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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my girlfriend told me she lost her phone and not to call or text her. After about three hours, I text her phone, asking if she found it yet. I got a reply, saying "Nope." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32153) - you deserved it (3763)
On 10/01/2009 at 4:07pm - misc - by dumbass (man) - United States (Pennsylvania) - moderated by Kevin Nealon
Today, I got an iPhone, I was excited and because I have a new number I wanted to mess with my girl a little. I started sending her provocative messages, and after 4 or 5 of them, I discovered I had entered her number wrong and was talking dirty to a man named Noah. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3622) - you deserved it (16812)
On 09/29/2009 at 8:48pm - intimacy - by pummy (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend who had just been awakened by her own fart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51895) - you deserved it (3372)
On 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by P0wned (man) - France (Bretagne)
Today, I went to a school committee meeting. I sat opposite my boyfriend. To get his attention I began stroking his crotch area with my leg. The principal stood up 5 minutes later pulling me under the table. My tights were caught in his zipper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4987) - you deserved it (19865)
On 09/29/2009 at 3:45pm - intimacy - by clumssyXO (woman) - Hungary (Veszprem)
Today, I open my front door and saw a covered basket with a card from my girlfriend on it. I picked it up and read, "Hope this cheers you up." I uncovered the basket to find a golden labrador puppy. Its eyes were closed and it wasn't breathing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51573) - you deserved it (1632)
On 09/29/2009 at 12:17am - misc - by rainedaddy (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I finally found out that someone had stolen my debit card and maxed it out. The good news? Whoever it was forgot to change the address on the card, so everything they bought online has been shipped to me. The bad news? I've received 16 snuggies so far, and I'm still counting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33774) - you deserved it (2173)
On 09/28/2009 at 4:36pm - money - by SnuggieOverload (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was cleaning out from underneath my bed and found a used condom. I've never had sex in my own room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16061) - you deserved it (1304)
On 09/24/2009 at 4:57pm - intimacy - by Madison43097 (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, the weird receptionist at the hotel I'm staying at asked me if I needed an extra blanket because I "looked cold in my sleep last night". FML
I agree, your life sucks (49747) - you deserved it (1568)
On 09/24/2009 at 5:50am - misc - by scaredtosleep (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I woke up from a nap on my new bed to see my phone lit up with new texts. My friend sent out "Wanna test out my new bed?" as a mass text while I was asleep to every boy in my phone. Mark will be here in an hour, Jon wants to know what I'm wearing, and my ex's new girlfriend is not amused. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28065) - you deserved it (2260)
On 09/20/2009 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anathema_360 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I visited home. My drunk mother was screaming to my drunk stepdad about a fight four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "Orgasm face." And the neighbors were dancing outside coked out and naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56725) - you deserved it (2967)
On 09/19/2009 at 12:55am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was at work and my mother texted me. The text read, "You take a nice picture." To which I responded, "what picture?" I then got a reply saying, "The one on your speeding ticket showing you going 73 in a 55 mph zone. You are even smiling." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6082) - you deserved it (27481)
On 09/18/2009 at 7:28pm - misc - by asdfas (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was in the 'intimacy' section of Walmart. After grabbing 2 boxes of condoms and a vibrating ring I turn around to see my ex boyfriend's mom. I smile awkwardly and put my head down as I walk away, causing me to colide with his dad and send my 'goodies' all over the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15335) - you deserved it (4059)
On 09/17/2009 at 2:45pm - intimacy - by RahiYeah09 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I got my wisdom teeth pulled. Apparently the medicines don't work on me. I woke up in the middle of the surgery and felt EVERYTHING. One of the nurses asked if I was okay, and the doctor just kept saying "Don't worry she's just dreaming", while tears were pouring down my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41478) - you deserved it (1352)
On 09/17/2009 at 10:31am - health - by NoPainNoGain (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I pulled someone over for speeding. He was only 10 over the speed limit so I gave him an $84 fine. It turns out he is a workplace Occupational Health and Safety officer and because I wasn't wearing my high visibilty vest while standing on the side of the road he gave me a $250 fine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16596) - you deserved it (57173)
On 09/17/2009 at 6:57am - work - by auscop (man) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I went on a blind date. We had agreed on meeting in front of a park. Thinking I was there first, I texted her "I'm already there, sitting next to the fat chick." I heard a beep. SHE was the "fat chick." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15359) - you deserved it (68100)
On 09/16/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by sarahh38 (man) - Canada (Quebec)
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