About A83 : I'm a decent person.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Perfectionist
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
Today, I was at a bar talking to a very attractive young woman. I began to see that she wanted me as she pulled closer and closer. Eventually she pulled me in and licked my ear lobe sensually. She then said, "I wanna break your collar bone." in a seductive tone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55098) - you deserved it (5532)
On 05/06/2009 at 12:13am - love - by Jinthebar (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was in the grocery store buying a few things. A sales associate came over the intercom system saying, "Attention Safeway customers. If you drive a blue Subaru, it's rolling into 18th Ave." Everyone laughed except me. I forgot to set the brake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14641) - you deserved it (32757)
On 05/03/2009 at 1:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the page and wrote "OMG." FML
I agree, your life sucks (79976) - you deserved it (21095)
On 04/07/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by aviators (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the page and wrote "OMG." FML
I agree, your life sucks (79976) - you deserved it (21095)
On 04/07/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by aviators (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my boyfriend was in the shower, and I decided to go join him. I took all my clothes off and stepped into the bathroom. I slipped on some water, and ended up hitting my head on the toilet and passing out. When I came to, I saw my boyfriend's dad looking over me in his towel. Wrong person. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66451) - you deserved it (32272)
On 04/04/2009 at 4:04am - intimacy - by showerstupid (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (198832) - you deserved it (58763)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to be a diplomat, I slowly say "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53172) - you deserved it (417439)
On 03/26/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Tourist (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was on the bus going to formal for my sorority. I was sitting in the 5th row of the bus when I felt raindrops on my face coming through the open window. I then realized it wasn't raining, but the girl in the 1st row was throwing up out her window and it was coming back in through my window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (125537) - you deserved it (8054)
On 03/22/2009 at 6:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (459811) - you deserved it (571382)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, while babysitting, the oldest little girl who is 7 went through my purse. She pulled out a half empty bottle of lube. She asked what it was and I told her lotion. I went to the bathroom and when I came out, the bottle was empty and there were 4 kids covered in lube. Then their mom came home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35219) - you deserved it (19890)
On 02/26/2009 at 11:08am - kids - by iailwkrb (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I went to the doctor for my yearly checkup. After getting my blood-pressure taken, my finger pricked, etc, the doctor began to ask me some questions. When asked if I was sexually active, I responded "Yes". The doctor started laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38746) - you deserved it (2324)
On 02/17/2009 at 4:54pm - intimacy - by jons (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was playing with 3 kids I look after. The middle one has just learned about sex and started chanting that I had done it with the eldest as a joke. We were in the garden and the neighbours heard. Now I am fired, have to leave the house and am being investigated by the police. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51605) - you deserved it (1983)
On 02/01/2009 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Jack - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was at a bar in Canada and was really hitting it off with a girl. She asked how big my junk was and I told her in inches... They use centimeters. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17473) - you deserved it (33179)
On 01/29/2009 at 10:32am - intimacy - by KD - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, the real estate guy came with potential buyers to visit my house. He opened my bedroom while I was wanking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41382) - you deserved it (26794)
On 10/13/2008 at 4:31am - intimacy - by rmL -
Today, my dog was watching me and started to have a hard-on, for half an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39090) - you deserved it (6080)
On 10/13/2008 at 4:29am - animals - by aXel -
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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