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A83

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A83
  • Town/Country : Amsterdam, The Netherlands
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 17 August 1989 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 8850
  • Number of comments : 113
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About A83 : A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

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A83's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at a bar talking to a very attractive young woman. I began to see that she wanted me as she pulled closer and closer. Eventually she pulled me in and licked my ear lobe sensually. She then said, "I wanna break your collar bone." in a seductive tone. FML

#1681747
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57907) - you deserved it (6718)

On 05/06/2009 at 12:13am - love - by Jinthebar (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was in the grocery store buying a few things. A sales associate came over the intercom system saying, "Attention Safeway customers. If you drive a blue Subaru, it's rolling into 18th Ave." Everyone laughed except me. I forgot to set the brake. FML

#1582380
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14892) - you deserved it (33233)

On 05/03/2009 at 1:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the page and wrote "OMG." FML

#853708
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (88006) - you deserved it (26171)

On 04/07/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by aviators (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the page and wrote "OMG." FML

#853708
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (88006) - you deserved it (26171)

On 04/07/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by aviators (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend was in the shower, and I decided to go join him. I took all my clothes off and stepped into the bathroom. I slipped on some water, and ended up hitting my head on the toilet and passing out. When I came to, I saw my boyfriend's dad looking over me in his towel. Wrong person. FML

#796416
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70647) - you deserved it (38772)

On 04/04/2009 at 4:04am - intimacy - by showerstupid (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while babysitting, the oldest little girl who is 7 went through my purse. She pulled out a half empty bottle of lube. She asked what it was and I told her lotion. I went to the bathroom and when I came out, the bottle was empty and there were 4 kids covered in lube. Then their mom came home. FML

#142269
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39160) - you deserved it (23600)

On 02/26/2009 at 11:08am - kids - by iailwkrb (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to the doctor for my yearly checkup. After getting my blood-pressure taken, my finger pricked, etc, the doctor began to ask me some questions. When asked if I was sexually active, I responded "Yes". The doctor started laughing. FML

#61591
9 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42999) - you deserved it (2845)

On 02/17/2009 at 4:54pm - intimacy - by jons (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was playing with 3 kids I look after. The middle one has just learned about sex and started chanting that I had done it with the eldest as a joke. We were in the garden and the neighbours heard. Now I am fired, have to leave the house and am being investigated by the police. FML

#4463
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54724) - you deserved it (2322)

On 02/01/2009 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Jack - United Kingdom (London)

Today, the real estate guy came with potential buyers to visit my house. He opened my bedroom while I was wanking. FML

#22
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47210) - you deserved it (34892)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:31am - intimacy - by rmL -

Today, my dog was watching me and started to have a hard-on, for half an hour. FML

#20
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41640) - you deserved it (7157)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:29am - animals - by aXel -

Today, I woke up and switched on the TV. The first thing I saw was a picture of a wanted rapist, who looks just like me. I'm afraid to leave home. FML

#8
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (266635) - you deserved it (23311)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:20am - misc - by mehdi -



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