About 96bart96 : Hello creepers!
........move along now
About 96bart96 : Hello creepers!
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96bart96's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 04/26/2014 at 7:36am / United States (Georgia) / Kids
by Anonymous / 04/20/2014 at 12:03am / United States (Idaho) / Animals
Today, my neighbor asked to come over and use my laptop. She showed up drunk, grabbed my boobs, and asked if I'd ever had a lesbian experience. We both have husbands and kids; the kids were in the room. FML
by freakedout / 04/10/2014 at 10:32pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy
Today, I called my mom to ask for some help with my dishwasher. Somehow, the call got turned into a video call. I was wearing a bathrobe, and she was naked in her bathroom. Most awkward call ever. FML
by FaceTime issues / 04/06/2014 at 2:57am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
Today, while in line at my local bakery, an old man passed wind in front of me. The smell was like nothing I've ever experienced before. I managed to withstand it, but the child behind me could not, and spewed orange vomit all over my back. FML
by Anonymous / 04/05/2014 at 12:04am / United States (New Mexico) / Kids
Today, a tiny worm was wriggling across the screen of my Mac laptop. I tried to wipe it away with my thumb, but it just kept crawling. Turns out the worm lives *inside* my screen, beneath the glass. FML
by Anonymous / 03/21/2014 at 1:14am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out why my dad always treated me badly as a kid compared to my siblings. It's because I was conceived while my mom was cheating on him. On top of that, he made it clear that he still doesn't consider me a "real" part of the family. FML
by Anonymous / 03/20/2014 at 4:23pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids
Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML
by molliciousj / 02/19/2014 at 12:09am / United States (Texas) / Animals
by Anonymous / 02/18/2014 at 2:49pm / Virgin Islands, U.S. / Intimacy
by BigLove / 02/04/2014 at 9:25pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/12/2014 at 1:38am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
Today, to avoid a guy who's been creepily following me around school lately, I ducked into the girl's bathroom. After few minutes, he stuck his head in with his eyes closed and asked if I was done yet. FML
by stalked / 01/08/2014 at 3:27pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mother was reading an annual Christmas letter from an old university friend. When she remarked that she could have married him instead of my father, I replied that she wouldn't have had me then. She then said, "Exactly, I could have had his daughter instead." FML
by rejected / 12/23/2013 at 5:44am / Australia (Queensland) / Kids
Today, everything that was beautiful and pure in my life turned into a terrible, warped version of what it once was. Today, I lost all hope and no longer believe that life, although sometimes shitty, is sweet and worth living. Today, I met my mother-in-law. FML
by Anonymous / 11/07/2013 at 5:21pm / United Kingdom (Derry) / Miscellaneous
- Today, after spending months comparing the previous weather forecasts to work out the exact date,… Today, I threw up when I got home because I'd been drinking with friends. My parents asked what was… Today, my mom had to go to one of her relatives’ funeral. She came to borrow a black scarf from me,…