Abnuf

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Abnuf

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 15 September 1984 (31 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1789
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Abnuf : "Life is hard, it's harder if you're stupid" John Wayne

Abnuf's page activity

Visits<b>Mornai</b> - the 05/22/2013 at 8:57am<b>pretty_coin</b> - the 01/18/2012 at 6:56am<b>shockwave_system</b> - the 10/23/2011 at 10:40pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:25pm<b>coolkid_matt</b> - the 06/22/2011 at 4:05am<b>Vanyaxe</b> - the 03/09/2011 at 7:32pm<b>CloudEnvy</b> - the 02/28/2011 at 7:37am<b>Gubiithefish</b> - the 02/24/2011 at 5:31pm<b>HappinessForFree</b> - the 02/23/2011 at 12:15pm<b>jetpackzach</b> - the 02/13/2011 at 4:42pm<b>danielle25</b> - the 02/13/2011 at 1:25pm<b>Jimboom</b> - the 02/12/2011 at 5:13am<b>Bobby64</b> - the 02/11/2011 at 4:09pm<b>Doortje</b> - the 02/08/2011 at 6:11pm<b>rockarolln89</b> - the 02/07/2011 at 12:06pm<b>ptellini</b> - the 02/01/2011 at 9:30pm<b>missile</b> - the 02/01/2011 at 10:05am<b>Youwantwhatnow</b> - the 01/31/2011 at 11:42am

Abnuf's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Abnuf's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to get a tattoo. I decided on getting my four month daughter's name tattooed on my upper arm. I went home to show my wife. She broke down and told me that I'm most likely not the father. It's a toss-up between her co-worker, the guy who does our lawn, several strangers and me. FML

by Anonymous / 01/16/2011 at 9:43pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I found out everyone in my family thought the red toothbrush was theirs, and that all four of us have been using the same toothbrush for months. FML

by Anonymous / 01/16/2011 at 12:11am / United States (Minnesota) / Health

Today, I posted a status on Facebook saying I was depressed and needed someone to talk to. Someone commented on it saying "Just kill yourself". It got 20 likes. FML

by Zmeilerr / 01/15/2011 at 12:38am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I got off work and checked my makeup in the mirror once I got in my car. I had a huge piece of spinach on my front tooth that no one told me about. I work the front desk of an upscale hotel and have been greeting guests all day. FML

by embarassed / 01/14/2011 at 5:11am / United States (Idaho) / Work

Today, I found out that my wife was having sex with my friend. It turned out that my genius cat realized it wasn't me there and attacked his balls, severely cutting them. I now have to kill my cat and pay for his medical bills to sew his balls back. FML

by Anonymous / 01/08/2011 at 8:11pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, after months of her begging me, I let my girlfriend cut my hair for the first time. It turned out so badly that we are now "taking a break until it looks normal again." FML

by badhairday / 12/25/2010 at 8:38pm / United States (Nebraska) / Love

Today, I overheard my husband telling my step-dad that I have the same ability to sniff out chocolate in a house as a certain animal has to find truffles in the woods. FML

by Anonymous / 12/22/2010 at 3:01am / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, after an argument with a coworker, I sent him "Sorry about being such a jerk" in a reply to a mass email he had sent. I accidentally hit 'Reply All'. I now have 32 "It's okay" messages in my inbox. FML

by Anonymous / 12/20/2010 at 5:26pm / United States (Georgia) / Work

Today, I went to the mall with my daughter. She asked me if she could go see Santa, so I said yes. She made me sit on his lap with her, and that's when I felt something on my bum. Let's just say Santa had a present for me. FML

by hotmommy / 12/19/2010 at 7:23pm / Intimacy

Today, I sat in the cafeteria at work and saw a girl, which is a rare sight at my workplace, from the back with a beautifully long ponytail. After a full hour of building up courage to perhaps say hi to her, she turned around. It was a 50-year-old man. FML

by lonelyengineer / 12/19/2010 at 5:28am / Germany (Niedersachsen) / Love

Today, I tripped on a step that said "Watch your step." Two hours later, I hit my head on a sign that said "Mind your head." FML

by Anonymous / 11/13/2010 at 1:24am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to sneeze really bad in a restaurant. To avoid sneezing on everybody's food, I turned my head to the side and sneezed, it just so happens a waitress was there serving a table. My nose went straight into her ass. FML

by Embarrassed / 10/01/2010 at 9:06am / United States / Health

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend saying, "I shall be the prince, and you shall be the princess," to his hamster. Once he saw me, he quickly turned to the hamster and said, "I have to go. The dragon is here." FML

by Cheese4men / 05/14/2010 at 7:28pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, I woke up from a nap and thought I felt somebody's arm in my bed. I frantically start hitting it and start screaming. I soon realized it was my own arm. I had fallen asleep on it, and it was completely numb, I couldn't feel a thing. FML

by Anonymous / 12/29/2009 at 12:11am / United States (New York) / Health

Today, while on the phone with a client at work, I was planning on saying either "Yeah." or "Uh-huh." Without thinking, I combined the two and ended up saying "Yee-hah," like a cowboy. FML

by Jen / 12/01/2009 at 12:25pm / United States (Virginia) / Work