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A_nonny_moose1

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A_nonny_moose1
  • Town/Country : London, United Kingdom
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2253
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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A_nonny_moose1's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad opened a Chinese fortune cookie that read, "Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes." Now he won't stop calling me Experience. FML

#20494543
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34033) - you deserved it (3008)

On 02/05/2013 at 3:19pm - misc - by Experience (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, working as a nurse, I saw a patient in for follow-up after a partial leg amputation. I checked her blood pressure and gave her the reading, which prompted her husband to ask what it meant. She replied, "I'm alive." Before I could stop myself, "And kicking" spilled out of my mouth. FML

#20493802
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21488) - you deserved it (7629)

On 02/04/2013 at 10:30pm - health - by facepalm - United States (New Jersey)

Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML

#20486562
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44884) - you deserved it (3352) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/30/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by dr mamour - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got a text from an unknown number saying, "You shouldn't be eating that." I was eating a piece of chocolate, cheating on my diet. FML

#20480667
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28791) - you deserved it (16452)

On 01/27/2013 at 12:38am - misc - by LucidNightmare - United States (Colorado)

Today, I caught my 4 year old son yet again trying to drink out of the toilet. FML

#20472782
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28529) - you deserved it (4733)

On 01/22/2013 at 6:39am - kids - by dani0810 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after applying for a job at a tanning salon, I was told they don't hire "naturally tan" people. I'm black. FML

#20470936
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42447) - you deserved it (3656)

On 01/21/2013 at 7:48am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, my kitten tried jumping into a hot oven, a dryer, a dishwasher, a toilet, and a fish-tank. Curiosity is going to kill my cat. FML

#20470154
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29863) - you deserved it (3094)

On 01/20/2013 at 8:47pm - animals - by AnonCat (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML

#20466884
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30068) - you deserved it (2586)

On 01/18/2013 at 8:32pm - misc - by methane overload (man) - United States

Today, at an open mic comedy club, my jokes went down so poorly that someone decided to hurl a chair at me on-stage. FML

#20466782
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24859) - you deserved it (13586)

On 01/18/2013 at 7:26pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Iceland

Today, my teenage son taught my five-year-old daughter how to fake her own death. I walked into the kitchen today to find her lying still on the floor, covered in ketchup. She laughed when I began to scream. FML

#20460540
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38321) - you deserved it (4050)

On 01/15/2013 at 9:41am - kids - by Nightmare (woman) -

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents. As he was loading his truck, I went inside to take a surreptitious shit. I ended up clogging the toilet, and so the first thing my mom said to my boyfriend was, "You'll have to find another bathroom; she just clogged it all up." FML

#20450136
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24075) - you deserved it (5446)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:57pm - misc - by thanksmom (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I felt down, so I laid in bed and told my parents I needed some alone time. A couple of minutes later, one of them started blasting "All by Myself" so loud that I felt the floorboards vibrate. FML

#20420113
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29408) - you deserved it (3247)

On 12/25/2012 at 12:00am - love - by all by myself - United States (Alaska)

Today, I woke up to find our Christmas tree knocked over, unwrapped presents scattered everywhere, and my mom passed out on the sofa with a bottle of booze. Merry Christmas. FML

#20419854
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35582) - you deserved it (2320)

On 12/24/2012 at 10:20pm - misc - by Julie (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I once again walked in on my husband eating our cat's food. FML

#20409541
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31764) - you deserved it (3805)

On 12/20/2012 at 7:26pm - misc - by jsmills92 (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, at my new job, some juvenile cockbite spiked my food with a laxative, as part of some kind of bizarre hazing ritual. The bastard got ratted out and suspended, but my arsehole now feels like it's been blown apart by a nuclear warhead. I thought this shit only happened in movies. FML

#20409224
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27906) - you deserved it (6015)

On 12/20/2012 at 4:49pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)



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