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96bart96

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96bart96
  • Town/Country : Nunya, Business
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 29 September 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 735
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About 96bart96 : Hello creepers!

........move along now

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96bart96's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up with a wax strip on my chest and my girlfriend sitting next to me on the bed laughing. She pulled the strip. I screamed. FML

#20149912
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28045) - you deserved it (4022)

On 11/06/2012 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Ugggggggggg (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML

#20144826
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25271) - you deserved it (2617)

On 11/02/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by for fuck sake dad (woman) - Ireland (Limerick)

Today, I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into my house. I've been searching my house for two hours and still can't find him. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML

#20142294
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30435) - you deserved it (2135)

On 10/31/2012 at 11:04pm - kids - by ananymous - United States (New York)

Today, I passed out while I was with my boyfriend in his garden. I woke up on the concrete just outside his house. Apparently, he'd tried to carry me in, but because he was too weak, he gave up and went to watch TV. FML

#20131269
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21085) - you deserved it (2826)

On 10/24/2012 at 12:52pm - love - by Alice - United Kingdom

Today, I saw a man lying face down in a field and thinking he was injured, I ran over to help. As soon as I got to him, I realized he was completely naked. He stood up and chased after me. FML

#20131002
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23133) - you deserved it (2037)

On 10/24/2012 at 7:14am - misc - by bill - United States (Maryland)

Today, while driving with my puppy in the passenger seat, he jumped out of the window. FML

#20124915
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18077) - you deserved it (23130)

On 10/20/2012 at 3:16am - animals - by puppylove - United States

Today, I woke up and found a little note where my husband should have been. It said, "We've had some good times, hun, but it's time for me to move on." We've been married for 15 years, and have 3 children. FML

#20121146
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36186) - you deserved it (1887)

On 10/17/2012 at 4:16pm - love - by AbandonedHouseWife - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I walked in on my brother sticking his erect penis through a donut. I doubt I'll ever be able to unsee this. FML

#20113997
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30443) - you deserved it (2480)

On 10/12/2012 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was walking home when I saw an elderly woman struggling with a large bag of garbage. I asked if I could help. I got it all the way to the dumpster and the bag ripped. Inside were about fourteen dead cats. FML

Today, I completely shaved my head as a gesture for my boyfriend's mother, who was suffering from cancer and having a terrible time undergoing chemotherapy. Turns out she doesn't even have cancer, and my boyfriend thought I wouldn't have the guts to do it. FML

#20110360
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29833) - you deserved it (4481)

On 10/10/2012 at 11:05am - misc - by horriblejoke (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML

#20110144
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25631) - you deserved it (4522)

On 10/10/2012 at 4:43am - animals - by assholecat (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, at work, my boss asked me why I wasn't adhering to proper dress code. I pointed out that skinny jeans are in the dress code, to which he replied, "Only if you're skinny." FML

#20102886
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19191) - you deserved it (10802)

On 10/05/2012 at 12:40pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had just bought a new $60 basketball and decided to go try it out. Five minutes into playing, the ball decided to roll into the hands of a little girl, who then said, "Mine". I thought it was cute, until she skipped over to her parent's car and they drove off. FML

#20068584
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25265) - you deserved it (4400)

On 09/12/2012 at 4:52am - kids - by Bitchjackedmyball - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my fully grown, 90-pound German Shepherd sniffed and wagged his tail as a guy mugged me. FML

#20054806
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17539) - you deserved it (1322)

On 09/02/2012 at 10:07pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook. I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed. Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie. FML

#20052962
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16629) - you deserved it (42419)

On 09/01/2012 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by WhyAppleWhy (man) - United States (Florida)



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Thursday 10 April 2014

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