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You’ve watched 5 FML videos on the website, and commented on them.
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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Today, I realized why it's not a good idea to sleep with your boyfriend when he still lives with his mom. She may walk in, make you get dressed, and demand what you have to say for yourself. Trust me, "Your son is good at sex" is not the right answer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11221) - you deserved it (22281)
On 08/15/2012 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by shelby124 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, after sex, my boyfriend and I lay in bed for a couple of hours just chatting. This would have been lovely. However, his topic of choice for post-coital pillow talk was his theory about how Chewbacca is secretly the leader of the Rebel Alliance. It actually made sense. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15275) - you deserved it (4811)
On 08/14/2012 at 8:17am - intimacy - by cl4ptp (woman) - United Kingdom (Vale of Glamorgan, The)
Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10534) - you deserved it (32392)
On 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13941) - you deserved it (2257)
On 08/09/2012 at 10:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my fiancé told me that he was having second thoughts on our engagement. Instead of just calling it off, he took me to a fancy restaurant and took a public poll on whether we should get married. The majority said no. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23203) - you deserved it (1749)
On 08/05/2012 at 9:20am - love - by exfiancee (woman) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, a guy said to me, "I'd really love to see that smile back at my place." Trying to be cute, I asked him if he was single. He replied with, "No, but I am a dentist. I could definitely fix that crossbite." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17040) - you deserved it (2425)
On 08/05/2012 at 1:23am - health - by wut (woman) - United States
Today, my 15-year-old son begged me to pre-order the next season of My Little Pony. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15614) - you deserved it (4516)
On 08/04/2012 at 7:04pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was walking home from work, when a clearly homeless guy who smelled like Jimmy Hoffa's colon grabbed me, pinned me to a wall, and demanded that I hand over my "booty". I don't know whether or not I was mugged by Jack Sparrow, but either way, he's now over £100 richer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14143) - you deserved it (1565)
On 07/27/2012 at 3:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Midlothian)
Today, my live-in-boyfriend lost his job. Jokingly, I told him that we weren't going to have sex until he found a new job. He then turned to me with the most excited look I have ever seen on his face and said "I am going to stay unemployed forever!" He was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18898) - you deserved it (5885)
On 07/27/2012 at 9:45am - intimacy - by Nikki (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my husband and I were watching Lord of the Rings. My husband told me he sees the eye of Sauron every time he goes down on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16513) - you deserved it (2309)
On 07/26/2012 at 10:13pm - intimacy - by LOTRfail (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20325) - you deserved it (9446)
On 07/25/2012 at 6:54am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my parents informed that the man I am going to marry made the newspaper, on page twelve. He is listed as a fugitive and there is a warrant out for his arrest. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19261) - you deserved it (2659)
On 07/25/2012 at 1:27am - misc - by strangebeans (woman) - United States
Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27417) - you deserved it (2082)
On 07/20/2012 at 1:13am - money - by Rachel - United States
Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8840) - you deserved it (31171)
Today, I managed to bruise my nipple by closing an umbrella on it. The stupidity of the whole thing hurts almost as much as the injury. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13553) - you deserved it (3154)
On 07/14/2012 at 10:43am - health - by Anonymous - Japan (Tokyo)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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