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Seen it!
You’ve watched 5 FML videos on the website, and commented on them.
Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20719) - you deserved it (7959)
On 04/22/2012 at 3:01am - misc - by ultraattitude - United States (California)
Today, while landscaping my backyard, I was pulling a big weed out of the ground. After the last tug, the soil came free, but ended up with me punching myself full force in the nuts. I think my future children are already filing for parental abuse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16020) - you deserved it (3286)
On 04/21/2012 at 11:27pm - health - by JurassicHole (man) - United States
Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33510) - you deserved it (2675)
On 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm - intimacy - by Hakimstah (man) - Lebanon
Today, my girlfriend dragged me along to one of her family's paintball matches. Her father is a former marine, and hates my guts. He kept going well out of his way to hunt me down and pump as many rounds into me as possible without causing a scene. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20393) - you deserved it (2985)
On 04/20/2012 at 10:48pm - love - by fuck (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, while watching TV with my wife, I realized that we were still watching "My Little Pony" even though the kids had been asleep for half an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16145) - you deserved it (4407)
On 04/19/2012 at 12:08pm - misc - by ajnmegs - United States (Colorado)
Today, I had to put one of my preschool students in timeout for masturbating during nap time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28532) - you deserved it (2407)
On 04/17/2012 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by lindsaykay - United States
Today, I held up my best friend with a lighter shaped like a gun, and jokingly accused him of sleeping with my wife, only to have him admit that he really did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38207) - you deserved it (3719)
On 04/16/2012 at 4:12am - intimacy - by oface13 (man) - United States
Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14173) - you deserved it (24765)
On 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by lifeonfire12 (woman) - Canada
Today, I introduced my Spanish friend to a girl I've had a crush on for a long time. Because he only spoke Spanish and she only spoke English, I was the translator. The first thing he said to her was, "You are really pretty." I translated it as "I like other men." Later, they found out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6798) - you deserved it (28771)
On 04/15/2012 at 2:49am - love - by needurlove (man) - United States (Idaho)
Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (9702) - you deserved it (39873) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend pulling off scabs and eating them. My scabs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31182) - you deserved it (2172)
On 04/11/2012 at 5:53am - health - by Scabby (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, my wife sent me to the store to pick stuff up so we could make BLTs. I got the bacon, but couldn't remember what else went into them, so I bought an avocado and napkins. When I got back home, my wife very slowly and sarcastically explained what BLT stands for. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5075) - you deserved it (33450)
On 04/07/2012 at 3:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, after years of secretly faking my orgasms, my husband gave me my first real one. Afterward was also the first time he ever accused me of faking it because, "It was different from all the other times." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9915) - you deserved it (27629)
On 04/07/2012 at 11:27am - intimacy - by anonomous - United States
Today, I punched myself in the face while trying to put my bra on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18044) - you deserved it (5000)
On 04/07/2012 at 11:15am - misc - by anniemeece (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I woke up super glued to the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20150) - you deserved it (7072)
On 04/06/2012 at 10:26pm - misc - by Tanner - United States (Oregon)
Monday 20 May 2013
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