that the affair with his secretary had only been going on for a couple of months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64075) - you deserved it (5527)
On 05/24/2009 at 7:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, was my wedding night. We had decided to wait until marriage to have sex. When I undressed and smiled at my new wife, she burst into tears and cried, "please don't make me do this." FML
I agree, your life sucks (165461) - you deserved it (14440)
On 05/23/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by honeymoondisaster (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (72528) - you deserved it (7925)
On 05/22/2009 at 3:50pm - intimacy - by herve (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)
Today, I was sitting at a bus stop and a guy stops in front of me and says "Oh very nice. How much?" I reply "You couldn't afford me." An old guy sitting next to me says "I bet I could" and puts his hand on my leg. I forfeited the bus and walked home in the rain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46956) - you deserved it (18363)
On 05/22/2009 at 6:52am - intimacy - by rice_cake (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I had sex for the first time with the guy I've been seeing about a month. When we finished, all he wanted to do was kiss and cuddle, and all I could think about was how soon he would leave so I could cry. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57609) - you deserved it (21001)
On 05/21/2009 at 5:38am - intimacy - by ouch (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was at the mall blasting music. I was wearing a nice shirt, and had my iPod in my breast pocket. I noticed a cute girl smiling at me, so I smiled back and as she started to walk over, I turned down my music while smiling. It looked like I was rubbing my nipple. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23790) - you deserved it (51223)
On 05/20/2009 at 11:08pm - love - by zero_minded12 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, after a long night of partying, I was hanging out with this girl I really like. I was feeling really hungover, so we were just sitting at the park. She confessed to me that she's liked me since the day she met me. Out of excitement and hungoverness, I threw up on her shoes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37715) - you deserved it (15239)
On 05/19/2009 at 1:16am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada
Today, I woke up to a hand rubbing my very erect penis, and a woman's peppermint breath in my ear. "Mom?" I called out instinctively, recalling how she always smells like peppermint. The hand stopped rubbing, and I turned to face my very disgusted looking girlfriend of three years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24302) - you deserved it (67662)
On 05/17/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by Ohshit (man) - United States (Texas)
Monday 20 May 2013
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