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ALlamaOnFire

Offline (the 06/28/2014 at 5:30pm) | Search for a member

ALlamaOnFire

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2458
  • Number of comments : 255
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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ALlamaOnFire's page activity

Visits<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 12:27pm<b>valkabow</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 8:47am<b>Draco295</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 11:54pm<b>TYRRELL</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 4:46pm<b>crosa19</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 1:11pm<b>incoherentrmblr</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 2:06am<b>FanOfAnimations</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 2:00pm<b>Annacakes72</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 11:32pm<b>cats54321</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 6:58pm<b>Luke1787</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 1:40am<b>nubbles10</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 12:14pm<b>jarrettd</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 2:25pm<b>Budderchook</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 9:40am<b>cracchiolo</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 10:52pm<b>ImAFaker</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 12:08am<b>PageantGirlXOXO</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 2:34am<b>snipesnaker31</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 8:56pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 7:40pm

ALlamaOnFire's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

See all of ALlamaOnFire's badges

ALlamaOnFire's favorite FMLs

Today, a neo-Nazi stopped me and commented on my blue eyes and blonde hair. He went on to explain that I could be "pure", and should follow him and other Aryans in the campaign to eliminate Jews, and other "abominations". Good thing he didn't see the Star of David necklace around my neck. FML

#18067303
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43644) - you deserved it (3328)

On 10/24/2011 at 9:46pm - misc - by KaySchrages92 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my twin boys who are 5 decided to teach each other how to fly off the shed out back. They are still in their pajamas. Batman's arm is broken and Spiderman has a slight concussion. FML

#18022351
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32041) - you deserved it (6335)

On 10/19/2011 at 10:03am - kids - by optimistic2628 - United States

Today, after getting dumped by my boyfriend, I tried to find comfort in one of my closest friends. He embraced me while I struggled against tears, and after a few moments of silence said, "Hey, you know what? I would fuck you anytime. Anytime." FML

#17973250
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32971) - you deserved it (9117)

On 10/13/2011 at 3:19am - intimacy - by scewable (woman) - United States (California)

Today, during my first date with a girl I've liked for awhile, she tells me about some minor disabilities she was born with. Wanting to be honest with her too, I tell her I'm slightly autistic. Her response was, "I'm sorry this isn't going to work. I can't date a retard." I had to eat alone after that. FML

#17948133
352 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45953) - you deserved it (3357)

On 10/09/2011 at 11:27pm - love - by DyingPlants (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML

#17556947
403 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30106) - you deserved it (5650)

On 08/23/2011 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Andrew (man) - United States

Today, my little brother proudly informed me that he found a way to suck pool water up his asshole. FML

#17487267
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32932) - you deserved it (2845)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:22am - kids - by Gross... (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, since I'm too ashamed to go buy a proper sex toy, I used an old Star Wars toy sword instead. FML

#17436824
398 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11677) - you deserved it (51133)

On 08/11/2011 at 1:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, I took my clothes off in front of my girlfriend for the first time. She made a weird face for a moment, then burst into laughter. She couldn't stop laughing, no matter how hard she tried. FML

#17398167
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36238) - you deserved it (4416)

On 08/07/2011 at 3:43pm - intimacy - by Eddie (man) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, I learned that I'm allergic to hornets. I also learned that when your mom sprays a hornets' nest, and they come after you, that jumping in the pool doesn't help. They hover and wait for you to surface. FML

#17248199
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36216) - you deserved it (3118)

On 07/25/2011 at 12:14am - health - by sisi9999 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend poops with "This is war" playing on his phone, and makes war sounds corresponding with his poop dropping. FML

#17226602
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28460) - you deserved it (4181)

On 07/23/2011 at 3:49am - love - by MaHalKiTa (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while in line at a gas station, I felt something on my shoulder. I turned around only to see a woman behind me pulling the sunburnt skin off my shoulder. When I told her to stop, she yelled, hit me with her purse and ran off crying. FML

#17188929
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43423) - you deserved it (3561)

On 07/20/2011 at 9:38am - misc - by therundown - United States (Ohio)

Today, I peeked through my window and trained a pair of binoculars on my neighbour's house. Every night without fail, he ends up standing in front of his window topless to flex his muscles. This time, I was surprised to instead find a note taped to the window saying, "Sorry, I'm out tonight." FML

#17032745
375 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10427) - you deserved it (75477) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/08/2011 at 8:11pm - love - by Anonyme - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend said that to be extra careful he's been taking my birth control pills too. FML

#16879378
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60380) - you deserved it (7436)

On 06/27/2011 at 9:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I shat out a staple. FML

#16576766
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37459) - you deserved it (16307)

On 06/09/2011 at 11:04am - health - by wtf - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, my toilet decided it wouldn't take any more shit from me, and flooded the bathroom. FML

#16299538
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36301) - you deserved it (5987)

On 05/22/2011 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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