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A_nonny_moose1

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A_nonny_moose1
  • Town/Country : London, United Kingdom
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 814
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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A_nonny_moose1's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that the drunk-me deletes my texts, so the sober-me doesn't get mad. Well turns out, whatever the drunk-me said, caused me to lose my job, my girlfriend, and my coffee machine. FML

#6100010
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9218) - you deserved it (34223)

On 11/01/2009 at 11:35am - misc - by Joe (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, it was my wedding day. I gave a speech about the first time my wife and I met. I said I knew she was the perfect woman for me and it was love at first sight. I looked to my right as she stormed off and then realized I had told a story about my ex-girlfriend who was sitting in the crowd. FML

#6042161
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7150) - you deserved it (72766)

On 10/28/2009 at 5:22pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my cat managed to lock my dad and me outside of our house. FML

#5937584
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24161) - you deserved it (4946)

On 10/21/2009 at 10:58pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told my brother to piss off. He decided to do exactly that, from the balcony onto my lap. FML

#5930750
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9978) - you deserved it (21775)

On 10/21/2009 at 5:03pm - kids - by holy (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my math teacher decided to use my acne as an example of symmetry in front of the whole class. FML

#5924929
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44717) - you deserved it (2692)

On 10/21/2009 at 2:59am - health - by acneface (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my house got robbed, while I was upstairs taking a dump. FML

#5910203
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36726) - you deserved it (4415)

On 10/20/2009 at 6:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was walking home from my acting gig at a haunted hayride. Even after spending lots of time washing the fake blood off my hands and face, I looked like I'd murdered someone. Perhaps that's why an officer stopped me and questioned me about a stabbing that happened earlier tonight. FML

#5891401
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26804) - you deserved it (2789)

On 10/19/2009 at 2:08am - work - by worldsbestjobgonebad (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was informed by my manager at work that there had been an 'accident' in the playground. I then had to crawl through tunnels designed for 5 year olds, to a tiny playroom with no fresh air, and clean up a stupid kid's pee and crap. FML

#5889597
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26275) - you deserved it (2154)

On 10/19/2009 at 12:10am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend's idea of "washing her feet" is sticking her foot in the toilet and flushing. FML

#5872159
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35955) - you deserved it (2522)

On 10/17/2009 at 10:25pm - love - by userrrrr - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

#5828114
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75032) - you deserved it (10605)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, at work, my stomach hurt and I passed gas for relief. Moments later, I discovered that my loose, silent "fart" was actually a wet, sneaky shart. The mess was beyond repair; I had to fake a family emergency and crept out of the office so that my coworkers wouldn't see my obvious crap stain. FML

#5796915
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25834) - you deserved it (6309)

On 10/12/2009 at 2:10pm - health - by Few_Absolutes (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had to pretend to give birth in a play. I wanted to make it a realistic as possible but ended up crapping myself on stage by accident. FML

#5774504
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47203) - you deserved it (23948)

On 10/11/2009 at 11:42am - misc - by oxjessiiox (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, I was pretending to be a monkey for a "documentary". The branch snapped and I fell out of the tree and onto a car roof. It was after school, I fell onto the dean's BMW. The video was on facebook before I regained consciousness. FML

#5737700
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22388) - you deserved it (7591)

On 10/09/2009 at 10:04am - misc - by jane (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was stuck in traffic on the highway and decided it was the perfect time to pick a humongous booger out of my nose. While carefully examing and admiring it, I failed to notice that the owner of my company was staring at me from the left lane in complete and utter revulsion. FML

#5735299
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5729) - you deserved it (38434)

On 10/09/2009 at 3:09am - work - by whitedevil (man) - United States (California)

Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML

#5724132
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36637) - you deserved it (2337)

On 10/08/2009 at 5:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom



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