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Mobility
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Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17254) - you deserved it (32612)
On 03/03/2013 at 9:40am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I walked in on my son teabagging his sister over a video game. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16537) - you deserved it (1956)
On 11/09/2012 at 7:30pm - kids - by john r.t. (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I took my daughter to a pony ride at the fair. I paid to have her picture taken, and when we got home, I emailed it to my mom. She replied, disgustedly pointing out that the pretty little pony was displaying a pretty little penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11798) - you deserved it (1328)
On 09/17/2012 at 1:16pm - animals - by :,< - United States
Today, my dad wants me to spray a wasp nest, because I'm the fittest family member and can run the fastest. The wasps are already angry, and I'm allergic to them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18246) - you deserved it (1033)
On 09/01/2012 at 10:09am - health - by iliveintexas - United States (Texas)
Today, my husband and I stopped at a scenic overlook on top of a mountain. I looked down and noticed several small shells and excitedly called him over. I said, "I can't believe I found fossils here!" The moment it came out of my mouth, I realized they were pistachio shells. So did he. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4584) - you deserved it (12991)
On 07/17/2012 at 4:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alaska)
Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (29018) - you deserved it (3192)
On 07/14/2012 at 8:50pm - intimacy - by checkup (man) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)
Today, I woke up exhausted because a croaking frog had kept me awake the night before. This has happened every night for the past week, and no matter how far away I take the frog, it always ends up sitting in the same place the next morning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20011) - you deserved it (3925)
On 08/16/2011 at 2:18pm - misc - by froggylicious - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my phone alarm woke me up. It had fallen under my boyfriend's bed. Naked, I got on all fours to retrieve it. My boyfriend's dog stuck his nose in my ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35504) - you deserved it (15865)
On 05/09/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by coldwetnose (woman) - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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