96bart96

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Offline (the 12/13/2014 at 3:03am)

96bart96

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 29 September 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3175
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About 96bart96 : Hello creepers!

........move along now

96bart96's page activity

Visits<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 4:32pm<b>cskipgolfer2013</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 8:21pm<b>roro_superloser</b> - the 07/11/2013 at 1:40pm<b>Ishq786</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 9:33pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 06/05/2013 at 3:33pm<b>larson15</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 11:48pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 2:21pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 05/27/2013 at 11:36am<b>goalie01</b> - the 05/26/2013 at 5:42am<b>Mr_Leading</b> - the 05/26/2013 at 3:00am<b>Bryankaoz</b> - the 05/23/2013 at 11:09pm<b>army_of_misfits</b> - the 05/23/2013 at 8:22pm<b>Halie0119</b> - the 05/17/2013 at 3:25pm<b>bendboys</b> - the 05/14/2013 at 8:39pm<b>red1116</b> - the 04/07/2013 at 12:27pm<b>lochiamochia</b> - the 03/13/2013 at 11:38pm<b>Dennisse_47</b> - the 03/11/2013 at 12:07am<b>GabrielleFrance</b> - the 03/09/2013 at 6:58am

96bart96's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

96bart96's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw a woman in the neighbouring apartment taking a shower without pulling the blinds of her bathroom window. As a good Samaritan, I waved my arms to attract her attention that she forgot the blinds. She noticed me, opened the window, did a weird boob dance and middle fingered me. FML

by Magicali / 04/21/2013 at 10:56pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a job interview. Everything was going well until I noticed a picture of a dog hanging on the wall, which reminded me of the ending of Marley and Me. I started crying and had to be escorted out. FML

by crybaby / 04/12/2013 at 1:58am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my grandma gave me a sex talk. Not the usual one, either. This one was about blowjobs. I had to sit politely as she explained it's something all women have to learn if they want a well-behaved husband, but that it's an "acquired taste". Gag me. FML

by butnotlikethat / 03/15/2013 at 8:05pm / China (Jiangxi) / Intimacy

Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML

by Anonymous / 03/03/2013 at 9:40am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, because he didn't trust himself not to cheat on me. What? FML

by Anonymous / 03/01/2013 at 7:02am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML

by Anonymous / 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, while using a public restroom to change my tampon, I made eye contact with someone looking at me through the little space in the door. FML

by fviz / 02/07/2013 at 4:51am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband started a conversation with, "In Pokémon" and ended the same conversation with "and that's why we should divorce." FML

by PokeWife / 02/06/2013 at 8:38am / United States (Nebraska) / Love

Today, the police arrived at my door, telling me my child had been caught vandalizing. A boy who looked about 15 hugged me and said, "Hey, mum". I'm only 26 years old and had never seen this boy in my life. FML

by Female / 01/22/2013 at 6:16pm / Australia (Victoria) / Kids

Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML

by methane overload / 01/18/2013 at 8:32pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband sent me a text before heading home from work. All it said was, "Need a fuck. Backed up to hell. You're about to shower face first in a fire hydrant." Love you too, hun. FML

by Anonymous / 01/18/2013 at 3:59pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I held a door open for a sweet old lady with a walker. After she went through the door, she turned and said, "That's not how you're gonna get into my pants, son." FML

by Keastwood013 / 01/18/2013 at 10:25am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom wished me "Happy Conception Day." FML

by Anonymous / 01/16/2013 at 4:08pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in the elevator, when a big bearded guy stepped in, wearing a dress. It's not an uncommon sight where I live, but my friend cracked up and asked him if he was wearing underwear. He took it as a challenge, and I can safely say that no, he was not. FML

by juvenile friends suck / 01/10/2013 at 3:52pm / Germany (Schleswig-Holstein) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking through a crosswalk when a lady in a car looked at me with a horrified expression and then hit her door locks repeatedly. FML

by lobstercola / 11/24/2012 at 11:35am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous