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96bart96

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96bart96
  • Town/Country : Nunya, Business
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 29 September 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 751
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About 96bart96 : Hello creepers!

........move along now

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96bart96's favorite FMLs

Today, my crush kissed me for the first time. However, my hair was falling into my face and getting in the way. No problem, I wear a wig so without thinking, I simply removed it. I don't think he'll kiss me again anytime soon. FML

#20755685
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43465) - you deserved it (16320)

On 06/30/2013 at 6:58am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, while volunteering at a local museum, I politely told an elderly gentleman to have a nice day. He responded by yelling "NO" and storming off. Everyone looked at me like I was some sort of monster. FML

#20741264
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34486) - you deserved it (2375)

On 06/22/2013 at 5:16pm - misc - by me - United States (Ohio)

Today, I walked in on my grandma playing with herself. Every time I close my eyes, I see things that no mortal was ever meant to see. FML

#20739366
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61861) - you deserved it (5023)

On 06/21/2013 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by bleeeaaaaaacccccchhhhhhhh (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting for her result. Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML

#20701323
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62501) - you deserved it (3362)

On 06/02/2013 at 2:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, after buying 3 new alarm clocks, I finally decided to video tape myself all night to figure out if my alarm clock was broken or if I was oversleeping. Turns out I wake up around 4am each day and turn them off without remembering. FML

#20700571
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49080) - you deserved it (5850)

On 06/02/2013 at 2:06am - misc - by sleepy momma - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, wanting to do something nice for my dad, I mowed the lawn. He grounded me for "emasculating" him. FML

#20699633
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46604) - you deserved it (3909)

On 06/01/2013 at 4:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

#20698637
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63179) - you deserved it (17998)

On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML

#20695159
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59561) - you deserved it (4755)

On 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm - kids - by life insurance for 1 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was sending intimate pictures to my girlfriend and accidentally sent one to my best friend. He sent me one back. FML

#20690661
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53416) - you deserved it (31610)

On 05/28/2013 at 1:44am - intimacy - by Abrams52 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I thought the public restroom I was in was empty, so I started rapping. I realized the room was not empty when, recognizing the song, the person one stall over joined in. FML

#20677562
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26073) - you deserved it (37910)

On 05/21/2013 at 11:01am - misc - by crappingrapping - United States

Today, I tried on a new perfume. When my boyfriend hugged me, he commented that I smelled like his mom. I don't know who was more surprised by the simultaneous bulge in his pants. FML

#20668540
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50125) - you deserved it (3549)

On 05/17/2013 at 3:21am - intimacy - by Uncomfortable (woman) -

Today, my stalker ex girlfriend turned up at my wedding, uninvited, wearing a wedding dress. FML

#20655660
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78914) - you deserved it (4368)

On 05/11/2013 at 2:25am - love - by tdrtnlz - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, I walked in on my brother giving his best friend a hand-job. I can't unsee this. FML

Today, I saw a woman in the neighbouring apartment taking a shower without pulling the blinds of her bathroom window. As a good Samaritan, I waved my arms to attract her attention that she forgot the blinds. She noticed me, opened the window, did a weird boob dance and middle fingered me. FML

#20611911
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38062) - you deserved it (13361)

On 04/21/2013 at 10:56pm - misc - by Magicali (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had a job interview. Everything was going well until I noticed a picture of a dog hanging on the wall, which reminded me of the ending of Marley and Me. I started crying and had to be escorted out. FML

#20585994
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19288) - you deserved it (45592)

On 04/12/2013 at 1:58am - misc - by crybaby (man) - United States (New York)



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