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About A83 : I'm a decent person.
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, while I was peacefully sleeping, I felt a hand suddenly slap my forehead. Then fingers began to press against my mouth, then nose, then eyes. I finally woke up to my girlfriend laughing hysterically. She'd confused me with her clock-radio. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7224) - you deserved it (953) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, my girlfriend dumped me. Her exact words used were "I like the idea of you, but I don't like you." I still don't know what that means. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9857) - you deserved it (1025)
On 11/16/2011 at 12:23am - love - by dharp7 (man) - United States (California)
Today, my balls were stepped on while I was taking a nap in the park. The man said he didn't see me lying there. I was wearing a neon orange jacket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8510) - you deserved it (2864)
On 10/15/2011 at 12:33am - misc - by dak-rod423 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26263) - you deserved it (3149)
On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my parents overheard me having sex with my girlfriend. They thought it would be funny to barge in with nothing but underwear on. This has happened twice now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24631) - you deserved it (16673)
On 09/10/2011 at 11:46am - intimacy - by RetroDayDreamer - United States (Texas)
Today, my mom baked cupcakes for my visiting grandparents. Later, I saw my grandpa chowing down on them. Even later, my mom demanded to know why there were a dozen cupcake wrappers on my bed. I've essentially been framed by my own grandpa, and am now grounded for a month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23246) - you deserved it (1577)
On 09/09/2011 at 9:57pm - kids - by why?! (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my husband declined a $100k/year job due to him thinking that a full time job at one work place would be too 'depressing'. I'm a nurse and have to wipe other people's arses for a living, then come home to this lazy dick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34125) - you deserved it (5582)
On 08/09/2011 at 9:48am - work - by Lauren - Australia (South Australia)
Today, my boyfriend dumped me by writing a breakup note with permanent marker on my newly painted bedroom wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28789) - you deserved it (1985)
On 08/03/2011 at 12:47pm - love - by thedancer5 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, it started pouring while I was in the middle of a pizza delivery. I had to stand out in the rain for ten minutes while an old redneck dude wearing nothing but camo boxers fumbled around for the exact change to pay the bill. I think seeing his junk was supposed to count as my tip. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21777) - you deserved it (1680)
On 07/30/2011 at 4:02pm - intimacy - by womboman - United States
Today, I Googled my ex-husband only to find that in the years since we've split he now fancies himself as a stand-up comic. His material? Our sex life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26637) - you deserved it (5911)
On 07/17/2011 at 12:20am - intimacy - by it_IS_just_me (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on for the first time. Just as I was about to climax, I spotted my greatest fear, a big wasp, only a few inches away from me. I shuddered and made a very unmanly orgasm wail. She now refuses to have sex because she says I "turned her off forever". FML
I agree, your life sucks (28192) - you deserved it (7368)
On 06/07/2011 at 4:07pm - intimacy - by Punk (man) - United States
Today, my girlfriend asked if we could spice up our sex life. She didn't think it was too funny when I laid out all of our spices on the bed. She now refuses to have sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15407) - you deserved it (44128)
On 05/16/2011 at 1:40am - intimacy - by phoenix101 -
Today, I found out I was born as a result of someone switching my mom's birth control pills with tic tac. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36113) - you deserved it (2727)
Today, I tried to get my wife to have sex with me, she told me she couldn't because she had her period. She's two months pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35927) - you deserved it (7628)
On 04/20/2011 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by Andrew - United States
Today, I went for a job interview. I was asked if I wanted a drink. I have no idea why, but I replied "a bottle of milk please." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14803) - you deserved it (20445)
On 04/20/2011 at 4:10am - work - by bham boy -
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