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A_nonny_moose1's FML badges
You sure know how to party?
You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!
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A_nonny_moose1's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 09/24/2011 at 7:32pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, the shy girl in my class decided to bring a cake to share with everyone, since it was her birthday. Excited about the cake, I got everybody to sing "happy birthday" for her, only to realize too late that nobody in the class know her name, myself included. FML
by mortenp / 09/22/2011 at 12:44am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
by ThisBlows / 09/21/2011 at 1:20pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/21/2011 at 9:17am / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 09/19/2011 at 10:39am / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML
by awesomekidsmum / 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I will be sleeping in my aunt and uncle's living room. It is 90 degrees. There is an air conditioner but if you turn it on, the raccoons living in the wall will get pissed off and try to claw through the wall. Only five more nights sweating my balls off or imagining racoons having angry sex. FML
by ironik970 / 09/17/2011 at 2:56am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had my parents over at my new apartment. As I was telling them how quiet and peaceful my new place is, we could hear my neighbors talking nasty to each other before launching into a full-blown sex ordeal. FML
by holler / 09/15/2011 at 12:22am / Japan (Tokyo) / Intimacy
Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML
by unicorn / 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up on a friend's floor with a massive hangover after her party last night. My friend, who was next to me, barfed all over me. She then told me that while I was drunk last night, I made out with her dog as well as two of our other friend's boyfriends. FML
by drunk / 03/06/2010 at 2:38am / Australia (Western Australia) / Animals
by Anonymous / 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm / United States (Georgia) / Love
Today, I was babysitting to make a few extra dollars. While changing one of the kid's diapers, I turned around to find the other kid gone. I turned back around frantically, only to get poop flung at my face. I guess I found him. FML
by Anonymous / 02/27/2010 at 1:36am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I learned a little lesson about consequences. Yesterday, I ate a quarter as a dare. Today, I tried to poop it out. It got stuck coming out. I had to go to the doctor and explain everything. FML
by anna14 / 02/21/2010 at 2:34pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
by creamed / 02/20/2010 at 12:29pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out that I was not adopted and in fact my parents are my biological parents. How did I find out? Over dinner. How long have I been believing I was adopted? 22 years. Why did I start believing I was adopted? My siblings thought it would be a funny joke. My mom played along. FML
by Biological / 02/11/2010 at 7:22am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- Today, the guy I've been with for 4 years chose hard drugs over me and our daughter. Happy birthday… Today, I was sitting on the bleachers at school in the shade alone. I saw two girls approaching me… Today, my dad accused me of using various types of drugs, and that I will never achieve anything in…