About Abby133 : Hey there :) I'm Abby. I'm sixteen years old and I live in Canada!
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Abby133's favorite FMLs
by friedbutter / 10/28/2012 at 10:53am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, my young son and I were in line at Subway. I guess he got bored and started to insult the teenage girl behind us. I tried to get him to stop, but he wouldn't listen. Eventually the girl punched him in the face and left. As my son cried uncontrollably, everyone else there clapped. FML
by Bratty son / 10/23/2012 at 12:25am / United States (California) / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/21/2012 at 8:29pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband and I went to marriage counselling. I confessed something that was bothering me, but he didn't understand. Our counselor repeated word-for-word what I said right back at him. He turned to me angrily and shouted, "Why couldn't you just say that the first time?!" FML
by madari / 10/21/2012 at 7:11pm / Spain (Andalucia) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/17/2012 at 6:15am / Australia / Love
by Anonymous / 10/17/2012 at 1:18am / France (Bretagne) / Love
Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML
by Holy Testacles / 10/17/2012 at 12:45am / United States / Miscellaneous
by stop it ninja / 10/14/2012 at 3:00am / United States (Virginia) / Animals
Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML
by assholecat / 10/10/2012 at 4:43am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals
Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML
by cumhole / 10/09/2012 at 10:32pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, a man with a clipboard came up to me in the street to ask me if I was happy with my life insurance. I couldn't bring myself to admit to him that I'm so clueless about my own life that I wasn't sure I was even happy with the Twix I was eating at the time. FML
by Anonymous / 09/30/2012 at 8:49pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, "5-second rule" and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML
by RawrSparkle / 09/21/2012 at 3:31am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by jitiizer / 09/19/2012 at 1:02pm / Netherlands (Friesland) / Miscellaneous
by Mrs. Teacher / 09/17/2012 at 8:21pm / United States (Georgia) / Work
Today, at school, a guy walked up to me and said I look a little too young to be at high school. I told him that I'm sixteen years old. He stared at my chest for several long seconds, muttered "What the fuck?" and walked off. FML
by wtf yourself, cunt / 09/17/2012 at 7:14pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
- Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that… Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish… Today, while on holiday in Morocco, I got arrested by a cop. “Sir, you were driving at 90 instead…