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96bart96

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96bart96
  • Town/Country : Nunya, Business
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 29 September 1992 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 282
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About 96bart96 : Hello creepers!

........move along now

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96bart96's favorite FMLs

Today, I was fooling around with my husband on the bed. I was excited as he lifted my arms up in a seductive way, only to roll deodorant under my armpits. FML

#19337633
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9232) - you deserved it (21232)

On 03/24/2012 at 8:14am - intimacy - by SG - United States

Today, I had to explain to my 65-year-old mother that it is inappropriate for her to walk around in front of me in her underwear. Her response? "Too bad." FML

#18821985
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13888) - you deserved it (9647)

On 01/16/2012 at 3:19am - misc - by appropriatepolice - United States (Illinois)

Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML

#18072283
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27739) - you deserved it (2041)

On 10/25/2011 at 2:04pm - kids - by mew - Canada

Today, my grandmother pulled down her pants and screamed, "Kiss my ass" in the middle of a packed restaurant. FML

#17669006
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24884) - you deserved it (2404)

On 09/05/2011 at 9:00am - misc - by Brie - United States (Georgia)

Today, the guy I've had the biggest crush on came to my house to pick me up for our first date. As we were leaving, my father screams out "Do you still have diarrhea?" I don't have diarrhea. My dad thinks he's so funny. FML

#17364293
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32263) - you deserved it (2656)

On 08/04/2011 at 4:30am - love - by Anon (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

#17089969
495 comments

I agree, your life sucks (105197) - you deserved it (5803)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)

Today, I inexplicably claimed ownership of someone else's fart in the subway. FML

#16341227
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7735) - you deserved it (23421)

On 05/25/2011 at 10:33am - misc - by anonymous - Singapore

Today, I offered to drive my girlfriend's grandpa to the doctor. I thus learned my girlfriend's grandfather has a colostomy bag when it burst all over the inside of my truck. FML

#16247260
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26875) - you deserved it (2089)

On 05/19/2011 at 12:27am - misc - by John -

Today, I was sitting in the park eating a sandwich, when a homeless guy asked me for some spare change. I said I didn't have any. He offered an "erotic striptease" in exchange for my sandwich. I said no. He gave one anyway. I walked back to work on an empty stomach. FML

#15800511
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23110) - you deserved it (4434)

On 04/15/2011 at 10:04pm - work - by :| - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

#15472026
401 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41735) - you deserved it (6420)

On 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm - misc - by omg - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males. FML

#15042917
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42534) - you deserved it (33090)

On 02/19/2011 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I cleaned my entire apartment hoping to find the source of the terrible odor I've been smelling for the past week. It's me. FML

#14567308
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5444) - you deserved it (24609)

On 01/13/2011 at 4:12pm - health - by John - United States (New York)

Today, I realized the birthmark I have on my chest isn't a birthmark at all; it's a third nipple. FML

#14534141
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31890) - you deserved it (3166)

On 01/10/2011 at 3:35pm - health - by triplenipple (man) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, a woman laughed after hearing my voice for the first time. This happens whenever I meet someone new, without fail. FML

#14022149
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23205) - you deserved it (2084)

On 11/29/2010 at 9:22am - misc - by Username -

Today, while sleeping over at my girlfriend's house for the first time, I got up to go to the bathroom. I went to go back and once in the room asked, "You ready for round two baby?" The light came on and at this moment I realized I went into her parents bedroom by mistake. FML

#14007811
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13288) - you deserved it (28785)

On 11/28/2010 at 2:10am - intimacy - by apavies444 - United States



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