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ALlamaOnFire

Offline (the 06/28/2014 at 5:30pm) | Search for a member

ALlamaOnFire

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3015
  • Number of comments : 255
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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ALlamaOnFire's page activity

Visits<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 12:30am<b>moulchlo</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 10:10am<b>Bellatrix55</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 11:26am<b>pikawarriors</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 1:28am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 12:27pm<b>valkabow</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 8:47am<b>Draco295</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 11:54pm<b>TYRRELL</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 4:46pm<b>crosa19</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 1:11pm<b>incoherentrmblr</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 2:06am<b>FanOfAnimations</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 2:00pm<b>Annacakes72</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 11:32pm<b>cats54321</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 6:58pm<b>Luke1787</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 1:40am<b>nubbles10</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 12:14pm<b>jarrettd</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 2:25pm<b>Budderchook</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 9:40am<b>cracchiolo</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 10:52pm

ALlamaOnFire's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

See all of ALlamaOnFire's badges

ALlamaOnFire's favorite FMLs

Today, my grandpa was wearing flip flops and white socks. He entered my restroom, and the moment he did it, I realized there was no toilet paper left. I felt too ashamed to interrupt his dump, so I waited for him to ask for paper, he never did and came out without socks. FML

#6695644
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28211) - you deserved it (4761)

On 12/10/2009 at 4:03pm - misc - by dayum (man) - Mexico (Chihuahua)

Today, I decided to make myself a nice meal. I bought expensive pasta and sauce etc. It looked delicious, I decided the finishing touch would be some parmesan cheese. I grabbed the bag and threw a handful of cheese on my meal. The cheese was about 98% mould. FML

#6465466
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19227) - you deserved it (25240)

On 11/26/2009 at 5:11pm - misc - by garlicbread (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I realized that our generation will be remembered as the kids who liked sparkly vampires. FML

#6439149
341 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70179) - you deserved it (12067)

On 11/24/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by buhknee - United States (North Carolina)

Today, whilst singing at school in front of 300 visiting primary school children I forgot the second verse to my song and let out an F*** word with the microphone still up to my face. FML

#6364461
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7354) - you deserved it (33739)

On 11/19/2009 at 1:10am - kids - by fail (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend and I were sitting downstairs with my mom. We heard the dog running around upstairs and called it down. It came running down the stairs. With a used condom in its mouth. The same condom my girlfriend and I lost two weeks ago. It put it directly in my mom's hands. FML

#6356025
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17911) - you deserved it (7486)

On 11/18/2009 at 4:35pm - intimacy - by Tucker (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I invited my very animal phobic boyfriend over. I have a dog and a rabbit, who are always well behaved so I insisted they wouldn't do him any harm. My dog peed all over his shoes and my rabbit furiously humped his leg and wouldn't let go. He's now even more terrified of animals. FML

#6081192
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27266) - you deserved it (10637)

On 10/31/2009 at 7:08am - love - by Anon (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower, instead I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML

#5974378
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33746) - you deserved it (8852)

On 10/24/2009 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by sad_dad (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

#5828114
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87724) - you deserved it (14667)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was in the bathroom defecating when I felt something hanging there. I reached back with toilet paper and starting pulling it out inch by inch; 3 feet later I learned I had a tapeworm. Worst of all, no pharmacy has the med the doctor prescribed. I have to live with this thing until the med gets here. FML

#5276065
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61729) - you deserved it (3547)

On 09/15/2009 at 5:14pm - intimacy - by benander (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while riding in the car with my friends, we stopped at a red light. To our left, a very obese, middle aged man slowly unbuttoned his shirt and spread it out. He then stared at us while massaging his nipples with his thumb and index fingers for the duration of the red light. FML

#5034499
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45193) - you deserved it (5118)

On 09/04/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by Scarred (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out that the horrific smell coming from somewhere in my kitchen was a rotting dead mouse in my dishwasher. I have been eating off plates washed in dead-mouse water for the past week. FML

#4830976
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52956) - you deserved it (10038)

On 08/26/2009 at 4:44am - misc - by hantavirus (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had to take out the trash at work and I kept trying to throw it in the dumpster. After five tries I finally made it in. I was feeling pretty good since the bag was heavy. That was until I turned around and saw about 30 of my coworkers applauding and laughing at me. FML

#4795795
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27173) - you deserved it (6554)

On 08/24/2009 at 9:45pm - work - by Sailorjoe (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my boyfriend and his parents met my family. My grandpa thought it would be funny to walk around with a realistic gun and make references about being in the mafia. The rest of my family went along with it. FML

#4782445
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37540) - you deserved it (4826)

On 08/24/2009 at 11:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, in Burger King, I was leaning against the railing looking at the menu. I saw an old man using the rail to walk, so I got out of the way. He ran his hand across my back and said "You're so cute, I'd like to take you home and lock you in my basement naked so you can't leave" and walked out. FML

#4696975
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58763) - you deserved it (3401)

On 08/21/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I had a horrible breakup with my girlfriend of two years. Depressed, I changed my Facebook status to, "Hate me today, hate me tomorrow, hate me for all the things I didn't do for you." My ex commented, "Give me an orgasm?" Five of my friends, including my mom, liked this. FML

#4443925
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46278) - you deserved it (21131)

On 08/11/2009 at 2:40am - love - by JazzSpazz (man) - United States (California)



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