About 96bart96 : Hello creepers!
........move along now
About 96bart96 : Hello creepers!
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96bart96's favorite FMLs
Today, I had just bought a new $60 basketball and decided to go try it out. Five minutes into playing, the ball decided to roll into the hands of a little girl, who then said, "Mine". I thought it was cute, until she skipped over to her parent's car and they drove off. FML
by Bitchjackedmyball / 09/12/2012 at 4:52am / United States (Hawaii) / Kids
by Anonymous / 09/02/2012 at 10:07pm / United States (Michigan) / Animals
Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook. I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed. Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie. FML
by WhyAppleWhy / 09/01/2012 at 7:14pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by Sarah / 08/17/2012 at 3:45am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to turn down an offer of what seemed like some sexy time with a cute girl because my intestines were bursting with an intense desire to unleash molten lava. I rushed home to squat down, only to let out a disappointingly small piece of crud and a tiny fart. FML
by Jarman / 07/26/2012 at 1:39am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
Today, I was in line at the pharmacy when the man in front of me asked if I wanted to see a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. Before I had time to answer, he showed me a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. FML
by Uncircumcised Penis / 07/24/2012 at 5:51am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by Marjorie / 07/13/2012 at 1:08pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by LetItRip / 07/12/2012 at 4:35pm / Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha) / Miscellaneous
by hot coffee / 07/12/2012 at 11:17am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Miscellaneous
Today, I heard a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I discovered my husband, naked and with his pants around his ankles, standing in the bathtub and pointing at a cockroach on the ground. After disposing of the body, I had to stay and comfort him while he wiped his ass. FML
by I_Has_A_Fishy / 07/10/2012 at 3:33pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/08/2012 at 7:26am / Australia / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/30/2012 at 6:35pm / Italy (Lombardia) / Love
Today, I texted my friend and asked her what her sad status on Facebook was about. She texted me back saying her step-mother had passed away. I tried to reply with "awwh" but my phone autocorrected it to "ahaha." FML
by iPhonekid / 05/27/2012 at 3:19am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by ShadowJack / 04/29/2012 at 11:10am / United States / Intimacy
by SG / 03/24/2012 at 8:14am / United States / Intimacy
- Today, I got food poisoning and have had the worst diarrhea ever. I laid down in bed, hoping to get… Today, while lying in bed with my boyfriend after some steamy lovemaking, he sat up, slapped my ass… Today, after over a year of lifestyle changes and a ritualistic exercise regime, I finally reached…