A83

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Offline (the 09/10/2014 at 1:17am)

A83

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 17 August 1989 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 11257
  • Number of comments : 113
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About A83 : A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

A83's page activity

Visits<b>BlondBombShll88</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 5:13pm<b>sameboysamesame</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 1:42am<b>Soccerboi15</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 10:17pm<b>ziul123</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 11:57am<b>w_chen2511</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 9:12am<b>OriginalAndBest</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 8:42am<b>Tyde</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 1:49pm<b>razi1</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 10:43pm<b>anniesje</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 7:03pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 1:55am<b>xxdesi93xx</b> - the 11/19/2013 at 3:25pm<b>im_hyper</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 6:47pm<b>Kaylee_Knudsen</b> - the 10/07/2013 at 9:23am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 09/17/2013 at 8:16am<b>byramzd</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 4:59pm<b>LtBoom</b> - the 09/13/2013 at 3:43am<b>Dennisse_47</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 12:03am<b>hawkeyepeirce</b> - the 09/09/2013 at 5:32pm

A83's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

See all of A83's badges

A83's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at a bar talking to a very attractive young woman. I began to see that she wanted me as she pulled closer and closer. Eventually she pulled me in and licked my ear lobe sensually. She then said, "I wanna break your collar bone." in a seductive tone. FML

by Jinthebar / 05/06/2009 at 12:13am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was in the grocery store buying a few things. A sales associate came over the intercom system saying, "Attention Safeway customers. If you drive a blue Subaru, it's rolling into 18th Ave." Everyone laughed except me. I forgot to set the brake. FML

by Anonymous / 05/03/2009 at 1:35am / United States (Missouri) / Transportation

Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the page and wrote "OMG." FML

by aviators / 04/07/2009 at 2:37pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the page and wrote "OMG." FML

by aviators / 04/07/2009 at 2:37pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, my boyfriend was in the shower, and I decided to go join him. I took all my clothes off and stepped into the bathroom. I slipped on some water, and ended up hitting my head on the toilet and passing out. When I came to, I saw my boyfriend's dad looking over me in his towel. Wrong person. FML

by showerstupid / 04/04/2009 at 4:04am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to help, I slowly say, "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says, "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

by Tourist / 03/26/2009 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on the bus going to formal for my sorority. I was sitting in the 5th row of the bus when I felt raindrops on my face coming through the open window. I then realized it wasn't raining, but the girl in the 1st row was throwing up out her window and it was coming back in through my window. FML

by Anonymous / 03/22/2009 at 6:40pm / United States (Ohio) / Transportation

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, while babysitting, the oldest little girl who is 7 went through my purse. She pulled out a half empty bottle of lube. She asked what it was and I told her lotion. I went to the bathroom and when I came out, the bottle was empty and there were 4 kids covered in lube. Then their mom came home. FML

by iailwkrb / 02/26/2009 at 11:08am / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

Today, I went to the doctor for my yearly checkup. After getting my blood-pressure taken, my finger pricked, etc, the doctor began to ask me some questions. When asked if I was sexually active, I responded "Yes". The doctor started laughing. FML

by jons / 02/17/2009 at 4:54pm / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy

Today, I was playing with 3 kids I look after. The middle one has just learned about sex and started chanting that I had done it with the eldest as a joke. We were in the garden and the neighbours heard. Now I am fired, have to leave the house and am being investigated by the police. FML

by Jack / 02/01/2009 at 3:54am / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy

Today, the real estate guy came with potential buyers to visit my house. He opened my bedroom while I was wanking. FML

by rmL / 10/13/2008 at 4:31am / Intimacy

Today, my dog was watching me and started to have a hard-on, for half an hour. FML

by aXel / 10/13/2008 at 4:29am / Animals

Today, I woke up and switched on the TV. The first thing I saw was a picture of a wanted rapist, who looks just like me. I'm afraid to leave home. FML

by mehdi / 10/13/2008 at 4:20am / Miscellaneous