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A_nonny_moose1

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A_nonny_moose1
  • Town/Country : London, United Kingdom
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2206
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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A_nonny_moose1's favorite FMLs

Today, I was feeling frisky for the first time in months, so I started feeling up my husband. He kept insisting he had a headache and that he wasn't feeling it tonight. When I noticed his sarcasm, he said "Yeah, doesn't feel so great, does it?" and turned the TV volume up. FML

#19156948
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7515) - you deserved it (40054)

On 02/24/2012 at 10:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my dad was complaining about how he makes so little money, so I suggested he invent something. The first thing that came to his mind was an automatic animal masturbator. FML

#19135287
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20570) - you deserved it (2785)

On 02/21/2012 at 10:43pm - intimacy - by nothowtheydoitinalabama - United States (Oregon)

Today, I discovered the hard way that all the scare stories I'd heard about rats getting into pipes and finding their way into your toilet are, in fact, true. FML

#19131403
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22790) - you deserved it (1828)

On 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm - misc - by TheHezzer - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, my family started their own version of the Hunger Games. With farts as their ammo, they've been tackling and gassing everyone until their victim "dies" by surrendering. My house is a flatulent war zone, and I fear waking up blind. FML

#19109077
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19347) - you deserved it (1729)

On 02/18/2012 at 5:22pm - health - by district12 (man) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, after recently moving to an apartment, we've already been asked if we wanted to buy drugs, had a children's chair thrown through the front window, our door painted with "CUNT LICKER" and my laundry stolen. FML

#19092499
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27384) - you deserved it (3146)

On 02/16/2012 at 10:01am - intimacy - by Jeathrow - United States (California)

Today, I got pulled over. When the cop asked where I was coming from, reflexively I said, "Your mom's house." FML

Today, I sat in my boss' office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML

#19042299
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6827) - you deserved it (48503)

On 02/10/2012 at 4:33pm - work - by great - United States

Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML

#18974920
215 comments

Today, I had to Google how to find the area of a circle. I'm working on my PhD in engineering. FML

#18928299
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8539) - you deserved it (29151)

On 01/27/2012 at 8:20pm - misc - by pirsquared (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I turned on the news to see a live report about an increase in crime in my town. One minute in, my drunk daughter appears behind the news reporter, butt naked, dancing. FML

#18845928
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31829) - you deserved it (4595)

On 01/18/2012 at 5:30pm - misc - by MakesMeLol (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, while I was peacefully sleeping, I felt a hand suddenly slap my forehead. Then fingers began to press against my mouth, then nose, then eyes. I finally woke up to my girlfriend laughing hysterically. She'd confused me with her clock-radio. FML

#18814667
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24135) - you deserved it (3118) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/15/2012 at 1:14pm - love - by Vitriol (man) - France

Today, I received a letter from the state saying my 14-year-old daughter is now legally recognized as a male. I have no idea what happened. FML

#18766108
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36764) - you deserved it (3390)

On 01/10/2012 at 12:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - India

Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my dad's butt with a fork. FML

#18754752
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29474) - you deserved it (2211)

On 01/09/2012 at 4:39am - misc - by maruskasommers (woman) - Czech Republic (Pardubicky kraj)

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

#18733573
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19011) - you deserved it (37891)

On 01/07/2012 at 5:27am - intimacy - by Danny - Australia

Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The "Oompa Loompa" song came on, and slightly amused, I started humming it. It wasn't until I noticed that the man next to me was a midget that I understood the horrified looks I was getting. FML

#18716043
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30098) - you deserved it (8628)

On 01/05/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by lorahayes (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)



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