Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

999pun999

Search for a member

999pun999

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 420
  • Number of comments : 50
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

999pun999's page activity

Visits<b>byramzd</b> - the 07/01/2013 at 10:29pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:23pm

999pun999's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

999pun999's favorite FMLs

Today, after ordering pizza, I heard some strange noises coming from my basement so I called the cops. The pizza came fifteen minutes before the cops. FML

#16848104
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31205) - you deserved it (4841)

On 06/25/2011 at 10:21am - misc - by woahheylex - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was working the drive-thru at McDonalds, and as I handed out a Diet coke to the customer, the man started growling and yelled "HULK SMASH!" He smashed the cup with two fists and drove off. I was drenched in soda. FML

#16827191
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35226) - you deserved it (4484)

On 06/24/2011 at 12:46am - work - by Sam (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out my dad thinks he's famous because he's been on 'Cops', twice. FML

#16814483
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42002) - you deserved it (3643)

On 06/23/2011 at 10:19am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, I learned how to wolf-whistle properly, and then learned what it feels like to be slapped on the head. FML

#16796718
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8928) - you deserved it (30734)

On 06/22/2011 at 9:31am - misc - by youknowwhatitis - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was using the restroom when a little girl tried to open my stall. It was locked, so she slid under the door and tried to have a conversation with me while I was pooping. FML

#16767931
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40537) - you deserved it (3477)

On 06/20/2011 at 6:42pm - misc - by shyshy96679 - United States

Today, I was working the register at our local McDonald's. After a strange man left a massive order, he said, "Can I pay you in gummy worms?" FML

#16690191
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33621) - you deserved it (3891)

On 06/16/2011 at 2:37am - work - by Hank Gummyworm - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was given a new nickname at work due to my boss always confusing me with one of my co-workers who is taller than me. Someone suggested he just call us the same name to make it simpler, and the tall one would be big and the short one little. Everyone at my job now calls me Little Dick. FML

#16591385
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38853) - you deserved it (4297)

On 06/10/2011 at 4:09am - work - by lilben (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boss asked if he could pay me in guns. FML

#16571694
327 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30150) - you deserved it (5473)

On 06/09/2011 at 12:06am - work - by grant b - United States (Texas)

Today, I received a phone call from my old boss asking me why I wasn't at work, to which I responded, "Because you fired me yesterday". He didn't say anything, and hung up. FML

#16480266
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36633) - you deserved it (2976)

On 06/03/2011 at 5:57am - work - by xmeatballx21 - United States (South Dakota)

Today, whilst at my job as a lifeguard, a small child decided he couldn't hold it any longer and released his bowels in the pool. It was my job to clean up his dump, including the floating pieces of sweetcorn. FML

#16474774
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35760) - you deserved it (2869)

On 06/02/2011 at 9:44pm - work - by corn - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I fell asleep in class. I'm the teacher. FML

#16450721
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14908) - you deserved it (42999)

On 06/01/2011 at 12:05pm - work - by quickfingers100 - United Kingdom

Today, it was the last day of school. My students shared what they thought of me. Expecting to hear wonderful things, all of their complaints can be summed up in a few words: I'm a liar, a killer of dreams, I need to grow up, and I was a big disappointment to them. I'm a first-year teacher. FML

#16425645
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29185) - you deserved it (13062)

On 05/30/2011 at 9:59pm - work - by sashimieater - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML

#16217085
441 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37112) - you deserved it (10101)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:54am - kids - by yobruh -

Today, my girlfriend and I got in an argument so intense that she left saying that we needed to spend some time apart. The argument was over what was the best PIXAR movie. FML

#12943582
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16261) - you deserved it (21488)

On 09/07/2010 at 1:00am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I found out why my five year old has been throwing tantrums while shopping. It turns out my ex-husband has been paying her three dollars for every public tantrum she throws. FML

#8051143
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33580) - you deserved it (3157)

On 02/09/2010 at 12:53pm - kids - by inthedark (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: