ALlamaOnFire

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Offline (the 01/18/2015 at 1:48pm)

ALlamaOnFire

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5166
  • Number of comments : 255
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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ALlamaOnFire's page activity

Visits<b>couchcat</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 11:41am<b>kpetrovski</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 12:23pm<b>nehaanoor</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 3:29pm<b>Aprilislegend</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 2:12pm<b>rouslov</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 3:42pm<b>cgowe4</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 10:33pm<b>moliknz</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 11:23pm<b>Cloco98</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 11:36am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 2:45pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 12:30am<b>moulchlo</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 10:10am<b>Bellatrix55</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 11:26am<b>pikawarriors</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 1:28am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 12:27pm<b>valkabow</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 8:47am<b>Draco295</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 11:54pm<b>TYRRELL</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 4:46pm<b>crosa19</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 1:11pm

ALlamaOnFire's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

See all of ALlamaOnFire's badges

ALlamaOnFire's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized I've been confusing scenes from The Lord of the Rings with American history. FML

by Avery / 03/24/2012 at 4:06pm / United States (California) / Geek

Today, I decided to hit on a very attractive girl. I guess I was too drunk to remember it was my family reunion. FML

by Austin Franklin / 03/18/2012 at 7:41am / United States / Love

Today, I walked into the kitchen to eat some breakfast. I got a full visual of my drunk neighbor dancing naked in my backyard. FML

by vanorav / 03/17/2012 at 10:41pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my therapist gave me some great self-sufficiency advice. It sounded familiar. When I got home I realized she had been quoting Christina Aguilera songs. For £100 an hour. FML

by PixieWrists / 03/13/2012 at 1:33pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Health

Today, my family started their own version of the Hunger Games. With farts as their ammo, they've been tackling and gassing everyone until their victim "dies" by surrendering. My house is a flatulent war zone, and I fear waking up blind. FML

by district12 / 02/18/2012 at 5:22pm / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Health

Today, my dog attacked me because I had a chicken costume on for a party. I'm currently in a hospital, dressed as a chicken, waiting for medical assistance. FML

by lulu / 02/11/2012 at 5:19am / United States (Ohio) / Animals

Today, I got punched by a man for making fun of his stutter. I didn't. I stutter too. FML

by Sam / 02/02/2012 at 11:00pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML

by anon / 01/18/2012 at 1:29pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, while I was peacefully sleeping, I felt a hand suddenly slap my forehead. Then fingers began to press against my mouth, then nose, then eyes. I finally woke up to my girlfriend laughing hysterically. She'd confused me with her clock-radio. FML

by Vitriol / 01/15/2012 at 1:14pm / France / Love

Today, I received a letter from the state saying my 14-year-old daughter is now legally recognized as a male. I have no idea what happened. FML

by Anonymous / 01/10/2012 at 12:43pm / India / Kids

Today, I was so bored that I began searching for videos of people popping their pimples. FML

by nolife / 12/29/2011 at 7:03am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was driving home from work when I saw the woman in the car in front of me throw something out the window. Only when it landed on my windshield did I realize what it was. A bloody tampon. FML

by anonymous / 12/27/2011 at 5:32pm / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, I walked into my elderly grandmother's trailer, used the bathroom and went to wash my hands. She had a soft spot in the floor that she covered with a bathmat. I fell through. Right leg up to my hip in the floor, boobs stuck on the counter. My husband and grandmother stood there laughing. FML

by Anonymous / 12/27/2011 at 12:13pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, after returning to the UK from my Australian holiday, I was fired from my job for no reason. My boss told me he'd waited till I'd returned to do it. I could have stayed in Australia with my mates traveling for a year if I had been fired before I left. I'm sure he did it on purpose. FML

by Anonymous / 12/14/2011 at 11:53am / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Holidays

Today, I found out that the gentle, adorable oral surgeon who took out my wisdom teeth last year was recently arrested for rape. FML

by Anonymous / 12/03/2011 at 1:43am / United States (California) / Health