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999pun999

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999pun999
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  • Number of visits : 373
  • Number of comments : 50
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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999pun999's favorite FMLs

Today, after ordering pizza, I heard some strange noises coming from my basement so I called the cops. The pizza came fifteen minutes before the cops. FML

#16848104
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28346) - you deserved it (4571)

On 06/25/2011 at 10:21am - misc - by woahheylex - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was working the drive-thru at McDonalds, and as I handed out a Diet coke to the customer, the man started growling and yelled "HULK SMASH!" He smashed the cup with two fists and drove off. I was drenched in soda. FML

#16827191
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34064) - you deserved it (4374)

On 06/24/2011 at 12:46am - work - by Sam (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out my dad thinks he's famous because he's been on 'Cops', twice. FML

#16814483
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36726) - you deserved it (520)

On 06/23/2011 at 10:19am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, I learned how to wolf-whistle properly, and then learned what it feels like to be slapped on the head. FML

#16796718
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7487) - you deserved it (26214)

On 06/22/2011 at 9:31am - misc - by youknowwhatitis - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was using the restroom when a little girl tried to open my stall. It was locked, so she slid under the door and tried to have a conversation with me while I was pooping. FML

#16767931
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36094) - you deserved it (3158)

On 06/20/2011 at 6:42pm - misc - by shyshy96679 - United States

Today, I was working the register at our local McDonald's. After a strange man left a massive order, he said, "Can I pay you in gummy worms?" FML

#16690191
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32378) - you deserved it (3792)

On 06/16/2011 at 2:37am - work - by Hank Gummyworm - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was given a new nickname at work due to my boss always confusing me with one of my co-workers who is taller than me. Someone suggested he just call us the same name to make it simpler, and the tall one would be big and the short one little. Everyone at my job now calls me Little Dick. FML

#16591385
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36802) - you deserved it (4096)

On 06/10/2011 at 4:09am - work - by lilben (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boss asked if he could pay me in guns. FML

#16571694
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25027) - you deserved it (4122)

On 06/09/2011 at 12:06am - work - by grant b - United States (Texas)

Today, I received a phone call from my old boss asking me why I wasn't at work, to which I responded, "Because you fired me yesterday". He didn't say anything, and hung up. FML

#16480266
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31530) - you deserved it (2254)

On 06/03/2011 at 5:57am - work - by xmeatballx21 - United States (South Dakota)

Today, whilst at my job as a lifeguard, a small child decided he couldn't hold it any longer and released his bowels in the pool. It was my job to clean up his dump, including the floating pieces of sweetcorn. FML

#16474774
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30779) - you deserved it (2132)

On 06/02/2011 at 9:44pm - work - by corn - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I fell asleep in class. I'm the teacher. FML

#16450721
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12883) - you deserved it (39209)

On 06/01/2011 at 12:05pm - work - by quickfingers100 - United Kingdom

Today, it was the last day of school. My students shared what they thought of me. Expecting to hear wonderful things, all of their complaints can be summed up in a few words: I'm a liar, a killer of dreams, I need to grow up, and I was a big disappointment to them. I'm a first-year teacher. FML

#16425645
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26201) - you deserved it (12001)

On 05/30/2011 at 9:59pm - work - by sashimieater - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML

#16217085
438 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35542) - you deserved it (9881)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:54am - kids - by yobruh -

Today, my girlfriend and I got in an argument so intense that she left saying that we needed to spend some time apart. The argument was over what was the best PIXAR movie. FML

#12943582
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13593) - you deserved it (18769)

On 09/07/2010 at 1:00am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I found out why my five year old has been throwing tantrums while shopping. It turns out my ex-husband has been paying her three dollars for every public tantrum she throws. FML

#8051143
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27961) - you deserved it (2442)

On 02/09/2010 at 12:53pm - kids - by inthedark (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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