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A_nonny_moose1

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A_nonny_moose1
  • Town/Country : London, United Kingdom
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2228
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!

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A_nonny_moose1's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
398 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35069) - you deserved it (3815)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, my face got intimate with several plywood boards, and I suffered lacerations and bruising. I told my friends I got the wounds from taking a few guys down in a bar fight. Now they're dragging me out into a rough part of town to give them "muscle" while they try to score some crack. FML

#19787973
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6089) - you deserved it (36932)

On 06/14/2012 at 4:59pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Croydon)

Today, I was having sex with my wife, when she fell asleep. She then woke up and started moaning, clearly faking an orgasm. FML

#19784539
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25861) - you deserved it (6328)

On 06/13/2012 at 10:21pm - intimacy - by biggieT - Sri Lanka (Western)

Today, I walked in on my wife masturbating. Naturally, I asked her if she needed some help. She replied, "Nah, I've got this." FML

#19783126
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22973) - you deserved it (14718)

On 06/13/2012 at 5:30pm - intimacy - by Steve (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I had to take my husband to the hospital. He and his friends got the bright idea of recording a re-enactment of a scene from Fight Club for a YouTube video. It ended as soon as my husband caught a fist to the gut and started violently puking all over our basement floor. FML

#19782918
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17879) - you deserved it (1931)

On 06/13/2012 at 4:38pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands

Today, my identical twin sister's boyfriend walked over to me, and whispered in my ear, "I know what you look like naked." FML

#19776975
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38443) - you deserved it (3667)

On 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm - misc - by creeped out - United States (New York)

Today, I came home to my boyfriend emptying his bowels into my aquarium. FML

#19775676
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24375) - you deserved it (2446)

On 06/12/2012 at 9:02am - love - by fledermausi (woman) - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML

#19772012
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19455) - you deserved it (2455)

On 06/11/2012 at 5:45pm - love - by amidreaming?? (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I put the little boy I nanny for in time-out. In retaliation he blasted an air horn in my face. I can only hear out of one ear now. FML

#19769607
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19029) - you deserved it (2489)

On 06/11/2012 at 7:18am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I used a prank app, where you shake the cell, and it makes the screen looks cracked. I ended up losing my grip on the phone. It went flying, and it is now cracked for real. FML

#19763954
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8143) - you deserved it (28532)

On 06/10/2012 at 2:24am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in a business meeting. I was giving a Powerpoint presentation to my boss and a few other associates. Then a notification popped up in the middle of my presentation reminding me that I needed to renew my pornhub subscription. FML

#19754220
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10206) - you deserved it (32026)

On 06/08/2012 at 7:58am - work - by WaffleMan (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my sister, knowing that I'm terrified of his face, taped a picture of Michael Jackson over our toilet. When I entered the washroom, I sprinted back out screaming. Minutes later, while in the shower, I happened to glance up at the ceiling. Guess who was grinning down at me. FML

#19753089
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23220) - you deserved it (7773)

On 06/08/2012 at 12:35am - misc - by ugh - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up from a sexy dream about my boyfriend. Too bad I'd fallen asleep in my living room with my whole family over, grandma included. They were all staring. I'd been sleep humping and moaning. FML

#19749862
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31081) - you deserved it (5367)

On 06/07/2012 at 1:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, in a drunken state, I decided that it would be a good idea to shave with a pizza cutter. FML

#19748828
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4365) - you deserved it (21437)

On 06/07/2012 at 8:10am - health - by Darwin_Award_Winner (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my colleagues had replaced my email auto-responder with a message saying, "I'm away for two weeks in Brazil. Due to the surgery, when I return, please address me by my new name: Crystal." FML

#19710494
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26356) - you deserved it (2568) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/31/2012 at 4:19pm - love - by Monsieur-Madame (man) - France (Champagne-Ardenne)



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