I go to University of AUT University.
Today, I accidentally had my first threesome. A pair of mating bugs flew into my mouth while I was riding my bike home from class. FML
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On 03/19/2010 at 10:33am - misc - by menageettoi (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I bought the most gorgeous dress for prom. While at my boyfriend's later, I came across last year's prom picture of him and his ex. She was wearing the same dress. FML
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On 03/19/2010 at 1:06am - misc - by heatherfeather (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was walking down the street when I heard a loud splashing noise to my right. I looked over only to see a woman not squatting but bending over, spreading her cheeks, peeing a horse-sized amount of pee. I can't un-see this. FML
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On 03/16/2010 at 9:34pm - misc - by disturbed (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
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On 03/16/2010 at 8:46pm - misc - by Username - Sent from a mobile version
Today, I was in a movie when my boyfriend sent out a mass text saying that he'd just lost his virginity. FML
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On 03/15/2010 at 3:34pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)
Today, my boyfriend offered to give me a piggyback ride from the house to the car as means of avoiding walking in mud. Both aware of how tall he is, he crouched extra low and I jumped extra hard. This makes for a terrible example of leapfrog, and a faceplant in the mud. FML
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On 03/14/2010 at 10:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I tried to demonstrate to my friend how laughably dull our kitchen knives are by swiping one across my palm. Turns out Dad noticed the problem yesterday and sharpened them. FML
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On 03/11/2010 at 3:13am - misc - by ShowOff (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)
Today, I was talking to an ex who I still love. He told me how much he wanted to see me, how much he missed me, and we started talking about when we could spend the day at his house. I mentioned Saturday, and he said, "I can't, I have to take my fiancée to the doctor's to find out our baby's sex." FML.
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On 03/09/2010 at 8:17pm - love - by littlemissgullible (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I posted a pic of my prom dress on facebook. The dress looked amazing on me and it just felt so right. So I spent every single dollar I had and some borrowed to buy the dress. When I logged on later that night, the first comment asked "Is this a joke?" FML
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On 03/08/2010 at 8:39pm - misc - by yayaimannoying (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, while playing poker, I lost a stack of money to somebody with the screen name "Poopface." FML
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On 03/08/2010 at 7:08am - money - by prian (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found out my husband of 10 years has a online blog. Excited to read about myself, I began skimming, only to find out that every entry is him explaining how he let his "soulmate" walk away 9 years ago because of his "previous commitment" and how he regrets it every day. FML
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On 03/08/2010 at 12:14am - love - by smashleighfig - Sent from a mobile version
Today, we were working with infant and adult CPR dummies. After practising flawless CPR on the adult dummy, I announced "And that's how you save someone." Then I tripped on the baby dummy and fell. My co-worker stood up and yelled out, "And that's how you kill a baby." FML
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On 03/03/2010 at 7:07pm - misc - by DUMMIE (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I found out my sister has a new boyfriend. That would have been helpful to know 3 hours ago before I told her boyfriend, who is also my best friend, that I loved him. His response? "HAHAHA! Good one! Oh Seriously? Shit." FML
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On 03/02/2010 at 1:07am - love - by SingleSara. (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my girlfriend was crying. I asked her what was wrong, and she said her husband was going to divorce her for seeing me. FML
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On 02/23/2010 at 4:13pm - love - by Pip (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I found out that my girlfriend started a fake argument and pretended to be mad at me for four days, which was almost enough time for the gigantic hickey that my best friend gave her on her neck to heal. FML
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On 02/23/2010 at 1:57pm - love - by mrniceguy - United States
