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APD16

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APD16
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 2627
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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APD16's favorite FMLs

Today, my grandma gave me the 'abstinence' speech. I had thought she already left to go back to FL but then came into my room to tell me how proud she was of me to keep my virginity. I was doing it doggie-style with my boyfriend. FML

#795380
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28570) - you deserved it (81103)

On 04/04/2009 at 1:59am - intimacy - by GrandmasWhore (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, for April fools I decided to set off the smoke detectors in my friend's apartment while he was sleeping and saran wrap the outside of his bedroom doorway so he would smack into it. Instead, he jumped out the window and broke his leg. FML

#748414
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16822) - you deserved it (104101)

On 04/01/2009 at 4:06pm - health - by nic (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was at my bosses house for a company BBQ. Earlier I had taken muscle relaxants to calm my lower back pain. After a few drinks it was clear the alcohol and medication did not mix. I woke up few hours later to find out I had stripped naked and jumped into the 4 foot cake before passing out. FML

#706614
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27350) - you deserved it (71788)

On 03/30/2009 at 6:17pm - work - by Donzai (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my watch broke so I casually mentioned to my dad that I needed a new one. A little while later he hands me this really nice watch. He says, "Here, this one's been lying around for a while". It was the watch I gave him for Father's Day. FML

#593767
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68349) - you deserved it (4085)

On 03/25/2009 at 1:06am - misc - by regiftee (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was nude modeling for the first time for a life art class. The only criteria for the class was that I not move at all while being observed. After a few seconds I noticed a really hot girl drawing me. I got a hard on. FML

#442796
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68325) - you deserved it (22514)

On 03/18/2009 at 4:37pm - intimacy - by Opplyst11 - United States (Georgia)

Today, my dad gave me a promise ring on my one year anniversary with my boyfriend and made me swear I would wait til marriage. Four hours later he walked in on us having sex in my bedroom. FML

#400298
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41289) - you deserved it (228873)

On 03/16/2009 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by thiswouldhappen. - United States (Florida)

Today, my physics teacher asked who had implants. I raised my hand. Then he asked me to show him the implants. Shocked at his request I called him a perv. I later discovered he meant dental implants as he was teaching x rays not breast implants. FML

#232961
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11016) - you deserved it (105249)

On 03/07/2009 at 8:40am - misc - by Noname - Pakistan (Islamabad)

Today, at a hard rock concert, a bunch of guys accidentally knocked down a port-a-potty while moshing. I was inside that port-a-potty. FML

#231694
155 comments

Today, I was telling my boyfriend I had fake orgasms all the time to piss him off. He replied: "that's okay, I'm f***ing three other girls." FML

#214447
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47879) - you deserved it (124746)

On 03/05/2009 at 1:01am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a customer opened with "you open bottles with them thangs?" I look around my desk for something he might confuse with an actual bottle opener. His girlfriend then informs me he is talking about my breasts. I work for a bank. FML

#176117
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38642) - you deserved it (3237)

On 03/01/2009 at 9:31pm - work - by bottlepoppin (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got my braces on. When we got in the car my dad looked over and said "well at least we dont have to worry about boys for the next two years." FML

#171168
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55845) - you deserved it (3924)

On 03/01/2009 at 2:45pm - misc - by jajaja (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my teacher confiscated my cell phone for text messaging. He said he would give it back if the next text that I would receive was important. I prayed the guy I've been texting didn't send the dick pic he said he was going to. He did. FML

#160435
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24251) - you deserved it (88190)

On 02/28/2009 at 12:03pm - intimacy - by textfail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I emailed my boyfriend from work. Out of habit, I absent-mindedly entered my department into the "From" field. My boyfriend didn't notice when he replied. Now my entire department knows I want to "drop to my knees and suck him when I get home." And he plans to "finish on my face." FML

#133145
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12277) - you deserved it (61584)

On 02/25/2009 at 1:41pm - work - by foolishgirl (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I just studied for 13.5 hours completely outlining a book for history. Thirty minutes before the test, I realized I had been reading the wrong book. FML

#112701
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32175) - you deserved it (36672)

On 02/23/2009 at 10:32am - work - by Nic (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML

#86179
717 comments

I agree, your life sucks (736156) - you deserved it (73979)

On 02/20/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by Mick (man) - United States (Colorado)



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