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96bart96

Offline (the 12/13/2014 at 3:03am) | Search for a member

96bart96

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 29 September 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1873
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About 96bart96 : Hello creepers!

........move along now

96bart96's page activity

Visits<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 4:32pm<b>cskipgolfer2013</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 8:21pm<b>roro_superloser</b> - the 07/11/2013 at 1:40pm<b>Ishq786</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 9:33pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 06/05/2013 at 3:33pm<b>larson15</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 11:48pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 2:21pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 05/27/2013 at 11:36am<b>goalie01</b> - the 05/26/2013 at 5:42am<b>Mr_Leading</b> - the 05/26/2013 at 3:00am<b>Bryankaoz</b> - the 05/23/2013 at 11:09pm<b>army_of_misfits</b> - the 05/23/2013 at 8:22pm<b>Halie0119</b> - the 05/17/2013 at 3:25pm<b>bendboys</b> - the 05/14/2013 at 8:39pm<b>red1116</b> - the 04/07/2013 at 12:27pm<b>lochiamochia</b> - the 03/13/2013 at 11:38pm<b>Dennisse_47</b> - the 03/11/2013 at 12:07am<b>GabrielleFrance</b> - the 03/09/2013 at 6:58am

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50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

It’s in the can

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96bart96's favorite FMLs

Today, my grandmother told me that since my dad was a mistake, I too am a mistake. FML

#21143150
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45746) - you deserved it (3758)

On 05/17/2014 at 5:56pm - misc - by 2ndgenoration (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my daughter was scared to go to the bathroom because she thought there was a person behind the shower curtain. There actually was a person behind the shower curtain. FML

#21137389
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59964) - you deserved it (5137)

On 05/12/2014 at 1:17am - kids - by kids -

Today, my little brother put a battery to my tongue while I was sleeping with my mouth open. The shock found its way right to my metal filling. FML

#21123309
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41768) - you deserved it (3594)

On 04/26/2014 at 7:36am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

#21117679
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51655) - you deserved it (4525)

On 04/20/2014 at 12:03am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, my neighbor asked to come over and use my laptop. She showed up drunk, grabbed my boobs, and asked if I'd ever had a lesbian experience. We both have husbands and kids; the kids were in the room. FML

#21109873
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52356) - you deserved it (5199)

On 04/10/2014 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by freakedout (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I called my mom to ask for some help with my dishwasher. Somehow, the call got turned into a video call. I was wearing a bathrobe, and she was naked in her bathroom. Most awkward call ever. FML

#21105694
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37831) - you deserved it (4550)

On 04/06/2014 at 2:57am - misc - by FaceTime issues - United States (Arizona)

Today, while in line at my local bakery, an old man passed wind in front of me. The smell was like nothing I've ever experienced before. I managed to withstand it, but the child behind me could not, and spewed orange vomit all over my back. FML

#21104869
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44490) - you deserved it (3118)

On 04/05/2014 at 12:04am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, a tiny worm was wriggling across the screen of my Mac laptop. I tried to wipe it away with my thumb, but it just kept crawling. Turns out the worm lives *inside* my screen, beneath the glass. FML

#21092367
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41950) - you deserved it (4253)

On 03/21/2014 at 1:14am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out why my dad always treated me badly as a kid compared to my siblings. It's because I was conceived while my mom was cheating on him. On top of that, he made it clear that he still doesn't consider me a "real" part of the family. FML

#21091901
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52644) - you deserved it (3109)

On 03/20/2014 at 4:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML

Today, while getting intimate with my boyfriend, he started sucking on my breast. He ended up popping a pimple on it into his mouth. He threw up and that, as they say, was the end of that. FML

#21064527
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48227) - you deserved it (17833)

On 02/18/2014 at 2:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Virgin Islands, U.S.

Today, Facebook put something out that shows a video of your entire life on the website. A part of it showed your most popular status update. Mine was from when I got dumped at Christmas. FML

#21050703
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47493) - you deserved it (4856)

On 02/04/2014 at 9:25pm - love - by BigLove (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after his sixth beer, my dad looked me in the eye and said "I've never forgiven you for what you did to your mother's vagina". FML

#21025234
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56704) - you deserved it (5698)

On 01/12/2014 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, to avoid a guy who's been creepily following me around school lately, I ducked into the girl's bathroom. After few minutes, he stuck his head in with his eyes closed and asked if I was done yet. FML

#21021456
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59636) - you deserved it (4356)

On 01/08/2014 at 3:27pm - misc - by stalked - United States (Florida)

Today, my mother was reading an annual Christmas letter from an old university friend. When she remarked that she could have married him instead of my father, I replied that she wouldn't have had me then. She then said, "Exactly, I could have had his daughter instead." FML

#21002184
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44444) - you deserved it (3721)

On 12/23/2013 at 5:44am - kids - by rejected (woman) - Australia (Queensland)



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