Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ALlamaOnFire

Offline (the 06/28/2014 at 5:30pm) | Search for a member

ALlamaOnFire

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2699
  • Number of comments : 255
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

ALlamaOnFire's page activity

Visits<b>moulchlo</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 10:10am<b>Bellatrix55</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 11:26am<b>pikawarriors</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 1:28am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 12:27pm<b>valkabow</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 8:47am<b>Draco295</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 11:54pm<b>TYRRELL</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 4:46pm<b>crosa19</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 1:11pm<b>incoherentrmblr</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 2:06am<b>FanOfAnimations</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 2:00pm<b>Annacakes72</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 11:32pm<b>cats54321</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 6:58pm<b>Luke1787</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 1:40am<b>nubbles10</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 12:14pm<b>jarrettd</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 2:25pm<b>Budderchook</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 9:40am<b>cracchiolo</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 10:52pm<b>ImAFaker</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 12:08am

ALlamaOnFire's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

See all of ALlamaOnFire's badges

ALlamaOnFire's favorite FMLs

Today, it was my first day as an animal control officer. My first dispatch was to collect a dog that had been hit by a car. I had to clean up my dead dog on my first day of a job that barely pays rent. FML

#16245376
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52541) - you deserved it (3723)

On 05/18/2011 at 10:48pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML

#16205540
343 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61875) - you deserved it (9674)

On 05/16/2011 at 12:33pm - health - by Bobby M - Ireland (Carlow)

Today, my girlfriend asked if we could spice up our sex life. She didn't think it was too funny when I laid out all of our spices on the bed. She now refuses to have sex. FML

#16200408
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20234) - you deserved it (60835)

On 05/16/2011 at 1:40am - intimacy - by phoenix101 -

Today, I went for a job interview. I was asked if I wanted a drink. I have no idea why, but I replied "a bottle of milk please." FML

#15855605
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19118) - you deserved it (29515)

On 04/20/2011 at 4:10am - work - by bham boy -

Today, feeling social, I went to a bar. During a trip to the dimly lit restroom, I fixed my makeup, and carefully penciling my sparse eyebrows. After an evening of meeting new people, I went home. In my well-lighted restroom, I discovered that my eyebrow pencil was actually my bright red lip liner. FML

#15705121
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17881) - you deserved it (30190)

On 04/09/2011 at 3:52am - misc - by 2classicNot2 (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was in the emergency room. The doctor told me that my injuries and back problems are the intensity of those after a car accident. I slipped on a grape. FML

#15691583
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35259) - you deserved it (4936)

On 04/08/2011 at 6:35am - health - by ridella -

Today, I had my boyfriend come over for dinner for the first time. It was all going well until my dad started explaining to my boyfriend how to use toilet paper. He even demonstrated it. FML

#15001986
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29489) - you deserved it (2814)

On 02/16/2011 at 12:03pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I noticed that after a month of using my gel, it never seems to empty. I then found out my older brother and his friends had been pumping their man-juice into it. FML

#14838014
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68114) - you deserved it (6266)

On 02/04/2011 at 9:08am - intimacy - by theish -

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she met someone else on World of Warcraft. I've been paying for her subscription. FML

#14783005
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34923) - you deserved it (13685)

On 01/31/2011 at 12:58am - love - by Thanh Quang -

Today, while presenting a project I've worked on for months, one of the professors exasperatedly cut in mid-sentence, saying, "Look, it's shit. Just stop already." FML

#14742599
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28801) - you deserved it (4105)

On 01/28/2011 at 12:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Slovakia (Bratislava)

Today, trying to be an old-school romantic, I asked my girlfriend "where art thou my love?" via SMS. She replied "Toilet." FML

#14659588
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14515) - you deserved it (26576)

On 01/21/2011 at 6:41am - love - by gummy bear -

Today, I broke my nose by sneezing too close to a table. FML

#14614721
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25031) - you deserved it (6886) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 3:13pm - health - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, my boyfriend cancelled our vacation plans because I'll be on my period, arguing that, "It wouldn't be a real holiday." FML

#14613106
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28622) - you deserved it (7562) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 11:44am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, during a drunken night out, a really trashed friend said to me, "Jeez, even when I’m drunk, you're really ugly." FML

#14613103
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28329) - you deserved it (3598) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 11:44am - love - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, my dad’s best friend, who has been his business associate for the past 28 years, took me to a Star Wars store for my 18th birthday. He put on a Darth Vader helmet, and imitating his voice, said: "I am your father." I laughed. It wasn’t a joke. FML

#14610612
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43916) - you deserved it (2995) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: