A_nonny_moose1

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Offline (the 02/12/2014 at 6:35pm)

A_nonny_moose1

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9587
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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A_nonny_moose1's page activity

Visits<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 12:25pm<b>paigexox0</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 10:54pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 2:44pm<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 12:19am<b>SexyQueen0905</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 11:06pm<b>sugarbooboo63</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 10:56pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 6:28pm<b>dstark26</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 4:29pm<b>bcuzmylifesucks</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 10:54am<b>TehEpicBlack</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 3:09am<b>sweet0cheeks</b> - the 10/28/2013 at 11:44am<b>carleybeak</b> - the 09/27/2013 at 2:42pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 8:22am<b>Grace598</b> - the 08/02/2013 at 11:58pm<b>dead_insects</b> - the 06/21/2013 at 7:46pm<b>duckman9</b> - the 06/21/2013 at 2:19pm<b>jaffvis</b> - the 06/14/2013 at 5:40pm<b>HitchHiker42</b> - the 06/13/2013 at 10:02pm

A_nonny_moose1's FML badges

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You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You’ve watched 5 FML videos on the website, and commented on them.

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A_nonny_moose1's favorite FMLs

Today, I heard a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I discovered my husband, naked and with his pants around his ankles, standing in the bathtub and pointing at a cockroach on the ground. After disposing of the body, I had to stay and comfort him while he wiped his ass. FML

by I_Has_A_Fishy / 07/10/2012 at 3:33pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML

by Anonymous / 07/10/2012 at 6:03am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I went to an orchestra concert. Halfway through the performance I had to fart really bad, so I decided to try and sneak it in while the orchestra was playing a loud exciting part. Just as I let it rip, there was a dramatic pause in the music. Everyone heard. FML

by Concert Flatulent / 07/10/2012 at 12:44am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my brother thought it would be funny to pretend my tampons were "dynamite" and run around the house throwing them at my friends and family. FML

by Anonymous / 07/05/2012 at 12:01am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I found out my home health patient purposely drinks tons of prune juice every night so I will have a huge mess to clean up in the morning because I'm "a lazy bastard" and I "need to work harder." FML

by melikeyturtles / 07/03/2012 at 11:08am / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, I asked the 7-year-old that I was babysitting if he could burp on command. He said he could, and began to demonstrate. It turns out he couldn't purposely burp, but he definitely could vomit on command. FML

by ew / 07/03/2012 at 7:33am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I went to the beach with my boyfriend and family. My sister coyly pointed out the scratch marks down his back, hoping to embarrass me in front of my parents. The marks weren't from me. FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2012 at 12:22am / Love

Today, I have four flights. I spent last night projectile vomiting with food poisoning. By the time I got to the airport it had progressed to liquid diarhea. Two flights in, I got my period. FML

by Jobby / 06/30/2012 at 8:48am / Health

Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML

by BloodFaerie / 06/30/2012 at 2:49am / United States (Georgia) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was fired for using violence and intimidation in the work place. I was a bouncer at a strip club. FML

by John / 06/30/2012 at 1:08am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, while at work, I witnessed a kid empty his bladder all over the floor. His mother walked over, looked at me, said "yep... that just happened" and dragged him away. I'm a 30-year-old man, four credits shy of a Master's, stuck cleaning up piss at a dead-end job. FML

by ihatewalmart / 06/29/2012 at 7:12pm / United States / Kids

Today, I let my daughter bake a cake for her brother's fifth birthday party. She showed up later with a cake in the shape of a cock and balls. Apparently it's okay, though, because "I frosted it to look like a rocket, hehehe!" I can't believe my balls spawned this moron. FML

by Nick / 06/29/2012 at 5:39pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

Today, I was entering a guy's number into my phone, and I couldn't remember his name. Embarrassed, I tried to be sneaky and asked, "Can you spell your name for me, please?" His name is Bob. FML

by Bernadette / 06/28/2012 at 3:58pm / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend finally met my brother. He arrested him for drunk driving. FML

by daniella101 / 06/28/2012 at 2:11pm / United States (Louisiana) / Love

Today, my neighborhood had its annual summer barbecue, and I ended up showing a little boy who lives down the street how to hit a baseball. When I gave him back his bat so he could try for himself, he swung it into my shin and yelled, "Tag! You're it!" FML

by bcoper / 06/25/2012 at 12:09pm / Switzerland (Luzern) / Kids