ALlamaOnFire

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Offline (the 01/18/2015 at 1:48pm)

ALlamaOnFire

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5291
  • Number of comments : 255
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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ALlamaOnFire's page activity

Visits<b>couchcat</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 11:41am<b>kpetrovski</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 12:23pm<b>nehaanoor</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 3:29pm<b>Aprilislegend</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 2:12pm<b>rouslov</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 3:42pm<b>cgowe4</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 10:33pm<b>moliknz</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 11:23pm<b>Cloco98</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 11:36am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 2:45pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 12:30am<b>moulchlo</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 10:10am<b>Bellatrix55</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 11:26am<b>pikawarriors</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 1:28am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 12:27pm<b>valkabow</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 8:47am<b>Draco295</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 11:54pm<b>TYRRELL</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 4:46pm<b>crosa19</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 1:11pm

ALlamaOnFire's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

See all of ALlamaOnFire's badges

ALlamaOnFire's favorite FMLs

Today, during an early morning preflight check, I spotted liquid pooling under the aircraft. I rubbed my fingers in it and sniffed. Good news? No dangerous fuel or hydraulic fluid leak. Bad news? My copilot was too lazy to walk back to the hangar to take a leak. FML

by Flyboy / 07/18/2010 at 1:02am / United States (California) / Work

Today, my grandfather died. The last thing he said to me was "You smell awful." I work in a fish store. FML

by Mangler / 06/22/2010 at 9:49am / Belgium (Antwerpen) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friends and I finished a 2 day, 40km bush walk. We parked a car at the finish of the track and drove another car to the start, so we could drive back and pick it up when we finished. At the end of the trek, I realised I had left the keys for the second car in the first car. FML

by frgn8r / 05/31/2010 at 7:59am / Australia (Western Australia) / Transportation

Today, as my boyfriend was unbuttoning my pants to go down on me, he looked at me and said in his best robot voice, "caution, contents may be stinky." FML

by shmelly / 04/16/2010 at 12:03am / United States / Intimacy

Today, while at the dog park, I suddenly had to use the bathroom really badly. Since there weren't any facilities nearby, I decided to go behind a tree and relieve myself there. While doing this, two other owners, one that's in my math class, noticed me, regardless of me hiding. She definitely saw everything. School will be fun tomorrow. FML

by Anonymous / 03/11/2010 at 5:44pm / United States (Alabama) / Animals

Today, I realized that I can still do the splits. Why? Because I fell down an entire flight of stairs, everyone in the hall saw me land and applauded. Someone even shouted "and she sticks the landing." FML

by misty_love / 03/10/2010 at 3:09am / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous

Today, my throat is really swollen so I can only drink liquid. I noticed home-made ice-lollies in the freezer and had one. It tasted funny. Turns out my little brother had peed in one of those ice-lolly box and put it in the freezer. FML

by icegirl38 / 03/03/2010 at 10:09am / Iceland (Gullbringusysla) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my dog farted. Immediately, he turned around to sniff his stink then furiously licked his butthole. He then licked my nose. FML

by aaalias34 / 02/26/2010 at 6:13am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I found a piece of rice in my belly button. I can't remember the last time I ate or handled rice. FML

by kerry / 01/20/2010 at 12:30am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom informed me that she saw me sleepwalking last night. I didn't think much of it, until I remembered that I went to bed without any clothes on last night. FML

by Anonymous / 12/29/2009 at 1:52pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, the police called and told me that they had Alex in custody. Apparently, she had public sex with another woman and wants me to come bail her out. Alex is my mom. FML

by runescapeftw / 12/29/2009 at 1:18pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, my mother confronted me about my bird's masturbation problem. We spent Christmas Eve Googling "bird masturbating" and watching videos to see if that was actually what my bird was doing. At least he's having a good Christmas. FML

by suuuuuupucci / 12/25/2009 at 1:25am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I ran into the living room when I heard the smoke alarm going off. Turns out, my friend thought it was a good idea to melt a plastic cup on my floor heater. He also thought the best way to put it out was to urinate on it. My house smells like burnt pee. FML

by neednewfriends / 12/19/2009 at 6:21pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the doctor to check the dark growth I just discovered on my back. It was chocolate. FML

by sillygoose / 12/13/2009 at 10:53pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I saw my four-year-old son running around outside, and copying everything our dog was doing. I thought it was cute, so I went to grab the camera. When I went back outside, I saw my dog eating a dead rabbit, and my son doing the same. FML

by Anonymous / 12/13/2009 at 7:42pm / United States (Texas) / Kids