About A713 : INTP.
A713's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
A713's favorite FMLs
Today, I locked my keys in my car and called AAA. He got out to take a look at my car, and he locked himself out of his own car with his tools inside. It took us 40 minutes with a screwdriver and stick to unlock his car and 40 seconds to unlock mine after. 9 hours later, I found my extra key. FML
by Dani / 01/12/2010 at 4:51pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 01/12/2010 at 12:52pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous
Today, at a bar, a woman approched me and tried to set me up with her friend. Looking around, the only people in the bar were a man reading the paper and a very ugly woman, looking at me and smiling. I worriedly replied, "I'm sorry, but I'm gay." Turns out her friend was the one reading the paper. FML
by awkward23 / 01/12/2010 at 5:26am / United States (Washington) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/11/2010 at 3:09am / United States (New York) / Kids
by squirrel / 01/09/2010 at 12:01am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was babysitting a new child. I guess she heard me tell her parents about my severe peanut allergy because she got a jar out of the pantry, spread it all over the stairs leading to where her fort was, and walked around with a baseball bat covered in it so I couldn't come near her. FML
by PeanutlyDisabled / 01/08/2010 at 2:23am / France / Kids
Today, I went to the DMV to renew my license. When I gave the woman behind the desk my name and social security number she looked confused. She then called over her manager, who did the same thing. Getting nervous, I asked what was wrong. Apparently according to the state of Illinois I'm dead. FML
by driver / 01/06/2010 at 9:55am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation
Today, I found out that I have been declared dead by my credit card company in England because I haven't used it since I moved to Thailand last year. I will need three witnesses to convince them that I am actually alive. FML
by Arsinoe / 01/05/2010 at 7:02pm / United Kingdom (Reading) / Money
by loser / 01/03/2010 at 7:00am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/29/2009 at 1:52pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I came home from a year long backpacking trip in Europe. During my absence my parents divorced, dad took the house and most of the money, sister is seven months pregnant, brother was arrested for statutory rape, and my mom pawned all my stuff to buy booze to "cope." Oh, and my fish died. FML
by Anonymous / 12/28/2009 at 7:08am / United States (Washington) / Holidays
by ITalkGood / 12/27/2009 at 7:37pm / Love
by reconnect / 12/27/2009 at 1:30am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
Today, at work a female co-worker was struggling with a stack of boxes in her hands. Her pantyhose was falling down and she asked me to help her. So I pulled up her pantyhose. When I looked up, she had a horrified look on her face. She was asking me to help her hold the boxes. FML
by harrassment101 / 12/25/2009 at 3:10am / United States (California) / Work
Today, my mother confronted me about my bird's masturbation problem. We spent Christmas Eve Googling "bird masturbating" and watching videos to see if that was actually what my bird was doing. At least he's having a good Christmas. FML
by suuuuuupucci / 12/25/2009 at 1:25am / United States (California) / Animals
- Today, after recently moving to Australia, I saw my first kangaroo. In the refrigerated section of… Today, I’m a student in China, and I attended a welcoming party for the new students. It consisted… Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that…