About A713 : INTP.
A713's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
A713's favorite FMLs
by thewallrules / 12/05/2009 at 9:10am / United States (North Dakota) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to Walmart with my girlfriend. We bought the usual, food, Advil and condoms. While I waited in line, she went to grab everything. When she came back, I looked in the cart and saw no condoms. I asked her why she didn't get any. She replied "They ran out of smalls." Everyone laughed. FML
by xXxJoe16xXx / 12/01/2009 at 4:11pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by Jen / 12/01/2009 at 12:25pm / United States (Virginia) / Work
Today, I spoke with my boyfriend's crazy ex-girlfriend. Actually, she isn't all that crazy. He really did cheat on her with half a dozen other girls. The same girls he's apparently cheating on me with. How do I know for sure? Thank you crazy ex for his email passwords. FML
by Anonymous / 11/29/2009 at 9:06pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
by Nomoresandwish / 11/29/2009 at 3:55am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, while at a hotel for vacation with my brother and his wife, I was watching their two-month old daughter in the waterpark when a woman came up to me and said, "Aww your kid is so adorable! Don't worry, you'll get your figure back in no time." I'm a fourteen year old girl. FML
by Shannon / 11/28/2009 at 9:14pm / United States (Louisiana) / Holidays
Today, I went shopping with some friends. We were tired from walking around the mall all night, so we decided to sit and relax at a table. I was about to close my eyes when I got smacked on the forehead by an orange falling from the second floor of the mall. FML
by Orangehead / 11/28/2009 at 12:06am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Fmyoffice / 11/27/2009 at 2:51pm / United Kingdom (Lincolnshire) / Work
by Nick / 11/27/2009 at 5:11am / United Kingdom (Essex) / Miscellaneous
Today, I kissed my iced over window to know what kissing Edward Cullen would be like. My neighbor saw. My first reaction was to come up with a cover story. I licked the window and wiped my sleeve over it to look like I was cleaning it. My neighbor came over later and gave me an early Christmas gift. Windex. FML
by obsessed / 11/27/2009 at 12:12am / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
Today, I saw one of my favorite hockey players in public. I had met him once before, and to my shock, he remembered me. I was pretty excited until he started talking to his friend in French. He didn't seem to realize that I'm fluent in the language. He basically called me "ugly psycho bitch." FML
by frenchgirl / 11/23/2009 at 1:59am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, my friend called me freaking out because of an online pregnancy test. She was scared because she had no idea that she was pregnant, let alone having a fifteen pound baby. The website is a joke. She goes to an Ivy League school, and I couldn't even get into community college. FML
by Anonymous / 11/23/2009 at 12:21am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to a rock concert and met this amazing girl. We started talking and then swapped cell numbers. Five minutes later, she asks to see my cellphone, so I gave it to her. Once I got home I went to text her and saw that she deleted her number. FML
by SeeBrendenBurn / 11/21/2009 at 3:28am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I found out I will not be getting my class ring. The jeweler has a policy against doing engravings that contain "obscene or offensive language or phrases". What obscene phrase did I want? My initials and year. W.T.F. 2010. FML
by Grad2010 / 11/18/2009 at 2:41pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I asked my boss a simple question about a problem I was having with a project I am currently doing. He replied: ''You don't worry your sweet little ass about it babe". My boss is my girlfriend's father. Nice. FML
by GiWi / 11/18/2009 at 11:45am / Ireland (Cork) / Work