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A_nonny_moose1's FML badges
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You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!
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A_nonny_moose1's favorite FMLs
by Experience / 02/05/2013 at 3:19pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, working as a nurse, I saw a patient in for follow-up after a partial leg amputation. I checked her blood pressure and gave her the reading, which prompted her husband to ask what it meant. She replied, "I'm alive." Before I could stop myself, "And kicking" spilled out of my mouth. FML
by facepalm / 02/04/2013 at 10:30pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health
Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML
by LucidNightmare / 01/27/2013 at 12:38am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
by dani0810 / 01/22/2013 at 6:39am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by Anonymous / 01/21/2013 at 7:48am / United States (Maryland) / Work
by AnonCat / 01/20/2013 at 8:47pm / Canada (Alberta) / Animals
Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML
by methane overload / 01/18/2013 at 8:32pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/18/2013 at 7:26pm / Iceland / Work
Today, my teenage son taught my five-year-old daughter how to fake her own death. I walked into the kitchen today to find her lying still on the floor, covered in ketchup. She laughed when I began to scream. FML
Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents. As he was loading his truck, I went inside to take a surreptitious shit. I ended up clogging the toilet, and so the first thing my mom said to my boyfriend was, "You'll have to find another bathroom; she just clogged it all up." FML
by thanksmom / 01/09/2013 at 2:57pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I felt down, so I laid in bed and told my parents I needed some alone time. A couple of minutes later, one of them started blasting "All by Myself" so loud that I felt the floorboards vibrate. FML
by all by myself / 12/25/2012 at 12:00am / United States (Alaska) / Love
by Julie / 12/24/2012 at 10:20pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by jsmills92 / 12/20/2012 at 7:26pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous
Today, at my new job, some juvenile cockbite spiked my food with a laxative, as part of some kind of bizarre hazing ritual. The bastard got ratted out and suspended, but my arsehole now feels like it's been blown apart by a nuclear warhead. I thought this shit only happened in movies. FML
by Anonymous / 12/20/2012 at 4:49pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work